"Mission accepted." -Heero Yuy, "Gundam Wing" *Hums "Mission: Impossible" theme* Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Final Fantasy Tactics and Chrono Trigger are copyrighted by SquareSoft Wild Arms is copyrighted by Media Vision and Contrail. Suikoden 2 is copyrighted by Konami. Gundam Wing is copyrighted by Sunrise/SOTSU Agency, ANB(?), and Bandai. Grandia is copyrighted by Game Arts. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; "Love" is owned by Silver Angel-chan. "Genso Suikoden: Moving On Up" is owned as of now by Alex. No offense or bad stuff was intended with this MSTing. No emotional knife-throwers were harmed in the production of the MSTing. Nearly-mad princesses of destroyed monarchies are open game, tho'. Chibi-chan's notes (a.k.a. Other Stuff) You know, I never knew how great Grandia was until I started playing it a second time. Although I do have to resist the urge to mock Guido (usagi-chan wa kawaii! ^_^) by saying, "It's me, Guido!" And yes, I've seriously goten into Gundam Wing. Heero scares me, Duo... reminds me of a psychopathic male version of me (*SWEATDROP*), Trowa wa SUGOI(! ^_^), Quatre is the ueber-kawaiiest thing this side of Takeru from Digimon Adventure (Combined cuteness... zapping strength... help...), and I wanna slap both Wufei and Relena. Unfortunately, the latter would mean having to face Heero's wrath. *shudder* I never knew spandex board shorts could be so scary... With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ [The SOL (Not the Satellite of Love, tho')] *Rini's garbage du~ er, room. She lies in bed and stares at the ceiling...* Rini: Hmm... I'm pretty sure they know I was drinking after having to deal with *shudder* Tessiri... Maybe I should fake a hangover to get out of watching a fic. Nah, I couldn't do that. Then again, Quatre's still here to cover for me... But will the strain of another fic make him go berserk? My, what a quandry... *Cue theme song* ------------------------------------------------------- (Singer) In the not too distant future, In a surprising little twist, Our interpid villianess Mala-chan Was overthrown by an angry twit! MSTer-turned-Mad, the strategist Klaus, Was hassled by Rini without a pause. So instead of leaving quietly, He put Mala under his control and took up her cau~se! (Rini: Why... that... little...!) (Klaus) I'll send them crappy fanfics, The absolute worst I can find! (Lalala!) They'll have to sit and read them all, And they'll surely lose their minds! (Lalala!) (Singer) Now keep in mind they can't control Where the fanfics begin or end. (Lalala!) To try to keep their sanity, Upon each other they must depend! RIFFER ROLL CALL! Rudy! (LOVE AND PEACE!) Quatre! (I told them to surrender...) Ramza! (I got a good feeling!) Lucca! (I got MAD SKILLZ!) Jaaaaaaaaaack! (SPOOOOOOOOOON!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science fact, Just think to yourself, "It's just a file, I should really just relax, For 'Idiotic Fanfic Theater Whatever' *Twang!* [SOL] *In the training facility, Jack practices with a sword against cardboard standees of Alhazad as Ramza watches him silently by the doorway* Ramza: *Thinking* Ah... beautiful... The way he moves... *sigh* *Jack spots a nice little line of standees and sheathes his sword. In one swift movement a split-second later, he unsheathes the sword, which sends a wide wave of energy the color of flames at the standees, which snaps them all neatly in two* Ramza: *Thinking* Wow, how'd he do that?! O_o;; Jack: *Tosses his hair and admires his work* Not bad, but I wish there was something better to train with than just these silly magically-reinforced cardboard things. Voice: Well, how am _I_ supposed to know what goes into a good training facility?! Jack: You don't? Well then, I guess I'll just have to tell you. Maybe you should run a commercial while we discuss this. Voice: Very well then. *Fade to commercial* --------------------------------------------- Announcer: New on OC!P TV! There's a new outlaw in town and she's not quite sane! Relena the Stampede: *In full Vash gear* LOVE AND PACIFISM! Remaining cast of Gundam Wing: *facefault* Announcer: Deep Space Future Insane Rambling Action reigns on "Trigun Wing"! *In the background, the Shenlong Gundam can be seen making a break for it* Quatre: *Clutching Trowa* Help us! Duo: *Dressed as Milly* Help us _PLEASE_!! Heero: *Dressed as Wolfwood* ... I'm scared. I'm actually scared. Trowa: We're all scared, Heero. ((.-;; Announcer: "Trigun Wing", new to weekdays on OC!P TV, following "Magic Boy Silly Vashy"! OC!P TV is a part of the WTF? Network. Remember, if it's this weird, think WTF?! ----------------------------------------- *On the bridge...* Quatre: That's... er... Rudy: A disgrace to the name of "Vash the Stampede"? Quatre: No, it's... Lucca: Incredibly stupid? Quatre: I wouldn't say "incredibly", but yes. Voice: Drat, I was going for insane and weird for that one. Rudy: YOU! Will you just leave Trigun alone in your stupid promos?! Voice: No, if for no other reason than to annoy you. ^_^ Rudy: I hate you. I really hate you. *The red button flashes* Great, and now Oz is calling. *Presses said button* What the hell do you want? [Evil Central] Klaus: *Now dressed like Luca Blight* Why, I merely want to clear out an old work that the voice just found again and send the next part of the "Super Stars of Destiny" saga. Ah, but that will have to wait until after the lovely Lucca shows off her latest invention, correct? [SOL] Lucca: "Lovely"? Well, at least _SOMEONE_ recognizes my beauty! *Glares briefly at Rudy* Anyway, wait 'til you see what I got today! *Calling to stange right* Come on out, Zel! *Zel walks on the bridge. Lucca pulls up one of the sleeves to his shirt and points at a small white patch* Allow me to introduce the video game patch! This little patch will help those hopelessly addicted to video games, like our darling Mister Greywords here, to let someone else play for a while! [E.C.] Klaus: *Not sure what to make of it* Ooooooo.... kay. If you say so. Mala! Bring "it" out! *Mala-chan wheels out Xelloss, who shows no signs of anything and has a strange piece of paper attached to his head, on a dolly* I call this the "Super Duper Mazoku Stopper 30-30"! It can stop even the most powerful of demons and Mazoku in under 5 seconds! *Xelloss gets off the dolly and sneaks up on Klaus* Xelloss: Oh really? How does it work? ^_^ Klaus: Well, it~ *Notices just who's talking* YAAAAAAAAAH! But how...?! Xelloss: Really, you think one of these little things can stop me? ^_^ [SOL] Zelgadiss: *Takes off the patch* Can I go now? I still have some important matters to attend to. Lucca: Oh, sure, Zel. *Zel exits* Rudy: *Whispers to Quatre* Ten gella says he's gotten desperate enough to play Rhapsody. Quatre: *Whispers back* You're on. [E.C.] Klaus: Well, it's time for your fanfics for today! First is a short poem called "Love". Mala! Send the fic! *Mala presses the send button* [SOL] *Lights flash and klaxons go off* Quatre: Fanfic sign? Rudy: *nod* Fanfic sign. *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically. Door 5: It's PJ Berri! He tries to get you to buy him food as you go. Door 4: It's a swarm of Alhazad cardboard standees. Jack takes the all out with one Cosmic Nova. Door 3: It's your normal run-of-the-mill drawbridge. It falls out towards you, barely missing you. Door 2: It's Puffy! After trying to figure out what he's trying to say to no avail, you move on. Door 1: It's a wall. Tinkerbelle comes, waves her wand, and an opening appears. Seating (L-R): Ramza, Quatre, Rudy, Lucca, Jack* >Subj: Hopefully sending fic to be MSTed... >Date: 3/27/00 9:00:41 PM Central Standard Time Rudy: You've been sitting on this since _March_, Chibi? Sheesh, even when it comes to recreation, you're a slacker~ *ZAAAAP!* Voice: Ah, bite me, you little jerk. >From: Bookie5409@aol.com >To: rinichan@crosswinds.net >Hey. This is short (you may now sigh in relief), but I decided >to just sent it in to be riffed for the hell of it. Have fun! All: *Weakly* Woo hoo... >*** Quatre: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight... >Love Quatre: Trowa. ^_^ Lucca: The stupid metal boy who keeps running from me. *Thwaps Rudy upside the head* Rudy: *Unfazed* Rally, Tessiri, Meryl, Elza, Koume, Tira, Relena- Quatre and Lucca: Relena?! Rudy: *Starry-eyed* She's priiiiiiiiittyyyyyyy... *__* Quatre: *Thinks* No accounting for taste, I guess... Lucca: *Mutters* Great, he likes the crazy ones too. I shoulda known after he'd taken a liking to Tessiri... >By Silver Angel >Can you not see it Jack (Wufei): Are you blind? Ramza (Gendo): Yes, I am. Quatre (Asuka): Baka! *Lightly thwaps Ramza* Rudy: *To the audience* The "New! Slayers Eva-Wing" sketch, folks! >When I need you Jack: -to change that damn lightbulb. >When I love you Quatre: *Dead serious* If any of you make a Barney reference, I _WILL_ get back in Wing Zero. *All are silent* Thank you. >I hold you near >Yet you do not see it Rudy (Narrator): -because you lost your glasses. >What is this >That I feel Lucca: Must... resist... cheap joke... >Can it be love Ramza (Narrator): -or is it that stuff Citan gave me? >Or is it just the imitation Jack (QVC host): It's real imitation love and it's going fast at only $9.99! Get yours NOW! >Can it be forever >Or does it only seem that way >Can it be me >Or do you only look my way All: o/~ Is this the real life?/ Is this just fantasy?/ Caught in a landslide,/ No escape from reality... o/~ >What is it >Is it love >Or just you Jack: o/~ And my big ten-inch/ Record that plays the blues... o/~ Voice: I think you may have made the most obscure Aerosmith comment in the history of MSTing, Jack. Jack: Really? Cool! ^_^ >The End Klaus's voice: Not quite. This is just the warm-up! AHRAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Rudy: *Deadpan* Oh yes. You scare us greatly. Look at us cringe. *Pause* C'mon, look. >Author's notes: I really can't explain it. I'm sorry. I think >it's Amelia talking to Zelgadis, but I'm not sure... Lucca (Author): Or it could be Zel talking to Xelloss... *sideways glance* Rudy: *Cringes* Erk... Zel's voice: NOT FUNNY! *Pause* Omega Meteor?! Argh, damn Marjoly! Lucca: Zel...? Playing _Rhapsody_?! Weird... *Quatre mutters something and gives Rudy the equivalent of 10 gella in a different currency* Zel's voice: Well, since she _STILL_ hasn't sent us either _Chrono Cross_ or _Valkyrie Profile_... Voice: I get the picture already! I'll see what I can do... > > > > Quatre: Future site of a bigger blank area. >****************************** Lucca: Ah, a starry night. How romantic... *Leans toward Rudy. Rudy "eep!"s and goes back a row* Will you _stop_ that?! >mega atashunkan demo sorewa watashi de >uso yo uso, anata kakete kuru Quatre: o/~ "I love you, my prince,/ You are my true love,"/ Coronet, won't you stop your silly dreamin' please? o/~ Lucca: "Kuru", not "Kururu". Quatre: Close enough for me. ^_^ > The moment our eyes met > But it was me > It's a lie, you running after me Jack (whoever's talking): Damn stalkers... >"Tomimeki no doukasen," Fushigi Yuugi ending song >Another good song. >Silver Angel-chan Rudy: So... do we take a break or- *Everyone but Rudy flees the theater* -press on? Well, that answers _that_ question. *Exits as well* *Reverse door sequence* [SOL] *Jack and Hanpan are on the bridge. Jack seems to be deep in thought* Jack: Hmm... this fic... and the last fic... Hanpan, don't you think they're getting just more laughable if anything else? Hanpan: So you've noticed too. I'm impressed, Jack; usually you're not this observant. Jack: Think this might have something to do with Klaus's vendetta against Rini? Hanpan: Hmm? How do think that fits? Jack: Well, his goal is to drive _her_ insane, not the rest of us. So, when she's not in the theater, he sees no point in wasting his best worst material. Hanpan: Say, that's a pretty good theory. Who are you, and what have you done with Jack? Jack: Heh, funny, Hanpan. But... if we were to keep her out of the theater... Hanpan: ... then we wouldn't get the really bad fanfics! Yes, that could work... *The lights flash and klaxons go off* But we can't test that theory yet because WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically. Door 5: It's PJ Berri! He _still_ tries to get you to buy him food as you go. Door 4: It's a swarm of Lady Harken cardboard standees. They all simultaneously turn into Elmina ones. Jack takes one with him before proceeding. Door 3: It's your normal run-of-the-mill drawbridge. It falls out towards you, barely missing you. Door 2: It's Sue! She says she's looking for Puffy. Puffy flies back in, lands on her head, and all is good as you go on. Door 1: It's a wall. Tinkerbelle comes, waves her wand, and an opening appears. Seating (L-R): Ramza, Quatre, Rudy, Lucca, Jack, Elmina standee* >Subj: "Mess with the best, die like the rest." Jack (Ken): *Tosses his hair* Just the best! *Flashes a victory sign* >Date: 10/16/2000 5:41:33 PM Central Daylight Time >From: Zelgadis Xeal >To: Lessa990 Rudy: Insert random AOL joke. Voice: Insert random smiting sound and retort. >More torture for the captives on the SOL. I finally got the >urge to finish this... All but Quatre: .................... Rudy: You mean _HE'S_ writing this now?! O.o;; >Genso Suikoden >Movin' On Up Jack: Oh, he's just _trying_ to make one of us make a reference to the "The Jefferson's" theme song, ain't he? > Beatin' the Peacock First, Cleaning Up the Mess Later Rudy: Thank you for that _lovely_ mental image. -_-;; >(Now with 50% more yaoi/yuri undertones Ramza: Woo hoo! Lucca: Yaoi? Sweet! ^_^ Rudy: Yuri? Jeanne/Raura maybe? ^_^ >and naked Avatar Boys!) Lucca and Ramza: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! > [Disclaimer] > Genso Suikoden and all related characters are property of >Konami. > Alan and Jake have become property of me since Jake passed >ownership of the 'fic along to me since he's been busy with >work and such. Quatre: Well, I wouldn't want credit for this story either, Jake. ^^;; > Any if not all similarities between Suikoden II and Final >Fantasy Tactics are purely coincidental so Ramza can't complain. Ramza: Oh yeah? Try and stop me from complaining! > All annoying (if not totally gay) french noblemen in the >Suikoden series are to be fled from upon visual confirmation. Lucca: Well, seeing as there is no such thing as France in Suikoden, that's not exactly a difference. > Kasumi is better than Valeria. Rudy: But they're even better together. ^___^-<3 Jack (TV announcer): Two great tastes that taste great together! *Rudy starts laughing. Normally, to himself...* Yep, his mind's still in the gutter... -_-; > McDohl would be better than Hiro (or Shawn) Ramza: That's "Schmuck Boy"! >if he had been >able to have more than one rune in Suikoden. > Everyone likes Kinnison Rudy: I don't. Jack: Who's Kinnison? >(though Stallion or Ayda are more >reliable). Lucca: Stallion? _RELIABLE_?! *Breaks out into hysterical laughter* That's a... that's a good one! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That guy's worse than Sir Robin! > Camus doesn't look like the type who's into yaoi since >Nanami seems to be fond of him (if he is into, I didn't notice) >and Camus kinda looks like Trieze. Rudy: All the more reason for him to be considered yaoi around here. _Every_ male in Gundam Wing is considered to be yaoi by a _LOT_ of fangirls, and... *Indicates the P.A. speaker and lets out a haughty chuckle. A bolt of lightning shoots at his feet* Your aim's off today. Voice: Just watch yourself, Roughnight. > In case Kasumi or McDohl happen to be reading this, get a >room or get married or something and if they aren't, you four >can give'em that message. Quatre: *Confused* Huh? Why me? *rimshot* > [Fanfic] > The next morning, Lucca: -Clive and Flik awoke nude and in each other's arms. ^_^ >McDohl walked downstairs and almost >tripped over Alan, who had been sitting against the wall >with his head down. Ramza: Alas, he had died of alcohol poisoning during the night. >He carefully stepped over the dozing >knight and made way to the bathroom, where Viktor was vomiting. Jack: Well, that'd wake you up in the morning for sure. > "....Eh? Viktor? When'd you get here?" McDohl yawned, >scratching his head as he did so. Rudy: Gourry Gabriev _IS_ Young Master McDohl _in_ "Genso Suikoden: Moving On Up"! > "Argh! Last night, Flik and some kid named Alan brought me >n' Pesmerga back here...URK!" Lucca (Viktor): Memory... returning... Flik, Alan, and Pesmerga goin' at it with Clive... asking me to join... Rudy: THAT'S NOT FUNNY! You leave Clive outta this, you... you... Lucca: Beautiful genius inventor? Rudy: ... you... you beautiful genius~ HEY! Don't put words in my mouth! >Viktor retched and wiped his mouth >with a glove. "Too much to drink yesterday. By the way, who's >that kid that let Valeria sleep in Ted's room?" Quatre: Valeria's sharing a room with _Ted_?! O_o; Ramza: I never knew she was into necrophilia~ *WA-TAK!*shish- THOOM!*WHACK!*ching-WHOOSH-TOGG!* owie... *thud!* X.x > "WHAT?! You guys are just letting people in my house?! >Daaaaamn...you guys would probably let in YUBER if he knocked!" *Jack makes a doorbell sound* Quatre (Viktor): Who is it? Jack (Yuber): Yuber calling! Quatre (Viktor): *Mimes opening door* Oh, hi Yu~ ACK! *Plays dead* >McDohl shouted and rubbed his temples in annoyance. >"Ugh...nevermind. I want to take a shower so could you move or >go barf outside?" Lucca (Viktor): Why? Can't I join you? *Normal* I feel dirty now. > "Sure thing McDohl." Viktor headed toward the nearest window. Rudy (Killey): Lorelai! NOOOOOOOOO!! Jack: Wrong story, kid. >McDohl watched as the bear of man stumbled away, tripping over >Alan, who was muttering something about Cleo, Leknaat, salad tongs, >the Pot rune and the stew. All but Ramza: .................. O.o;; Quatre: But wouldn't the stew not only burn someone but also stain the carpet and/or sheets? O_o;; Ramza: Sounds like a fun time to me! ^_^ *All look at him oddly* What? >Staring blankly for a second, McDohl >shut the door in the bathroom to take his shower as he wanted to >look presentable to Kasumi. Ramza (Kasumi Tendou): Oh my, all this for me? ^_^ > Meanwhile, Gremio stood in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for >the young master and his many guests Lucca (Gremio): *grumble*mutter* Today was supposed Young Master and I's "special day" together... Jack (Gremio): Well, maybe now we can get a group discount at Wally's Water World... >(with the exception of Luc, >who no one cared about, Lucca: -except for Sasarai, nudge, nudge, wink wink. ^.^ Rudy: *Dryly* I see you got over Quatre's little comment about not knowing their connection quickly enough. Lucca: Off course! ^_^ >especially Gremio). He hadn't bothered to >look up from what he was doing to see Clive step into the kitchen, >Tornado in hand. Ramza: NO! Don't kill Gremio, Clive! Quatre: "Don't"? Are you feeling OK? Ramza: Eheh, well... I don't want _every_ character to be killed, you know, just one that'd end the story if he or she died. >The expert marksman stared down at the boiling pot, >casting a glance the nanny of Matthew McDohl. Ramza and Jack (Clive and Gremio; chanting): Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldren bubble! *Both look at each other, puzzled* > "Wow...a breakfast stew. You must know how a to make a brunch >stew too." Clive muttered, leaving the kitchen as fast as he had >come, leaving an oblivious Gremio behind. Quatre: *blink*blink* Wow, that was utterly and completely... um... Rudy: Pointless? Quatre: I was thinking more along the lines of non-sequitur, but yes, it's that too. >Feeling a little too >confined, Ramza: ... by his pants... Jack (Clive): AT-TI-CA! AT-TI-CA! >Clive left the McDohl household to go do something to >entertain himself Rudy: *Mutters* ... strippers... >and had ended up walking right back to Banner >Village, Jack: -which is a whole villiage you "wouldn't like when angry". >stopping at Rokkaku Hamlet for a minute to see if Fuma, >Kasumi or Kage were around but left since he hadn't seen them hanging >around outside. Rudy: "Hanging around"? Oh yes, I can see that now... *As Fuma* Dude, what do you wanna do today? Jack (Kage): Dude, I dunno. Kasumi, what do you wanna do, dudette? Lucca (Kasumi): McDohl. *blink*blink* Did I say that out loud? >The previously mentioned female ninja in question >was busy freshening herself up after a long day of fighting monsters >and scouting the area, Ramza (Kasumi Tendou): Oh my, these monster blood stains simply won't come out... Rudy: Thank you. You've officially disturbed me greatly with that line, Ramza. >her thoughts constantly turning to her beloved >Matt-sama (who seemed to be totally oblivious to her affection). Quatre (Kasumi): Maybe I should just drag him here, tie him up, and... *All look at him funny. Normally...* Eheh, never mind... *blush* *^^*;; > "Hmm...maybe I should just corner Matt-sama in his room, strip >him and..." Ramza: ... gut him, thus ending the story? >Kasumi stopped talking when she heard someone knock on >her door. "Come in!" Rudy: No, don't. We don't want a bad lemon here. > "Er...um..hey Kasumi..." Sasuke, who had a crush on the >previously mentioned female ninja, poked his head in. Quatre: ... then he took it out... Jack: ... then he put it back in... Both: o/~ ... and shook it all about! o/~ >"Some people >are here to see you." Kasumi already knew who it was... Rudy: We've secretly replaced Kasumi with Hitomi. Let's see if Young Master McDohl can see the difference... > "MATT-SAMA!" McDohl didn't even have time to duck as his >'girlfriend' appeared out of nowhere and pounced him, wrapping her >legs around his waist and clinging to him. Jack (Kasumi/Shampoo): AIREN! You date with Kasumi now? > "Kasumi! You might've hurt the young master!" Jack: Bad Kasumi! No biscuit! Rudy: Stock MSTing line number... 23, was it? Lucca: No, I think it's number 33 1/4. Rudy: No, that's the "CROW!" line. Lucca: No, no, that's number 69a. Rudy; Oh, right, I forgot. >Gremio helped up >McDohl, who tried to keep his balance while his suitor was holding >onto him as if her life depended on it. Quatre: *Utterly puzzled* Uh... huh? How can he be helped up if he's still standing? Ramza: A winner is you, Alex! Quatre: *Even more confused* Huh? He is? Then how come no one ever told me that he was family? Ramza: Not that kind of... never mind. Just never mind. *Mutters* Twit. > "It's...nice to see you too Kasumi...could you...stop moving >your hand around there?" Rudy (McDohl): -and move it a little more to the right instead? ^_^ >McDohl still didn't quite understand why >Kasumi was so smitten by him but deep down, it felt nice to have Jack: -pie, and lots of it. >someone like that around. > "Huh...? Oh! Oops! Silly me!" Kasumi withdrew her hand and >let go of McDohl. "Did you come here to see me Matt-sama?" Jack (Kasumi; stereotypical pirate): D'ar, ye'll never see me Matt-sama and live, ye land-lubbin' scallywag! > "Half yes and half no." McDohl replied, twirling the Heaven >Fang Staff absently. Quatre (McDohl): I _WILL_ be the drum major in the parade! ^_^ >"Pesmerga's two little sad excuses for >knights have become the Tenkai Stars." *Both Ramza and Lucca hold up signs* Ramza's sign: GO, MCDOHL! Lucca's sign: "WA-TAK!" 'em, McDohl! > "I HEARD THAT!" Jake shouted from outside. Jack: Damn, I just had a "You Can't Do That On Television" flashback... O.o;; Voice: The spirit of Barf Burger lives on! "V" for victory, sucka! All else: ??? Jack and Voice: Before your time. Don't ask. > "So...you mean I'm a Star of Destiny AGAIN?!" Kasumi gaped at >McDohl who just nodded. Rudy (McDohl): Der, cheese is spiffy. Lucca: Despite the fact they have no way of _KNOWING_ since they don't have a _CASTLE_ yet or even a _STONE TABLET OF PROMISE_... Rudy: *Pats Lucca's shoulder* Oh, just calm down, will you? It's just a fic, you know. Lucca: *Blushes a little* Er, eheh, OK then... *^^* > "I'm afraid so..." McDohl shrugged, turning to head outside >when Kasumi shut her mouth and spoke up again. > "Hey Matt-sama...I have something to show you." Ramza: But damn it all, it was a chastity belt. Jack (Maid Marion): It's an Everlast! >She smiled, >walking back to her room. Lucca: Happy little glomping fool, ain't she? > "Don't be long young master Jack (Gremio/Sheriff of Rottingham): It's not the size that counts; it's how you use it! >or Lord Jake or Alan will start >to get impatient." Gremio said as McDohl shut the door to Kasumi's >room..... Quatre: Inside the sounds of a jackhammer could be heard... Jack (McDohl/Marion): No matter what you do, I'll never submi~i~i~i~ i~i~i~it! Rudy: *Dryly* _Fabulous_, it's "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" Ref Day here. > Outside, Alan leaned against the building, tapping the wood >with the Twin Lethal Fangs and sighed. It had been over two hours >since McDohl had gone into that building. Jack; Well, that's what you get when you go to the DMV. > "If I didn't know better, I'd say McDohl and Kasumi are-" Ramza: Dead? Quatre: Aliens? Rudy: Vash the Stampede clones? Lucca: Letting the dogs out? Jack: Line dancing? >Alan >was cut off as McDohl, Gremio and Kasumi stepped out of the building, >Gremio's face red as a tomato. Quatre: When did _Gremio_ go in there?! Lucca: More importantly, did Kasumi videotape it? >McDohl adjusted his collar while >Kasumi dusted herself off and they both looked at Alan, who stared >at the sky again. Jack (Alan): Hey, cool, there's a duck! Rudy (Clive/Uncle Jimbo): It's coming right for us! Quatre: Bang! Fwump! Jack (Alan; muffled): ... ged dis daddam birb ovva my faze... >"I assume that it was good for both of you then?" >McDohl and Kasumi only sweatdropped and looked back at Gremio, now >pale in shock. Quatre: Then Jack and Jill took the pale and filled it with water at a nearby hill. ^_^ All else: ...................... > "Heh.." Pesmerga leapt off the roof and landed with an audible >clang. "It's about time you two got your groove on." Jack: Speaking of which... *Jack and Quatre look at each other, nod, and simultaneously push Rudy and Lucca closer together* Rudy: *Blushing furiously* Q-Quatre! Jack! What do you two think you're doing?! O_O;;; Lucca: Well, isn't this cozy, Rudy? ^_^-<3 Rudy: Uh.. uh... er... *Gets up and leaves the theater in a hurry* Lucca: *sigh* Well, thanks for trying, you two. > "Eh...heh..." McDohl tried to hide his face while Kasumi looked >embarrassed when Viktor, Clive, Valeria and Flik approached them. Ramza: ... orgy time? *Quatre whaps Ramza with a violin bow* Quatre: That's enough, OK? > "What's this about McDohl and Kasumi finally doin' it?" McDohl >wished he could dig a hole and die in it. Kasumi whispered >something to him and he looked up and her with a confused look. Lucca: We're confused too. Who the hell is speaking there anyway?! > "Really?" He asked, getting a nod and grin from Kasumi. "Hey! >I just found out that Valeria is going to have Jake's baby!" All: *FACEFAULT!* > "What?!" Valeria and Jake both inched back as all the attention >turned to them and big conversation ensued. Jack: That anything like a big band? > "It's gonna be a REALLY long trip..." Alan turned toward the >MSTers while he spoke. "Get me out of this 'fic..." *The fourth wall rumbles loudly* Voice: Oh crap! Where's that button?! Ah, there! *pling!* *The third wall shatters instead. All stare at the space where the wall was. You can see a dressing room of a circus and a red-haired female performer getting into her costume. Her name? Catherine Bloom* Catherine: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! What do you think you're doing?! Go away! *Lucca and Quatre leave the theater. Ramza continues to stare as Jack stands up* Jack: Uh, sorry, miss, but we had a slight problem here. We didn't mean to peek into your... *Notices her pointing at Ramza* Ramza, stop staring and go already! *Ramza reluctantly gets up and leaves* Now, as I was saying... *The reversed door sequence shows before we see Jack finish making amends with Catherine* [SOL] *Quatre stands on the bridge, doing nothing in particular* Lucca's voice: Rudy? Rudy! Where are you?! *Lucca enters stage left* Where _is_ that guy?! Quatre: Sorry, I haven't seen him. Say, do you think anyone can come through that hole in the wall and vice-versa? Lucca: *shrug* Dunno. We've never had the third wall broken before. Grahf once came through the fourth wall before, tho'. *Faint "puff! puff!" sounds come from behing the theater doors* What the...? *Trowa Barton walks in with Puffy on his head* Trowa: That was a strange experience. *Points to Puffy* What is this thing and why was it by the second door? Quatre: T-T-Trowa! *Immediately glomps onto the perplexed Trowa* I've missed you! ^_^ Trowa: *Looks somewhat relieved* So this is where you ended up. I was getting worried. *Pause* Do _you_ know what this thing on my head is? Puffy: Puff! Puffpuffpuff! Lucca: Oh, that's Puffy. I can't tell you what he is or why he seems to have taken a liking to you, however. Trowa: That's OK. It's actually kinda cute. ((_^ Puffy: Puff puff! ^_^ Quatre: So... you'll be here untill the wall gets fixed? Trowa: I guess so... Lucca: *sigh* Well I guess I'll leave you two- Puffy: Puff puff puff! Lucca: Rather, leave you _three_ alone. I still gotta find Rudy. *Exits stage right* *In the SOL game room...* *Zel is still playing a video game. Rudy sits solemnly in a corner* Zelgadiss: *To the TV screen* C'mon and _DIE_ already, stupid machine thingie! Rudy: How many times have I heard _that_ line before...? *sigh* *Lucca's voice can be heard faintly from a distance outside the room* You never saw me, OK? *Leaves the room* Zelgadiss: *Doesn't even look away from his game* Uh-huh, right... ARGH! That thing took out Sharte! Now you _REALLY_ die! Eat GigaGeo DEATH, Ancient Weapon Puppet! *Back on the bridge...* Quatre: ... and that's about it. They're actually quite nice once you get past their... er... interesting little quirks. ^^; Trowa: ... I see... *The red button flashes* Should I get that? Quatre: Sure, if you want to. *Trowa pushes the red button* [E.C.] Klaus: *Looking right at Trowa* So, I see the wall really _did_ get damaged _that_ badly. Oh well, the plot device field should repair that within 24 hours. Deliver a message to Rini, will you? Tell her that I _WILL_ crush her spirit as soon as I can get her in that theater! She will bow before me and beg for my forgiveness, then weep when I refuse to forgive her offenses! AHRAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! [SOL] Trowa: *Nonchalatly* Did anyone ever tell you you sound just like a budget Kefka? *blink*blink* Where did that come from? Quatre: I think it become automatic once one comes here, but I could be wrong. Trowa: ... oh. Puffy: Puff! [E.C.] Klaus: Grr... no matter, you'll be out of my life soon enough. Mala! Push the button! *Mala does so* *FWOOOSH!* *Fade to black* *Roll credits* --------------------------------------------------- The REAL End Comments? E-mail at: lilka@senshi.net Or... or... I'll... uh... just do it, OK? > "Wow...a breakfast stew. You must know how a to make a brunch >stew too." Clive muttered, leaving the kitchen as fast as he had >come, leaving an oblivious Gremio behind. Lookie, shameless plugs! Organized Chaos! (My RPG humor site) http://www.crosswinds.net/~rinichan *~swearing to the sky~* (My Wild Arms shrine) http://www.angelfire.com/wa2/filgaia Season one: ------------------ Episode 101: "Battle of the Strongest" Episode 102: Raging Double Feature ("Wild ARMs Rage" and "Toshinden Rage") Episode 103: "The Cursed Waters" Episode 104: "The Jonathanlizers" Episode 105: "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story" part 1 Episode 106: "The Return of Lord Thinker" Episode 107: "Get Rich Quick" spam. Episode 108: "Don't Freak Out" Episode 109a: "The Price of Redemption" parts 1-3 Xenogears interludes: ------------------------- Episode 109b: "The Price of Redemption" parts 4-5 Episode 201a: "Messila's Journey" part 1 Episode 203: "Ash's New Friend" Episode 206: "Emerald Nights" part 1 Episode 207: "Pokemon Gangbang" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 301f: "Messila's Journey" part 6 Episode 301g: "Messila's Journey" part 7 Episode 305: "An Interesting Twist" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 402j: "Messila's Journey" part 10 Season Two: ---------------- Episode 202: "Why RPGs Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development" Episode 201b: "Messila's Journey" part 2 Episode 201c: "Mesilla's Journey" part 3 Episode 204: "FFVII: The Untold Story" part 2 Episode 205: "Behind the Scenes" Episode 208: "Beloved? Yeah, Right" Season Three: ------------------ *Special!* Episode 300: "The Happy Spell" *Special!* Episode 208b: "Beloved: A Vampire's Tale" Episode 301d: "Messila's Journey" part 4 Episode 301e: "Messila's Journey" part 5 Episode 302: "Decency Patrol #2" Episode 303: "Slayer Arms" part 1 Episode 301h: "Messila's Journey" part 8 Episode 301i: "Messila's Journey" part 9 Episode 304: "Killey" part 1 Season Four: ------------------ Episode 401: Miscellanious Miscellany ("Chick Tract" parody) Episode 403: "Killey" part 2 Episode 404: "Killey" part 3 Episode 405: "Genso Suikoden: Super Stars of Destiny" Episode 406: "Genso Suikoden: Moving On Up" (Part 2 of SSoD) Other MSTings: ------------------ Episode 000: "Rebirth" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 001: Stephen Gohan's letter to the GIA (MSTed with Katana Angel) *Coming soon!* Episode 002: "Cloud Vs. Aeris" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 003 or Fortuna Fanfic Theater 5000 episode 9: "10-chi Returns" (MSTed with DadyTengu)