The Digi-Hunter

Episode 2

“No, I didn’t see it, Takato,” one Rika Nonaka said, talking on cordless phone and sorting through her digimon cards. Apparently something Takato said didn’t sit right with her, since she dropped the cards in her free hand and suddenly leaned forward. “WHAT?! They aired the bath footage?! I’ll KILL the little creep!” she exclaimed.

After calming herself down a bit, she heard something else interesting. “Ryo’s going to be in this episode? Does it look like he’ll be publicly embarrassed too?” Pause. “’See for myself; it’s on in five minutes’? This I gotta see. Thanks, goggle-head!”

She shut off the phone and set it down on the table. “This should be good…”

Impmon, in the Crocodile Dundee hat and khaki shorts, stood on a Dance Dance Revolution machine in an arcade. “Oy, welcome to ‘Da Digi-‘Unter, starrin’ me, Impmon! Today, we’re at dis arcade ‘ere to take a look at da rare goofy digimon-obsessed fanboy and ‘is even goofier bucket of digital bolts!”

No sooner than that was said than did Kazu, not noticing Impmon, got on the platform (DDR is played by stepping on the appropriate buttons) opposite of Impmon and put his money in. “Hey, c’mon, Guardromon! I think there’s enough room for you too!”

Impmon’s eyes widened in a manner similar to those of Wile E. Coyote right before a boulder was about to fall on him. He tried to make a run for it but the big metal foot of Guardromon was on his tail before he could get far enough away.

“Hmm… Kazu, should the machine be squishy?” Guardromon asked.

“Nope. Someone probably just dropped candy or something on the machine,” Kazu said. “Now hurry up and get ready! It’s about to start!”

Impmon sighed. “Dis is for Leomon, isn’t it? Dis is my punishment, right?”

After failing miserably at the game, Guardromon said, “This machine is still squishy…”

“I hate my life…” Impmon complained weakly.

“Oh, that poor little creature!” Rika’s grandmother said. She and Rika had been watching the show together until this point. “Is he going to be OK?”

“Yeah; he’s survived worse,” Rika assured her.

Impmon, with an arm in a sling and various bandages wrapped around him in places, hobbled out in front of the camera. “We’re heyah at da house of the overly cute angel ting and ‘is Tamer, Kenta. Now, dis should be pretty safe dis time…” He then noticed his camerama… camerawoma… cameradigimon had wandered off. “Oy, now what…?”

Camera turned on Kenta, Calumon asked, “Whatcha’ doing?”

Kenta blinked, then turned to the camera, “Oh, just playing Chrono Trigger. Is it me, or does Robo look familiar somehow?” He then pointed to the TV, to which the camera was turned towards. A boy with spiky red hair and a blonde girl in harem pants were off to opposite sides as a woman with a helmet and glasses worked on a familiar looking robot on the screen.

“Dere youse are!” Impmon shouted. “Whaddaya tink yer doin’, runnin’ off in the middle of a show?!” he scolded. Calumon pointed to the screen. Impmon looked and said, “Hey, dat ting dat weird chick’s working on, it looks like-“

“Hey, Kenta! How’s it going?” Kazu’s voice greeted off camera.

“Brother!” Guardromon exclaimed upon seeing Robo. “Do not fear, I shall get you out of there!” he proclaimed, running full tilt towards the TV, right over Impmon, and into a wall. Guardromon then paused for a moment. “… your floor feels like that Dance Dance Revolution machine, Kenta,” he said.

“medic!” Impmon squeaked.

“Are you sure that poor creature will be all right, dear?” Rika’s grandmother asked.

“I… think so…” Rika said, not all that sure anymore herself.

Impmon, now resembling a mummy more than a digimon, was in someone’s apartment. “An’ ‘ere we are at da apartment of the so-called ‘Digimon King’ (although Rika could probably kick his butt any day of the week) and his scary, feral digimon, Cyberdramon.

Calumon, after propping up the camera on a stool, was looking at a DVD case that was dropped on the floor. “Impmon, what’s a ‘Hime-chan No Ribbon’?”

Impmon blinked. “Huh? Lemme see dat!” he said. He picked up the case and took a look at it. Not being able to read, he turned to the cover illustration to figure out what it was. “Looks like sap to me… What else the got here?”

Impmon went to a shelf and started pulling out DVD cases, looking at them, and tossing them to the floor as Calumon read aloud what each one was. “’To Heart’, ‘Kannon’, ‘Love Hina’, ‘Maison Ikokku’, ‘Sailor Moon’, ‘Cardcaptor Sakura’…”

Someone crying from the next room was heard. “Crickey! Someone’s cryin’! C’mon, Calumon! We gotta get dis on tape!” Impmon commanded.

The next room revealed something quite interesting. Monodramon, the rookie form of Cyberdramon, was sitting in the middle of the floor next to a box of tissues, watching the TV and bawling. “NO! Not Fiore! All we ever wanted to was to give tux boy a flower!” he wailed, then sniffled and blew his nose loudly.

Impmon couldn’t contain himself. He burst into hysterical laughter at the very sight of this normally dangerous digimon weeping at the Sailor Moon R movie.

Monodramon was not amused when he heard Impmon and discovered he was being watched. Not at all. The good-sized (for a Rookie) gray digimon tackled Impmon and growled, “If you ever, EVER tell anyone else about this, Renamon or no Renamon, you’re dead. Understand me? DEAD!”

Impmon, knowing better than to say that this was for a TV show and that the budget wouldn’t allow another shot, just said nervously, “Yeah, sure, I understand. I’ll just be goin’ now…”

Calumon, on the other hand, didn’t know any better. “But don’t we need this footage for our show?” he asked.

“Show?” Monodramon asked.

Impmon, thinking fast, wriggled free of the bigger and scarier digimon and told him, “Eh, just ignore da little cream puff; he’s been off his Ritalin and he gets kinda weird widdout it…” He quickly pulled Calumon out of the room and out of the apartment.

“Morons,” Monodramon muttered.

Rika was having trouble not laughing hysterically, “Heh, heheh, Monodramon watching sappy shoujo crap… heheheheheheheheheheheh…”

“Well, at least that poor creature didn’t get hurt at the end of this part…” Rika grandmother said to no one in particular.

“Next episode, we’re gonna be lookin’ at Hypnos and da four digimon Sovereign-“ Impmon, looking in a little better condition said before being tackled again by Monodramon. “Oh, eheh, hi dere!” he said sheepishly.

“Ryo told me about the show. Now you die,” Monodramon growled.

After fading to black, Impmon could be hear saying, “… why me? Why is it always me?”

And then the credits rolled…

“The Digi-Hunter”

Based on the idea of Impmon and Calumon

Starring

Impmon…………………………..as himself

Camera-digimon…………………...Calumon

…and a whole lot of others.