Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Wild Arms is owned by Media.Vision. Sonic the Hedgehog is copyrighted byt Yuji Naka, SOnic Team, and Sega. Ruroni Kenshi is owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki. Anything else not mentioned is owned by their respective owner. "Tsuioku" is owned by Lady Zhanael Daiche. As she is the co-MSTer, she already knows no offense is meant by this. No demons were harmed in the production of this MSTing. -------------------------------- *A dark figure stands in front of a computer panel. Very little can be seen of the figure, except that it wears a dark cloak and some sort of winged mask. Lady Zhanael Daiche laughs evilly to herself, watching the four screens in front of her.* Zhanael: You're all mine...*presses a green button that says "Transport" and then breaks out into maniacal laughter.* [Heaven] *Two winged figures can be seen wandering about. One, a crimson-haired female, wears a blood red haori and off-white hakama, and the katana and wakizashi typical of a samurai tucked into her obi, as well as a diamond-shaped ebony eyepatch over her right eye. Beside her walks a male, wearing a black muscle shirt and baggy black pants, with hair similar to his companion's, and his left wing broken. A scythe is slung over his right shoulder.* Shouraimegami: So wait--you're going to do _what_ to Renkotsu? Shinigami: *smirking.* Give 'im to you. He'll be your new assistant. Shouraimegami: And what makes you think I _want_ an--*blinks as she suddenly fades out, left without a trace.* Shinigami: ...*blinks.* Erm. The hell...? [Station Square, Earth] Amy: *Spies something on the streets of the city* Sonic! *glomps onto everyone's favorite blue hedgehog* Sonic: A-Amy! Er, hi! ^^; Amy: *sweetly* So, are you going to marry me now? Sonic: No way-- *vanishes* Amy: ... Chaos Control? No, then I would have went with him, right...? [Tokyo, Japan] *A group of five can be seen wandering towards the Akabeko. Kenshin's in the lead, Kaoru beside him, Yahiko and Sano squabbling behind them, and Megumi trying to break it up.* Yahiko: Say that again, Sano!! I _dare_ you!! Sano: Sure thing, _kid_. Yahiko: I'm _NOT_ a KID!! Megumi: Stop it, you two!! Kenshin: *smiling and sweatdropping at the same time.* Oro...it seems like they're at it again, de gozaru yo. Anou...Yahiko-chan, Sano-kun...sessha would prefer it if you--*suddenly poofs, much to the amazement of the other four.* [Court Seim, Filgaia] Rudy: *On his merry way, holding a flower. He stops and looks around* Now where did she go...? *shrugs* Maybe I should check her house-- *vanishes, dropping the flower to the ground* [???] *Each of the four appear in a large living room, complete with leather furniture, a home stereo system, and other high-tech stuff, with windows showing what resembles the prairie. The only door leads to what would be the front hall of a house, except that there's no front door--indeed, there's no door leading outside, period.* Sonic: --way! *blinks a few times, then looks around* Where the heck am I? Shouraimegami: --assistant? *blinks again.* All right, where the hell am I? *glances around, sweatdropping as she sees Rudy.* ...Ah, hellfire. Not _you_... Kenshin: Ororo?! @.@...sessha wa doko, de gozaru ka?! Rudy: *Squints at Shouraimegami* Do I know you from somewhere? Shouraimegami: *shifts into her non-goddess form--Harken, but with wings and an eyepatch now.* I'd say so, yeah. Rudy: Sweet Zephyr... O.o Sonic: If no one else has any stock transformation secquences to do, shouldn't we figure out where we are? *The TV in the home stereo system suddenly comes to life, showing what looks like a clone of Harken, but with a Myotismon-esque mask and vampiric cape. Zhanael.* Zhanael: Greetings, my pets! I'm _so_ glad you could all make it... Sonic: Well, that's convienient. Let me guess; we get shown bad fanfics, right? Been there, done that. Zhanael: *glowers.* Hmph. Yes, well, you might just be stuck there for a while. *grins evilly.* Indeed...for a _very_ long while... Rudy: Er, even when we have enough power to demolish the building a couple times over? Zhanael: Oh, I'm afraid you'll find that quite difficult. See, I've constructed a barrier on the interior walls that will shield _everything_ from being destroyed. Rudy: ........... Kenshin: Oro...sessha is confused...sessha doesn't see any barrier... Shouraimegami: *shifting back into goddess form, thwaps Kenshin upside the head a bit.* Magic, baka. You _can't_ see it. Sonic: Nothing is indestructable, lady. *beat* So, we gonna get started or what? Zhanael: Indeed. Your first fic is one of my own pieces, a yaoi Inu-Yasha fic called Tsuioku. Enjoy, if you can...*TV pops off.* Sonic: Hn, thinks she can get the better of us... *turns to the others* Oh, I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog. Who are you guys? Shouraimegami: Best to just call me Harken, but my name nowadays is Shouraimegami, the Goddess of the Future. Kenshin: Ororo...*still confused.* Sessha no namae wa Himura Kenshin, de gozaru yo... Rudy: And I'm Rudy; Rudy Roughnight. *A red light on top of the TV goes off, and it automatically pops on, though just with a bunch of static.* Kenshin: *blinking at the TV.* Oro...are those...ant races? Sonic: Uh, no. -_-; *Mutters* Didn't I see this in "Poltergeist"? Shouraimegami: ...Erm. No, Kenshin, that's what we call static. *shrugs, sitting down.* Guess the fic's here. Rudy: *Sitting down as well* Why do I have this sense of deja vu? Kenshin: *sits down as well.* Sessha is still confused... *The TV pops on, and the light turns off.* *Seating, L-R: Sonic (on armrest), Rudy, Kenshin, Shouraimegami* >Author's Notes: I was bored, really. I'd gotten the idea from a site off of >Jakotsu.com (forgot what one it was), Sonic: *cough*stolen!*cough*idea!*cough* Shouraimegami: Not a surprise. Wouldn't be beneath her... Zhanael: *from one of the speakers.* I heard that!! >where there was a short little doujinshi, which, I assume, was set right after >Naraku gave Bankotsu the six shards. Rudy: Shard of what? A vase? A shooting star? A life that was cruelly destroyed by the untimely death of a loved one, rending one's heart asunder-- Sonic: We're already reading one bad story; we don't need to _hear_ one too, pal. >I really don't know or not. Anyway, yeah, it inspired me, >so I wrote this. I know it's short, but hey. Rudy (Author): So's Sonic. *Sonic glares at him* Shouraimegami: And Kenshin. Kenshin: Oro? >Yeah, the usual disclaimers; I don't own Inu-Yasha >and its characters; they're Rumiko Takahashi's. > >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sonic (Flying Pig): Wow, what a line-up! But look at me! Whee! *Does a headstand on the armrest* >Tsuioku Shouraimegami: --hen, the story of Hitokiri Battousai. Kenshin: *blinks, and looks at her.* Anou...how do you know about sessha's past, de gozaru ka? Shouraimegami: Don't ask. >By: Lady Zhanael Daiche > >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shouraimegami (Rose): Shana! Aim _for_ the monster, _not_ away! > Jakotsu lay in the still darkness of the black cave, buried under >the rubble Inu-Yasha's Kaze no Kizu had ripped from the hard rock beneath >them. Rudy: So he's got Betty, Barney, and Bam-Bam on him? Shouraimegami: *sweatdrop.* ...Wow, Rudy. That was lame, even for you... Rudy: *mutters* Like you had something better... >Agony coursed through his veins as if >it were his blood, pumping into the rock dust from the stump where his >left arm had been. Rudy: *holds his left arm* I've felt your pain, pal. Shouraimegami: Bah. Your fault for getting caught by Zeik's chain, anyway. Rudy: *GLARE* Kenshin: *sweatdrops.* Ororo...now, now, don't get into a fight... Shouraimegami: *ignores Kenshin and glares right back.* If you'd've dodged, you'd've never had to lop off your arm. Perfect logic, right there. Sonic: Do we need to duct-tape you both in place? -_-; Kenshin: Sessha doesn't know what "duck tape" is, de gozaru yo...but if it will keep them from fighting, it is a good idea. >He was >sure every bone in his body was broken--except where they were missing. > > Yet his mind was still clear. Sonic: Behold the power of Windex! >His heart, along with the rest of his body, was crushed. >Despite his requests, Inu-Yasha refused to kill him. Thus the hanyou had >left him with thoughts and memories swirling in his mind. Shouraimegami: *sweatdrops.* ...I don't want to know what said thoughts and memories are...I really don't... Sonic: ... and they all started with Seto Kaiba, Sasuke Uchiha, and Nicolas D. Wolfwood in a hot tub. Shouraimegami: Rudy, thwap him for me, will you? Rudy: Gladly. *bops Sonic on top of his head* Shouraimegami: Thank you. >Some were as painful as his shattered body. But there was one >as sweet as the death Jakotsu longed for, one he treasured the most... Shouraimegami (Jakotsu): Fluffy...my poor little puppy...how I miss all the times we played... Sonic: I never knew he was secretly "playing" with Sesshoumaru. >) >*~*~* > > When he woke from death, it was as dark as the void he'd woken from. >He could see only several feet about him; hovering above him, however, was >Bankotsu's relieved face. Shouraimegami (narrator): However, Bankotsu decided he wanted to play Dornkirk's part, so he was _just_ the face. >Jakotsu's >eyes wandered downward. They were both naked. He didn't mind. He noticed the >bones of his brothers, Kyoukotsu's skull looming above them; it was a bit >awkward, to say the least. Sonic: Ah, you can just _feel_ the romance. -_-; Shouraimegami: It was foggy, too. _Something_ has to cover them in that place... > Jakotsu blinked. What were they doing alive? He distinctly remembered >four of his brothers falling before him. He remembered the split-second of >agony before the all-consuming blackness of death. Did Bankotsu survive somehow, >and find a way to resurrect them? Or did someone else do it? Rudy: Revive Fruit Man strikes again! > "Jakotsu. Daijoubu desu ka?" Bankotsu's voice matched the look in his >eyes: concern, relief, and something else, something that only appeared when >Jakotsu was concerned. Shouraimegami: *raises an eyebrow.* ...Erm. Just. Erm. Sonic: Too easy. _WAY_ too easy. >The elder >warrior smirked. > > "Hai, Bankotsu-no-aniki," he replied, sitting up. He glanced about, >still a bit disoriented. "Where...are we?" Shouraimegami: A grave. Rudy (Undertaker): Rest... In... Peace... Kenshin: Anou...more like pieces, by the looks of it, de gozaru yo... >Bankotsu shrugged. > > "Does it matter?" His eyes now shone with excitement, holding out his >hand. Sonic: o/~ Take my hand, we'll make it, I swear... o/~ >"The >Shichinintai will live again. It'll be just like before, except this time, >we have a single target." He grinned. "A hanyou by the name of Inu-Yasha." >Jakotsu tilted his head slightly. > > "Male or filth?" Shouraimegami: *twitch.* I resent that remark... Rudy: Pray Jane never hears that crack, Jakotsu. Kenshin: Or Misao-dono. Sessha has no doubt that _she'd_ be angry, de gozaru yo... Sonic: Or Amy. Mallet... *shudder* >he inquired. He hoped for the former; if so, he sounded cute. > > "Male," Bankotsu laughed. "Don't worry." Jakotsu grinned widely, >clasping his hands together. > > "Good! A hunt for a cutie," he nearly squealed. "This'll be fun!" Rudy: Oh look, it's Big Gay Jakotsu! Sonic: Oh, and he's thuper, thanks for asking. Kenshin: *sweatdropping.* And sessha is reminded of what Kaoru-dono and Yahiko told him of Honjou Kamatari, de gozaru yo... > "Heh. I thought you'd enjoy it," the young leader laughed again. >Though he was now turned away, Jakotsu still caught the glint of something >akin to...jealousy? He blinked again, slightly taken aback. Why would he be >jealous? Shouraimegami: *sarcastically.* Oh, I dunno. Maybe because he _loves_ you? Sonic: *Ditto* Nah, it's because he has the Beanie Baby the other's dude's missing in his collection. > "Bankotsu-no-aniki? Are you jealous?" Shouraimegami: Um. Duh? >The question startled even him; he was so >confident of his actions and emotions, and hardly questioned his lack of >loyalty to a single man--after all, he rarely kept a "cutie" around for >more than a day or two. They never survived >that long. Kenshin: *bug-eyed.* Oro?! Shouraimegami: Sure. They'd bleed to death, what with all the wounds he'd give 'em... Kenshin: Ororo...@.@ Shouraimegami: ...*pokes at him.* ...I think I broke him. Sonic: Think we should kick him? It works for the Tornado... Shouraimegami: Nah. He'll wake up on his own. Maybe. > But now, if Bankotsu answered in the affirmative, Jakotsu >considered at least toning it down, just to make him happy. Why? Rudy: Because Stone Cold Hanpan said so! Now if you want to see a Gunsmith Cats fic, give me a hell yeah! Shouraimegami: ...Stone Cold Hanpan? *snickers.* Now _that_ I _have_ to see... > "Why the hell should I be jealous?" Bankotsu smirked as he turned >back. "It's not as though you don't take a new lover every other day, anyway." Shouraimegami: Actually, it's every other _mission_. Or whenever he can get his hands on a "cutie" Zhanael: *from the speaker.* ...I _had_ to pick a Jakotsu fan, didn't I? Shouraimegami: *shrugs.* You reap what you sow, missie. >Jakotsu heard the well-hidden >bitterness in his tone; years of being with "aniki" taught him to read the >young warrior. Sonic: And on him was the complete text of "Green Eggs And Ham". >He >crossed his arms, looking skeptically at the other. > > "You are," he accused. "Hmph." He felt guilty at this observation... >but he didn't know why. Rudy (Richard III): And each tongue cries a several thousand tales, all throng to the bar, crying, "Guilty! GUILTY!" Sonic: ... what the hell? Rudy: Er, never mind. Shouraimegami: *reaches out with a wing and thwaps Rudy with the tip.* >Before he could restrain himself, he blurted out, "You shouldn't be; it's >not like I feel anything for them. Not like I do..." Shouraimegami (Jakotsu): --Renkotsu!! *blinks, then shudders.* *normal.* I did _not_ just say that... Rudy: Something tells me I don't wanna know. Shouraimegami: Bald traitorous bastard. *closes her left eye and lifts up her eyepatch, revealing a silver, pupilless eye underneath.* He'll be found...at the end of--er...*looks to the speaker that Zhanael's voice comes from, then drops her eyepatch.* Never mind. Zhanael: Good girl. >He caught himself, and looked away. He felt his cheeks >burning; he was blushing. Sonic: *smirking* Aw, isn't he cute when he's not thinking about breaking a new "plaything"? Shouraimegami: *looking dreamy.* Ah, yes...he is indeed...it's too bad he hates females... > ~Why the hell am I embarrassed?~ he thought angrily. He was never >unsure about his emotions--or rather, lack thereof. But now he was hesitating, >with no idea why. Shouraimegami (narrator): --he wasn't glomping the braided hottie in front of him. > "Not like you do...?" Bankotsu pushed. Jakotsu blushed even further, >which, in turn, made him angrier. > > "Like hell if I know!" he snapped. "For once, I'm confused." Kenshin: *finally waking up.* Ororo...sessha is too, de gozaru yo... Shouraimegami: Ah, see? Told you he'd wake up. *pats Kenshin's head.* Don't worry, you didn't miss much. >He hesitated, mentally >berated himself for the hesitation, and forced himself onward. "When I >think of you, or when I'm with you, I feel something more than just lust." >He stumbled to an abrupt and awkward halt, Shouraimegami: --fell over onto one of Kyoukotsu's ribs, and died, the end. >despising the admittance of what he considered a weakness. His lack of >confidence could easily mean his second death--if there was any kind of >threat in the blackness that surrounded them. Sonic: African-American-ness! > ~Baka,~ he spat at himself. ~You're just making more of a baka >of yourself! And in front of the one you care about most...~ He let that >thought go. Shouraimegami (Jakotsu): Fly free, little thought! Fly free!! > Bankotsu was silent for a moment. It felt like eternity before he >spoke, and when he did, his words and the tone they were spoken in took >Jakotsu completely by surprise. Sonic: I didn't know there'd be porn in this 'fic! Rudy: Not like _that_. *pause* Er, right? Shouraimegami: Nah. The author was too scared to write it. Zhanael: I was _not_!! I was just...lazy. Shouraimegami: That, too. > "I feel different when I'm with you, too," he said softly. >Jakotsu blinked and looked to the young leader; it was his turn to blush >away. "I think it's what those Kirishitans call >'love.' Whatever it is, I want to be around you all the time. I just...feel >good when I'm around you." Shouraimegami: o/~ "I feel good, danananana / I knew that I would, now..." o/~ >Bankotsu's face reddened further. "And, yeah...there's lust there, too..." > > Before he could stop himself, Jakotsu slid his arms around Bankotsu's >neck and embraced him tightly. He lay his head on the young leader's naked >chest, and felt him wrap his muscular arms around his waist. Jakotsu smiled--a >true, content smile, the first of his life. Kenshin: *blinks.* Oro? How could he _not_ ever have smiled before? Even Aoshi has smiled once or twice, de gozaru yo... Sonic: Yeah, even _Knuckles_ has. I dunno about Shadow, tho'... Shouraimegami: ...Erm. I don't know if Zeik has...Alhazad didn't even have a damn _mouth_ to smile _with_...Belselk doesn't smile, he smirks...and I couldn't see past Boomerang's mask to know if he did... > "What is it the Kirishitans say to one another when they feel this >way?" Jakotsu asked, nuzzling further against him. He shivered slightly at >the sensation of their bodies rubbing together. Kenshin: Ororo~ @.@;;; Sessha does _not_ need those images, de gozaru yo~... Shouraimegami: *wiping away a bit of drool.* Oh, but _I_ like it... Sonic: Must... fight... Rocky Horror ref... > "'Aishiteru,'" Rudy: He defecated the creator deity from Lord of the Rings? Sonic: Ew. Just "ew", man. >Bankotsu replied. Jakotsu leaned up, kissing him softly. Sonic: o/~ Why don't you kiss, kiss this?/And I don't mean on my ruby red lips... o/~ >) Shouraimegami: *grinning like a fool.* Nice, nice images... Kenshin: @.@;;;;; *passes out again.* > "Then 'aishiteru', Bankotsu." > > A soft chuckle. "Aishiteru, Jakotsu..." Rudy: o/~ I love you, you love me/ We're a happy family... o/~ Shouraimegami: *thwaps him _hard_ with a wing.* You're done. No more singing. Rudy: I'd complain, but I deserved it that time. -_-; Shouraimegami: Just be glad I didn't hit you with the claw. *points to the silver claw extending from the joint.* >*~*~* > > Jakotsu smiled sadly, but winced as a fresh wave of agony flared. Renkotsu came into >sight and approached. He knew Death when he saw him. Shouraimegami: *twitch.* No. No no no. Some bald bastard that betrays his comrades is _not_ Death. I _know_ Death. Death is my lover. Rudy: Eh? But wouldn't Ge Ramtos's beak hurt when... *blushes* Never mind. Shouraimegami: It's not Ge Ramtos, dearie. Shinigami. He's my husband, to be exact. Sonic: You're banging Duo Maxwell then? Nice. *thumbs up* Shouraimegami: *sweatdrops.* No, not Maxwell, either... > ~Bankotsu. Those feelings have never changed,~ he thought sadly as >Renkotsu pulled the shard from his throat. Sonic: Ouch. I guess that's how that frog felt when that Chaos Emerald was pulled out of him. > As his flesh dissolved into dust, one last thought passed through >his failing mind. Rudy (Jakotsu): I wonder if I turned the oven off... > ~Aishiteru...~ Shouraimegami: o/~ "taisetsu na hito / koboreta namida ga yuki ni kawaru..." o/~ *The TV displays static once more* Sonic: *Hops off the armrest* So... I take it we're done for now. Shouraimegami: Apparently. *looks at Kenshin.* ... *prods his arm.* 'Eh... guess he's out. Rudy: So, what now? Should we wait for whatsherface to show up on the screen, or just look around here? Shouraimegami: *shrugs.* I'm up for exploring; need to know where I'm gonna be stuck for a while. Sonic: Ditto. I hope there's enough room to run in here. Shouraimegami: Or fly, dammit. My wings cramp if I don't exercise them. Zhanael: *pops onto the screen of the TV.* Oh, don't worry. I've provided enough living space for you all. Rudy: That's awfully generous. Why, if you plan on showing us bad fanfics? Zhanael: I want you to go insane from said fics, not from the lack of comfort. *eyeing each of them.* But I see that you're all still sane... except for Himura there... Sonic: I dunno; I'm not sure if he was in the first place. Kinda weird, that guy... Kenshin: *finally waking up.* Ororo~...sessha is perfectly sane, de gozaru yo... Zhanael: A shame. Ah, well...I suppose I'll just have to keep trying. *smirks.* I have a multi-parter in store for you, my dear little guinea pigs... *laughs maniacally.* Farewell for now! *the TV pops off again.* Shouraimegami: *sweatdrops.* Guess we _are_ stuck here for a while. *sighs.* Damn...I'll miss Yohji-chan... Sonic: ... *lightbulb* Hey, wanna see if they have any chocolate around here? Shouraimegami: *perking up.* Chocolate? If there's one thing I have a soft spot for, it's that. *slides up beside Sonic.* Let's go! Sonic: *grins* OK. *leaves with her* Kenshin: *sweatdrops* Anou...should she even _have_ chocolate...? She seems energetic enough already, de gozaru yo... Rudy: *snickers* True. *pause* Now let's see what all we have right here... -------------------------- E-mail Chibi-chan: chaoscheebs@sbcglobal.net E-mail Lady Zhanael Daiche: KitsuneGenki@hotmail.com Plug! - http://www.filgaia.com/chaos > "Like hell if I know!" he snapped. "For once, I'm confused."