“Organized Chaos!” Productions presents

Based on the idea of Skyfox120

Written by Chibi-chan

Starring Impmon and Calumon

An outside canon fanfic

 

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The Digi-Hunter

Episode 1

 

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            It was a fairly quiet night at the Wong residence.  Mrs. Wong was folding clothes in another room, the older children were at a movie with some friends, Henry was fiddling with his computer, and little Susie was looking for Lopmon and/or Terriermon to dress up as “Princess Pretty-Pants”.  Janyu (Mr. Wong if you’re nasty) was flipping through the channels on the TV from his chair when something caught his eye.  He stared for a moment, then called out for his son.

 

“Yes, dad?” Henry asked after entering the room.

 

“Son, do you know anything about this?” Janyu said, pointing to the screen.  What Henry saw was interesting, to say the least…

 

*

 

Impmon, clad in a Crocodile Dundee-inspired hat and khaki shorts, was in the bakery owned by the Matsuki family.  “Crickey!  An’ dis here is home to da rare pineapple-headed bread eater and ‘is goggle-wearin’ Tamer!”

 

He walked over to one of the ovens and said, “An’ dis is…  is…  Hey, Calumon, what da heck is this thing, anyway?”

 

Calumon, the digimon holding the camera recording this, cheerfully told him, “That’s where bread comes from!”

 

Impmon paused, looked to the oven, to Calumon, and back to the oven.  “Bread, eh?”  He opened the oven door and looked inside.  Not seeing any bread, he climbed into the oven and proclaimed, “Hey, der ain’t no bread in here!  Kinda hot in ‘ere, tho’…”

 

It’s pretty dark in an oven, so Impmon didn’t see that Mr. Matsuki was about to put some loaves in the oven…

 

*

 

A singed and understandably cranky Impmon glowered at the camera.  To his left was Guilmon, who was sniffing him.  Guilmon innocently asked, “Why were you in the oven?  Were you trying to make Impmon bread?  And why do you smell funny?”

 

“Bite me, pineapple-head,” Impmon told him sharply.

 

*

 

Henry wasn’t sure what to make of this show.  “No, dad, I don’t know about this.  I’m not sure I want to either,” he said firmly.

 

Susie, toting Terriermon in “Princess Pretty-Pants” garb in with her, sat down on the floor and after a moment, pointed to the TV and exclaimed, “Hey!  I wemember that!”

 

*

 

A healed but still unhappy-looking Impmon was now exactly where the three members of the Wong family were watching television at this moment.  “Here we are at da nat’ral habitat of the long-eared sickeningly cute bunnies.  We must be extra careful here, since dis is also the home of the squealin’ ‘Pwincess Pwetty-Pants’ (or ‘Triple-P’) makah…“

 

In the background, Terriermon and Lopmon fled across the room, chased by Susie, who was holding a bib and pacifier and squealing, “Come ON!  One of you pway ‘Pwincess Pwetty-Pants’ with me!” 

 

“Well, speak ‘a da devil-“

 

“The devil, the devil, the devil!” Calumon happily obliged.

 

Impmon sweatdroped.  “Erm, yeah.  Anyway, da feared ‘Triple-P’ makah ‘as been spotted.  Now, dis is very dangerous…”

 

In the background, the two rabbit-like digimon poked their heads out from under the couch and frantically gestured for Impmon and Calumon to join them.  Calumon, seeing them, put down the camera, thinking they were playing ‘hide and seek’ rather than ‘hide from Susie until her interest wanes’, and joined them under the couch.  Impmon, on the other hand…

 

“Hey!  Calumon!  Whaddaya tink yer doin’, puttin’ down da camera so da peoples at home can’t see my byootiful face, huh?” Impmon complained.

 

Susie’s feet were now on screen.  “Oh!  Who are you?  You want to pway ‘Pwincess Pwetty-Pants’ with me?”

 

“Oh… crap…” Impmon was heard faintly muttering…

 

*

 

“Oh dear…” Lopmon murmured. 

 

The bunnies and Impmon were now on screen.  Impmon glared crossly at the camera.  He was wearing a diaper, bib, and pink bonnet and had a little pacifier in his mouth.

 

“Ya know, I think that’s a good look on you, Impmon!” Terriermon told him, unable to fight giggles after the last word got out of his mouth.

 

“Turn da camera off, Calumon…” Impmon grumbled, wishing not to prolong his mortification.

 

*

 

“Should I laugh, or be scared?” Janyu asked no one in particular.

 

“Yes,” Henry said.  “Yes, you should.”

 

*

 

Impmon was out of the baby attire and was now in someone’s bathroom.  “Here we are at the illustrious bat’room of the Digimon Queen, Rika Nonaka.  We’re here so we won’t be noticed.  See, da Digimon Queen is a little… *cough* short-tempered…”

 

*

 

Henry looked to his father.  “This can only end in pain,” he said.

 

Janyu simply nodded.

 

*

 

The door of the bathroom began to open.  “Crap!  HIDE!” Impmon said in a harsh whisper.  He dove into the full bathtub; Calumon hid in a clothes hamper, peeking out a little with the camera.

 

The person entering was not yet on camera, but the tune it was humming was picked up by the camera’s microphone.  “Stupid Ryo, why does everyone think he’s so great…?” a girl’s voice, Rika’s to be exact, grumbled.  The sound of something soft hitting the ground, a bathrobe, more than likely, and footsteps leading up to the tub were heard.

 

Impmon could only hold his breath so long. He surfaced for air, and all hell broke loose…

 

Rika let loose a blood-curdling shriek, then was heard running back for the bathrobe.  Presumably after the robe was back on, she then started throwing anything and everything she could at Impmon, calling him a wide variety of interesting words, some of which had to be bleeped.  Impmon scrambled to get out of the tub but was only successful after several attempts that ended with him slipping and falling back under the water.  All of which, of course, were caught on tape.

 

And the worst wasn’t over yet…

 

*

 

Once outside, a wet and unsettled Impmon only found himself face to face with a less-than-pleased Renamon.  “Impmon, I believe we have to discuss the importance of privacy…” she said.

 

“Dis… just ain’t my day…” Impmon said weakly.

 

The rest of their exchange went a little something like this…

 

“Diamond Storm!”

 

“IIIIIEEEEEEEE!”

 

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

 

*

 

“Ya know, I’m starting to feel sorry for the guy…” Terriermon said, shaking his head.  “I mean, that’s some major bad luck he’s got there.”

 

“Yeah,” Henry agreed.  “I wonder how much longer they’re gonna let this go on…”

 

*

 

“An’ here we are at da home of Jeri Kato-“ a bruised, battered, and generally worse-for-wear Impmon began.

 

Calumon heard a bag rustle.  “Cream puffs!” he exclaimed.  He dropped the camera and the video went all snowy.

 

The audio held up long enough for the dissatisfied sigh of Impmon.  “Oy, I give up…”

 

*

 

And then the credits rolled…

 

 

“The Digi-Hunter”

Based on the idea of Impmon and Calumon

 

Starring

 

Impmon…………………………..as himself

Camera-digimon…………………...Calumon

 

Guest-starring

 

 

            Well, I don’t wish to bore you with it all, so I’ll end those here.

 

*

 

(Next episode: Kazu and Guardromon, Kenta and Marine Angemon, and Ryo and Cyberdramon!)