Zelgadiss the Rapper

Part 2

“You Guys Can Sit in the Back” Revised

*Begin stupidity! ^^*

[Lanford Doughnut]

*Gourry and Cecilia are, predictably, eating. Xelloss tries to find further ways of breaking the memory cards*

PJ CeCe: *Muffled* Shubent ‘e ‘e ‘ere by dow?

Sunny Xelloss: *Checks a watch he summoned from Pocketspace (a subdivision of Hammerspace)* Hmm, he is running a bit late… *Zelgadiss finally reaches our group at Lanford Doughnut* You’re late. ^_^;;

Zelgadiss: *Rapid fire* Well… youseeIwasattheYuffDojoandIgotstuckthereforawhilebut- *WHAM!*

PJ CeCe: *Tosses aside broken mallet* Say it normally!

Gourry Kat: Was that really necessary?

PJ CeCe: *To Gourry* No, but it was fun! ^^

Zelgadiss: Anyway, it’s no big deal. Um, where were we in the script?

Sunny Xelloss: A few lines before Rudy shows up again.

Zelgadiss: *Thinks* A few lines… *Lightbulb* Oh, I know where we are now! *ahem!* Now what do we do?

Gourry Kat: Get more food? ^^;;

PJ CeCe: Sounds good to me! ^^;;

Sunny Xelloss: Ditch these stupid outfits and go on strike? *Whispers to Zel* Or ditch these stupid outfits and *whisper*whisper*whisper* ^_^

Zelgadiss: I BEG YOUR PARDON?!? <(((_O))>;;; *Thankfully, a car heads their way, providing a distraction. He mutters…* thankyouthankyouthankyou… ^^;;;

Gourry Kat: *Indicating the car* Isn’t that the Super Delicious Ultra Great Atomic Whatchahoozits EX Plus Alpha II Championship Edition Turbo? *Gasps for air* ^^;

PJ CeCe: … close enough. ~.~;;

Zelgadiss: ……………………

Sunny Xelloss: Forget your lines, Zelly-kins? ^_^

Zelgadiss: Call me that again and I make you read “The Happy Spell”.

Sunny Xelloss: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! O_O;;;; *The car pulls up to the curb. Rudy gets out of the car*

Rudy Chin: Yo. Like the new wheels?

Gourry Kat: *blink*blink* Just the wheels are new? *WHACK!*

PJ CeCe: He meant the car overall, Gourry.

Gourry Kat: Oh.

Zelgadiss: *Hushed; to Rudy* I’m just glad you came by when you did; Xelloss was trying to get a little too “friendly”.

Rudy Chin: *Hushed; to Zel* Again? *Normal tone* Anyway, you need a ride anywhere?

PJ CeCe and Gourry Kat: YEAH! ^^

Rudy Chin: *sweatdrop* Lemme guess, you wanna stop by another food place.

Gourry Kat: Off course! ^_^

PJ CeCe: Where else, Rudy? ^_^

Rudy Chin: *sweatdrop* Uh, you two coming too?

Zelgadiss: Do we have a choice?

Rudy Chin: Not unless you want to be forced to read bad fics. C’mon, CeCe, Sunny, sit up front with me… You guys can sit in the back. *Points to the very, very distant back end of the car*

[Front of the car]

*Rudy tries to pull the car out… but goes backwards and crashes*

Rudy Chin: Uh, oops. *Pulls the car out of there FAST!*

[Back of the car]

*Gourry’s knocked out. Zel’s barely conscious*

Zelgadiss: oog… If I could drive, I’d do a lot better than he does… *Pictures himself driving a car… and running over Xelloss… and again and again and again… He grins* But how can I do that…? *Lightbulb* Yeah, I know, I gotta believe again! ^^;;

[The Garden Garage]

*Quistis Trepe stands in front of a cheaply-designed car*

Instructor Trepe: So, you want to know how to drive, correct? It’s not as simple as you think, but… Just follow my rap and you’ll be OK. ^_^;;

[Inside the car and on the road!]

Instructor Trepe: OK, we’re here, in this piece of crap car,

Why don’t you show me that you can get far!

*Repeat lines* Step on the gas-

WATCH THE SPEEDOMETER, ZEL!! (Repeated: [Zel] What’s a Speedometer?!)

Step on the brakes-

(Thank goodness for seatbelts…)

*Stop repeat* Now listen, kid, you gotta be careful!

Get it right this time or I’ll give you an earful!

*Repeat lines* Step on the gas!

Hey, you got it! (Note: “You”s turn to “I”s, off course)

Step on the brakes!

Hey, that’s right!

Now step on the gas!

*Stop repeat* I’m glad you got that figured out!

Get this next part right so I won’t have to shout!

*Repeat lines* Check and turn the signal to the right-

I SAID THE RIGHT! THE RIIIIIGHT!! (Repeated: [Zel] The right?! Aw, bugger!)

Just check and turn the signal to the left…

And turn to the left…

*Stop repeat* P-pull over, and pull over quick!

Thanks to you driving, I’m gonna be sick!

*Long pause as Quistis is noisily vomiting outside the car*

(Zel: I didn’t think I was that bad… <(((_~))>;;;)

OK, kid, just one more try!

Mess it up bad again and I think I’ll cry!

*Repeat lines* Check and turn the signal to the right!

Slow it down and turn to the right!

(Not repeated: [I. Trepe] Wow, not bad!)

Now check and turn the signal to the left!

Slow it down and turn to the left!

Pull over again…

You know we’ve pulled over again? (Repeated: [Zel] Because I failed?)

*Stop repeat* That’s because you got it right!

Zelgadiss: Do I get my license then?

Trepe: Since I don’t want to go through this again, yep!

Zelgadiss: *Sarcastic* Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. <(((.<))>;;

[License Bureau]

*A crappy picture is taken of Zel and put on his license… ^^;;*

*

End Part 2

(Merribian Boogaloo! ^^;;)