Zelgadiss the Rapper

Part Six

“I Gotta Believe!” Revised

*Begin Stupidity! ^^*

[Zel’s bedroom]

*The song “Funny Love” plays throughout the scene up to the rap (too bad I couldn’t find the words to it… ^^;;). Copy Rezo walks in, hands Zel a letter, and leaves. The letter is an invitation of some sort*

[Xelloss’s place…]

*Thanks to reading ahead of the script, Xelloss already knows about the invitation and how it’s for Zel and a guest. He decides to pay our favorite cursed fellow a visit…*

[Zel’s bedroom]

*Xelloss suddenly phases in, startling Zel. After more than a few threats and Flare Arrows, Zel finally caves in and agrees to let Xelloss come with him to wherever the invitation’s to because he does not want to read bad fanfics on a satellite, starting with this one and this absurdly long run-on which will never, never, never, ever end, NEVER, OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO- *WHAM!* OK, OK, I’ll stop it! He then throws Xelloss out the nearby window before Xelloss gets any “funny ideas”… ^^;;*

Zelgadiss: (Maybe I should’ve opened it first… <(((.^))>;;)

Rezo and Copy Rezo’s voices: ZEEEELLLLL!!

[In front of Xelloss’s place…]

*Much later. With much grumbling, Zel gets out of the car and walks to the door, knowing that Chibi’s prized Venusaur will hurt him badly if he doesn’t go. He is also aware of a certain Miss Derall lurking in the bushes with a camera, but decides she’s the least of three evils and ignores her. Xelloss exits the place of residence (which we are not telling you what it is to drive you nuts), devoid of the Sunny Funny costume and dressed normally*

Zelgadiss: Why does he get to dress normally?!

Sunny Xelloss (No matter what! >p): *Holds up Chibi’s copy of Wild ARMs* You just have to know how to get people to work for you… ^_^ *(*grumble*mutter* cheap bastard *mutter* If there’s so much as a new scratch, I’ll…!)*

Zelgadiss: Can we get this over with already?! *(Yeah, yeah, yeah…)*

[Millama Pub… er, Club. ^^;;]

*After Gourry lets Zel and Xelloss enter the pub… er, I mean club! Yeah, that’s the ticket! This is supposed to be a place minors can enter, ya know! ^^;; … anywho, Zel eventually gets dragged onto the stage in the front, where the previous teachers are back-up singers… (I smell a set-up, do you? ^^;;) The song “Funny Love” ends now*

Ultros: *Walks on the stage in an absurd costume that attempts to look like the teacher from the original Parappa, but fails miserably* Yo, yo, yo! I’m gonna jam up your rap!

Locke’s voice: *From backstage* He’s over there! Get him!

Celes’s voice: *ditto* He’ll pay for trying to finish me off through Looney Tunes-like means!

Edgar’s voice: *ditto* We shall help you as best we can, my fair lady. ^_^

Gau’s voice: *ditto* Gau help! Gau help! ^_^

Ultros: Uh… You’re on your own! *Vaguely British* Run away! Run away! *Give Zel the microphone and flees through the crowd*

Zelgadiss: *Sweatdrop* Oy… now what do I do?

Sunny Xelloss: Take it off! ^_^-<3 *Waves singles he got who-knows-where. A group of Zel’s female (and some male) fans join Xelloss*

Zelgadiss: *Sweattrain* I am NOT stripping!

Female fangirl 1: Can we take it off you then?

Sunny Xelloss: Hey, I call first dibs! ^_^;;

Zelgadiss: *Blushing furiously* NO, YOU MAY NOT! *Rudy climbs up on the stage*

Rudy Chin: *Grabs the mike from Zel* I’ve had enough of this! Let’s just get this done so we can go back to our normal lives, OK? *To Zel; off the mike* Just follow my lead, OK?

Zelgadiss: *To Rudy* I’ll try… <(((_~))>;;

[On stage!]

*Music starts*

Rudy Chin: *To Zel; off the mike* Listen close, you may need to do this later. *Back on the mike* Somebody say “ho”! (Crowd: HO!)

Sombody say “ho, ho”! (Crowd: HO! HO!)

Say “ho, ho, ho”! (Crowd: HO! HO! HO!)(Wiseguy #1: Merry Christmas!)(Wiseguy #2: TOM!)

Now screeeeeam! (Crowd: AAAAAAAAAAH!) (Wiseguy #3: It’s Chris Farley in a thong!)(Wiseguy #2: CROW!)

Everybody say “ho”! (Crowd: HO!)

Everybody say “ho, ho”! (Crowd: HO! HO!)

Say “ho, ho, ho”! (Crowd: HO! HO! HO!)

Now screeeeam! (Crowd: AAAAAAAAAH!)

Teachers: o/~ What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: Er, I gotta do… something? *sweatdrop*

Teachers: o/~What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: Uh… Whatever Lina wouldn’t do?

Teachers: o/~ What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: Do I look like I know?!

Teachers: o/~ You gotta do what? You gotta do wha~t?

Zelgadiss: What, do I gotta believe?

(*The Zel fangirl posse [yes, with fanboys too…] still wave singles at Zel*)

Rudy Chin: Hey, yo, everybody… Put those singles back everybody! ^^;;;

Zelgadiss: Er, yo, everybody? It’s not that kinda show, everybody… <(((.^))>;;;

(*Xelloss gets on the stage*)

Rudy Chin: O, oh; o, oh, here come that fruit! And he’s- (*Gets glomped by Xelloss*) YIKES! HEY! Leggo!

Zelgadiss: *sweatdrop* ……………………

Rudy Chin: (*Repeatedly hitting Xelloss over the head with a microphone*) Get off, get off the #&@#ing stage, ‘cause you don’t wanna see me in a rage!

Zelgadiss: Like he would do it like that; he likes it as that, no other difference is the fact!

Rudy Chin: (*Still trying to fight off Xelloss*) You *whack!* gotta *whack!* do what?

Zelgadiss: I gotta be thankful he’s not bothering me?

Rudy Chin: (*Xelloss whispers something to him*) You wanna do what?!

Zelgadiss: I wanna go home!

Rudy Chin: *WHAM!*WHAM!* You gotta do what?

Zelgadiss: Hell if I know!

Rudy Chin: But most important… (*Draws ARM*)

Zelgadiss: I gotta get out of the line of fire! (*Steps away from Rudy and Xelloss quickly*)

Teachers: o/~ What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: (*Rudy fires upon Xelloss*) I gotta get me one of those things? <(((_^))>

Teachers: o/~What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: I gotta do… um… stuff?

Teachers: o/~ What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: I give up, what?

Teachers: o/~ You gotta do what? You gotta do wha~t?

Zelgadiss: I gotta believe?

Rudy Chin: (*Regains composure; to Xelloss*) A to the R to the M to the S; do that again and I’ll fry your-

Zelgadiss: Rudy!

Rudy Chin: What? We’ve said worse words that that!

Zelgadiss: Not in the raps unless it’s for effect.

Rudy Chin: Whatever. Er… I lost my place.

Zelgadiss: Well, I think it was the last line of this one…

Rudy: Oh, OK. Er… isn’t the last line yours?

Zelgadiss: I think so… (*Pauses for the right time to join back in to the song, then…*) Pay money materia, where the Mogay’s gotta go; R-A-Tilt the author to the floor!

Rudy Chin: You gotta do what?

Zelgadiss: I gotta… do something?

Rudy Chin: You gotta do what?

Zelgadiss: I gotta get myself one of those ARM thingies?

Rudy Chin: You gotta do what?

Zelgadiss: I gotta… er…

Rudy Chin: But most important…

Zelgadiss: I gotta makes sure Xelloss stays like that the rest of the night? (*Points to the badly-injured [but still grinning] Xelloss on the stage floor*)

Teachers: o/~ What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: I gotta… I don’t know!

Teachers: o/~What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: Quit asking me that!

Teachers: o/~ What’cha gonna do whe~n they come?

Zelgadiss: Who the hell are “they” anyway?!

Teachers: o/~ You gotta do what? You gotta do wha~t?

Zelgadiss: I gotta believe! Um, er… Somebody say “ho”? (Crowd: HO!)

Er, somebody say “ho, ho”? (Crowd: HO! HO!)

Say “ho, ho, ho”? (Crowd: HO! HO! HO!)

Now scream? (Crowd: AAAAAAAAAH!)

Everybody say “ho”… (Crowd: HO!)

Everybody say “ho, ho”. (Crowd: HO! HO!)

Say “ho, ho, ho”! (Crowd: HO! HO! HO!)

Now screeeeeam! (Crowd: AAAAAAAAAH!)

*End rap*

Zelgadiss: … I didn’t bomb?

Rudy Chin: No, you didn’t. Nice job. ^_^

Zelgadiss: Er, thanks… <(((_^))>;;

Sunny Xelloss: *Half-dazed and still on the floor* Now do I get to seduce him, Chibi? ^_^-<3

Zelgadiss: … lemme see that ARM thingie, Rudy… *Rudy hand Zel the Prism Ray ARM. Fade to black before shots are fired*

[A Movie Theater]

*Zel, Xelloss, Gourry, and Cecilia are just now entering the theater. They go and find seats, then sit down. Xelloss decides to be cute and sit in Zel’s lap. Xelloss is quickly thown at the movie screen. The movie screen displays a nice neighborhood with “The End” in big letters and has a Xelloss-shaped imprint in it*

*

End Part 6

* * *

Aftermath

or

“KT and the Sunny Funny Band” Revised

Zelgadiss: I’m glad that’s over!

Rudy: Yeah. I don’t think I could’ve kept my cool for another part…

Cecilia: You weren’t even able to keep your cool for this part, Rudy.

Rudy: ……………………

Gourry: So, uh, is Lina going to be here soon?

Cecilia: Depends on if Chibi decides to write “UmJammer Amelia”.

Gourry: What’s an “UmJammer”?

Cecilia: Good question… *Xelloss zips past with Chibi chasing him*

Chibi: GIMME BACK MY COPY OF WILD ARMS OR I MAKE YOU READ ALL OF “FINAL FANTASY VII: THE UNTOLD STORY”, YOU #@#&#$# FRUITCAKE JERKWAD!!

Rudy: … I think Xelloss’s a little angry that even with him as the female romantic lead, he still didn’t get anywhere with you, Zel.

Zelgadiss: Maybe a little.

Xelloss: *Phases in next to Zel* Ah, but that’s easily fixed! *Gives him a biiiiiig smooch. All else sweatdrop*

Rudy: …………… does this mean Chibi gets her game back?

Xelloss: *Breaks off the kiss* Sore wa, himitsu desu! ^_^-<3 *Phases out*

Zelgadiss: *In shock* …………………!!

Rudy: Look on the bright side; at least he didn’t grope you as well. *fumes* Stupid jerk fruitcake… >.<

*

THE END! WOO HOO, ALL RIGHT! ^_^

An “Organized Chaos!” Production

Characters by: A lot of people who aren’t Chibi.

Crossover concept creator, writer, lunatic: Chibi-chan

Special thanks to:

Aurora Derall

The Milama Pub MB group

Starring:

Zelgadiss Greywords as himself

Xelloss as Sunny Xelloss

Gourry Gabriev as Gourry Kat

Cecilia Lynn Adlehyde as PJ CeCe

Rudy Roughnight as Rudy Chin

Yuffie Kisagari as Swipe-Steal Mistress Yuffie

Precis Neumann as Invent-Destroy Mistress Precis

Nanami as WA-TAK Mistress Nanami

Quistis Trepe as Instructor Trepe

Guido as himself

Rena Lanford as herself

Featuring:

Jessica de Alkirk

Alhazad

Kefka

Jack Van Burace

Ultros

Locke Cole
Ceres Chere

Gau

Edgar Figaro

I can’t believe you read this far! Go find something else to read! It’s over!

…………………………….

………………

……..

…

.

I lied.

[Group Photo Time!]

Rudy: *Behind a camera. The main cast are assembled before him… except for Xelloss* Everyone ready? *Sets the timer on the camera, the rushes to the group. He trips and falls as Xelloss phases in and glomps Zel. Just then, the flash goes off…*

NOW it’s the end! Ja ne! ^_^