Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Xenogears is copyrighted by SquareSoft. Hyper and Dak would be owned by one Hyperionius. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; "Pokemon Gangbang" is owned by the the ever-popular Nudemon. No offense is meant by this MSTing. Just think of it as a (hopefully) amusing C&C. Please don't hurt us! ^^;; WARNING! This MSTing is on a LEMON. A Lemon fic is one that depicts sexual acts, if you didn't know before. If you are under 18 or easily offended, turn back while you can! If you think you can handle it, please continue. Chibi's notes: Hoo boy, my first real venture into the Land of Sour Lemons. *sigh* It just _had_ to be Pokeporn to boot. Oh well. This... was not as difficult as I thought it'd be. It could've been worse; any given Pokemon could've been in it... ick. O.o;; Hyperonius's notes: I'm worse off... it's not just my first lemon, but my first MSTing, period! Ugh... I'm being brave, though... I'm taking care of all the Pokémon lemons I can find... God help me. With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ [Citan's house, just after reading "Emerald Nights"] An uneasy silence has overtaken the room. The six "fanfic reviewers" were trying not to get the disembodied voice's notice, lest they be subjected to yet another fanfic. Some weren't even moving out of fear. Citan looked particularly on edge. /Must be related to his disapperance between "Ash's New Friend" and "Emerald Nights",/ most assumed. A good ten minutes had passed before Billy broke the silence. "... you think we're done now?" he said. "I certainly _hope_ so," Citan responded, glancing worriedly around the room as if something or someone was out to get him. "I don't think I can take much more of this today..." "Just one more, dearies!" A collective groan filled the room. Not one more fic! "Oh, don't worry, not all of you have to stay. Emeralda, Bart, aaaaaand... Fei, you can go. And when Yui gets here, you can go too, Maria." That was all the voice had to say before Fei, Bart, and Emeralda made a break for the door before she changed her mind. "TRAITORS! ALL OF YOU!" Billy shouted at the retreating forms. He took his seat once more and well, sulked like a small child. "You act like _you_ wouldn't do the same thing, Billy," Citan chided. Billy answered him with a glare. "Uh, Miss Voice? Why _did_ you let them go?" "So glad you asked, my dear doctor! Bring out Contestant Number One, Hyperonius, Johnny!" A man with short cropped blond hair and blue-gold eyes is thrown through a plot hole. He was wearing a full suit of Blacksteel armor (sans helmet) and was toting a beautiful gold-hilted sword. "And don't forget Contestant Number Two, Dakesous!" A cat-man with tiger fur was thrown though another plot hole. "Let me guess, associates of yours?" Billy said snidely. "Kinda. They're two of the 'fanfic reviewers' of an associate of mine..." She went into her now infamous Naga-esqe laugh, a.k.a. the Evil Bitch Laugh (TM). All those present couldn't help but cringe at the insideous, horrific laugh. "Well, just sit down, kick back, and SUFFER!" The television screen came to life again, starting with some cheesy commercials Instant Plot Device (TM) and such while everyone got to a seat. Then, the story began to play... -------------------------------------------------- Billy: Uh, what were your names again? Hyper: Oh, that's right, we haven't been introduced. I'm Hyper and the cat-guy is Dak. Billy: Well, I'm Billy, this is- Dak: We know. We're familiar with your game. Hyper: That reminds me, why _doesn't_ Fei know you're in a game? Citan: *ahem!* We shall tell you later. Can we just get done with the fic first? Hyper: Oh, OK. > >----------Pokemon Gangbang---------------- >Written by: Nudemon Citan: "_Nude_mon"?! Oh dear... > >This is my own creation of a pokemon lemon. All: O.o;; >If you are under 18 years old, Billy: Well, that includes me and Maria! Let's go! *Billy and Maria start to leave, but...* *ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!* Ow... Voice: _She_ can go; we have a back-up. *A nameless thug throws Yui into the room and Maria runs out the door* _You_ can't, priest boy. Billy: I hate you. Voice: I'm glad. >disgusted with sex, hate Pokemon, Citan: That's me! Bye! *Makes a run for the door, but gets zapped; Mutters* dammit. >stop reading now. Hyper: Oh, how we wish we could... Dak: I just hope there are no actual _Pokemon_ in this... Yui: Uh, who are you two? Hyper I'm Hyper, and that's Dak. It's a long story how we got here; don't ask. > > >------------------------------------------ Billy: And now for XiXi the Amazon Priestess to walk the tightrope! Citan: ... I am not going to ask... > > Ash, Misty, and Brock finally found the perfect place >to camp for the night. Yui (Ash): Who's the guy with the hockey mask? Citan (Misty): You mean the one with the chainsaw or the one with the axe? Dak (Brock): Hey, there's a guy with a "Scream" mask over there! He's waving at us! Hi, serial killer man! *Waves* >Brock of course, prepared a delicous meal for all of them. Citan: Roasted Pikachu! MW'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Billy: *Checks his watch* He's snapping early today... >Tonight,he added a very special spice to the meal. Citan: Clarisage! Billy: No, Dillwhip! All else: ............ ~.~;; >A drug he had saved that makes anyone that ate it very >horny and sex-crazy. Hyper: Shoot me. Shoot me NOW! O.o;; Billy: No, Hyper. If I gotta suffer, so do the rest of you. >He was going to gangbang Misty with Ash, whether they >liked it or not. All: O.o;; Citan: *Takes out his sword* Urge to kill... rising... >Of course, he had to get Pikachu away from them and to do >so, he even got Pikachu inside a pokeball *Billy laughs so hard he falls off the couch* Billy: Oh yeah, like _that's_ gonna happen! BW'HAHAHAHAHA! Hyper: And now Brock can turn on lightbulbs just by holding the metal part. >and told Ash that Pikachu for once, wanted to sleep inside >a pokeball. Ash, not noticing anything, just said okay and Billy: *Getting irritated* But Ash would know something's up! He _KNOWS_ Pikachu _HATES_ being in a Pokeball! ARGH! Yui: Hmm... looks like he's gonna snap first... >started eating. He watched as Misty and Ash ate the entire >meal, not missing anything in site. Hyper: Must have been a lousy web site. *rimshot* ^^;; Yui: We've secretly replaced Ash and Misty with Gourry and Lina; let's see if Brock can tell the difference... > Later that night, Brock waited until the drugs took >effect. Citan: It did and they all _died_, the end. Dak: Can we play Shadow Madness now? Male Voice: The save... THE SAVE! AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGHH!!! Hyper: Looks like the mun snapped again... >At last, he saw Misty wake up and walked to Ash's sleeping >bag. Billy: -with a rusty machette so they could both die and never be in Pokeporn again! *eye twitch* Dak: I think you're right about him snapping first, Yui. >Once there, she slowly unzip Ash's sleeping bag and >started on his pants. Hyper: Odd time to be making him pants... Citan (Slappy Squirrel): I'd watch where you were sewing there... >Through his boxers, Misty began rubbing. Dak: o/~ I'm your genie in a bottle, you gotta rub- o/~ *WHAM!* Yui: BAD KITTY! NO AGUILARA! >Ash finally woke up and being drugged, he got off Billy: Already? *All stare at him* What? Since Bart's not here, _somebody_ had to say it! Dak: Where is he anyway? You know, SilverStreak thinks you two make a cute couple... Billy: Grrrr... Dak: Eh... I'll sit over here now... *Switches with Hyper* Hyper: Um... *WHAM!* Ow! Hey, I didn't say anything! >his sleeping bag and started to take off Misty's shirt >and bra. Ash pushed Misty down onto the ground and starts Citan: -stabbing her with the rusty machette! ^_^ >massaging Misty's small but perky tits. Hyper (Misty's chest; cheerful): Gimme a T! Gimme a A! *WHAM!* Sorry, the fic's getting to me... ^^;; > "More! Give it to me!" cried Misty, Billy: o/~ Give it to me baby/ Ahanh, ahanh!/ And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy... o/~ >starting to pull Ash's boxers down while Ash's took her >short and panties off. >Brock, seeing the chance, walked up to Misty and pushed his Dak: -religious views about premarital sex upon the two. Hyper: _PLEASE_ say Dak's right! For all that's good and sweet in the multiverse! ^^;; >fully erected dick into her ass. All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Hyper: *Commits seppku, but comes back to life* Flippin' immortality... Yui: Remind you of all those yaoi stories, Billy? ^^;; Billy: O.o;; Yui: Billy?! Billy: O.o;; Hyper: Oh my God, the fic killed Billy! Dak: You bastard! >Misty, surprised at the sudden entrance, looked back to >see Brock, madly pumping into her tight ass. Citan: *Trying not to lose it* Funny place to put gasoline... >All that pumping made her moan even louder and start >sucking Ash's dick like crazy. Yui: Until it came OFF! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! *All male reflexively cross their legs and inch away from Yui* Male voice: Hey, Chibi! She stole your laugh!! >Ash, astonished by Misty's sucking, lost his load and >squirted Billy: *Recovering* Squirtle, Water Gun! >his semen into her mouth. Misty kept on sucking and not >a drop left her mouth. Hyper: Uh... "Gala felt pure joy in the palm of his hand"? Yui: That ain't his hand- Citan: YUI! > "Wow!" Citan: Ben Stein, run while you can! >was all Ash could say as he moved into a better position >to pleasure Misty. Billy (Mariache band leader): No, no, is too sexy! Yui (Ash/Antonio Bandaras): But I must! >he moved down between her legs and started licking. Hyper (Tom Servo; irritated): How 'bout I put together a "lick" and a "me" and SEND IT RIGHT OVER! Dak (Mike): Tom, Tom, calm down... >Meanwhile, Brock couldn't stand it much longer as he >ejected Billy: *Computer-like* Ejection failed. [A]bort, [R]etry, [F]ail? Hyper: How'd ya pronounce the brackets, Billy? *Billy just shrugs* >his semen into Misty's asshole. He slowly took it out and >began rubbing her ass. Dak: I'd say something about a donkey, but that's way overused. >Misty turned around and kissed him right on the lips, Billy: o/~ It' a despicable moment/ It's a feeling like this *Point to Citan, who looks like he's about to vomit*/ This kiss, this kiss! o/~ >her hand slowly moving onto his dick. All the while, Yui: -in the Fortress of Solitude... >Ash was slurping up her sweet honey. Billy: Honey Flash! *All look at him oddly* Eheh... *blush* ^^;; Yui: I'dve figured _Bart'd_ be the one familiar with that series... > "You like that, Brock?" said Misty seductively. Citan: *Grasping the hilt of his sword* ......... O.o;; >All Brock could do was nod. The pleasure Misty was >giving him was out of this world. Hyper: It had better not be _our_ world it's on! O.o;; Dak: What, RhyDin? All except Dak and Hyper: ... >Ash, tired licking, decided to get on with it and >slowly entered Misty's virgin cunt. Yui: _WHAT_ did you call it?! Urge to kill... rising... Hyper: Hide! *Scrambles behind the couch. A box falls on him, and fire blasts from the inside* *FWOOOSH!* OWIE! *Scrambles back next to Billy* Male Voice: No more of that... >Suddenly, Ash shove his dick inside her hole, making her >scream in pain and in pleasure. Citan: !! O.o;; *Drop the sword, takes out a paper bag and throws up into the bag* Voice: Wow, and that ain't the worst part! All: !! Dak: Wait... how'd we pronounce two exclaimation marks? Billy: Uh, it's in the laws of Narrative whatchamacallit? >Ash began pumping in and out of Misty's tight hole, Hyper (Hans): I am Hans. Dak (Franz): Und I am Franz. Hyper and Dak (Hans and Franz): Und ve are here to pahmp- *clap* you ahp! >as Misty moan and continues to give Brock the best blow >job she could. Citan: *Has stopped vomitting; mumbles* but that's phyically impossible, since they already... Yui: Nothing's impossible in bad hentai, dear. >Ash and Misty start pumping each other harder, Ash's >balls slam into Misty's butt Yui: And now they're flat on one side, the end. Citan: *urk!* Yui, _please_...! ^^;; >and they both came at the same time. Brock, unable to >last anymore, Billy: -drank his weight in Jack Daniel's and died of alcohol poisoning, the end. Citan: Can I play Alundra now? >came, squirting his come all over her cute face. >After some time, the three got ready to begin again. Citan: !! *Throws up again* Hyper: *!!!* You got another bag, doc? *Without looking up, Citan hands Hyper a paper bag. Hyper then throws up as well* Voice: Two down, three to go! Dak: ...sign of the weak... >This time, Brock got the cunt while Ash pumped her ass. >The two boys continue to pump as Misty came again and >again. Billy (Baby Plucky): Againandagainandagain! *babyish giggle* Dak: That... was disturbing, Billy. Billy: I try my best. ^^ > Suddenly, Ash felt something a dick shove >hard into his own ass. Dak: *Thinking* I wonder... if I call the SPCA, would they help _me_? Hyper: Bleh... if he knows what it is, how can it still be just "something??" >He look back to see James, naked. Yui: Normally, I'd be happy to see him naked, but NOT THIS TIME! O.o;; >"I heard the noise, and I thought I'd help out a little." >said James. Dak: Wait a minute... *The magnitude of the last couple sentences hits him* Uhh... POKéMON YAOI! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Hyper: *Weakly* Thanks, but no thanks... *Resumes puking* >Soon after, Ash came hard into Misty's ass and the chain >started. Billy: o/~ Freedom/ broke the chain... o/~ Yui: ... oog... *Faints* Dak: Uh oh, there went Yui... Billy: It's just you and me left, Dak. Think we can make it? Dak: No, but we'll have to try... >Misty screamed on top of her lungs as she contracted on Billy: -"This Old House"? *rimshot* >Brock's dick and came, coating his dick with her sweet >honey. Billy: *mumbles* dammit, I shouldn't have used the "Cutey Honey" ref so early... >Just when Misty came, Brock also came and the three lay >down. Dak: o/~ Ashes/ Ashes/ We all fall DOWN! o/~ >James, who just got here, wanted some more. Dak and Billy: !! O.o;; Dak: SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME _NOW_!! Billy: Urge to kill... rising... Citan: *Has stopped puking, but is still queasy* Want help? *urk!* >He stared straight at Misty's mouth, imagining how good it >would feel to have one of his rival sucking his dick. Yui: *Comes to* But why would anyone want to suck on Dick Clark? Billy: Even _worse_ mental image...! O.o;; Dak: What do you me- no, never mind, I don't want to know... > James's dick was still hard as he walked to Misty. Hyper: *Has stopped vomiting as well* Uh oh, now we know what he meant by that not being the "worst part"... O.o;; >Misty, even though she was drugged, still know James as >Team Rocket, Hyper: So she stabbed him with the rusty machette! >started be back off. Ash and Brock were too tired to help. >James continue to walked towards Misty. Once he got close >enough, Yui: -Misty kicked him right square in nuts and he cried just like Nancy Kerrigan! *The guys inch away from her* >he grabbed her and yell, "Listen slut, you better do as >i say or i swear, you're gonna be sorry." Misty, too >frighten to fight back, only nod. Yui: *growl* Citan: Yui? Yui: MEGA BRANDO! *The TV explodes* There, now I feel better. ^_^ *The TV magically reappears in one piece, but now part of the story is missing* Dak: Keen... Billy: Wow... Hey, Yui, I think you blasted part of the fic to oblivion! Hyper: Niiice... how'd you do that, anyway? Yui: Beats me. It just came to me all of a sudden. >Finally, they came and left her there. James went back as >Ash, Misty, and Brock all went back to sleep. Dak: And then the serial killers came out of the bushes... Hyper: That, or the man-eating grass of Donaloo. Jasper's voice: HEY!! >The last thing Brock thought was, drugs prevent Ash and Misty from remembering any of those >things> Hyper: Too bad we'll still remember... Billy: ... for the rest of our natural lives... > The next day, Everyone woke up. Ash and Brock >were feeling as good as ever, while Misty feels all sore. Yui: But... James... Ash... he should be... *Yui's head explodes in a shower of cherry blossoms. It quickly reappears in one piece* What the hell was that about?! Citan: Hmm... that should only be able to happen on one of those satellites... >She even complains to the guys, "Man, i don't know what i >did last night, but i'm sure tired!" Billy (Misty): And it took away my ability to use capital "I"'s! >Brock tried not to laugh as Ash offered to rub her back >for her. Little did Misty know what Ash is planning to do. Dak: Billy, I repeat: SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME _NOW_!! *Citan passes out, Yui shrieks, Billy looks catatonic, and Hyper's head explodes in a shower of pyrotechinics. Hyper's head quickly reappears in one piece* Hyper: Wiggy... Dak: Wiggy? Hyper: Yeah, wiggy! Dak: Take his Johnny Bravo AWAY! > > THE END. Dak: WOO HOO! You see that, guys? We made it! *No answer* Guys? Billy: *Not moving or blinking* O.o;; Yui: *Weeping loudly* I... want... my... MOMMY!! WAAAAAAAH! Hyper: *Tearing at his hair* WHY?!? GOD, BUDDHA, ALL OF YOU DEITIES OF VARIOUS RELIGIONS! WHY HAVE WE BEEN TORMENTED LIKE THIS?!? Wait... I am a god. WHY, ME?!? WHY?!?!? Citan: *Unconscious* X.X Dak: Oh... crap... ----------------------------------------------- [Citan's House, a few minutes later...] Doctor Citan Uzuki had finally recovered from his fainting spell. He turned to his wife and mumbled, "... oog... Yui, I had this horrible dream... In it, you, Billy, these two strange people, and myself were forced to read a _horrible_ work of fiction involving Pokemon characters and some stolen Passion Spice from the set of Ranma 1/2..." No sooner had he said this had Dak decided to poke his head out of the kitchen. "I still can't find the Alka-Seltzer or the Pepto- Bismol, Yui!" he exclaimed. "Just keep looking! I know it's in there!" she exclaimed back to the cat-man. Dak then retreated back into the kitchen in search of said medicines. Citan's eyes opened wide upon realizing it _wasn't_ a dream after all. He then did the only thing he _could_ do at that point. He screamed. Loudly, at that. Billy, still dazed by the work of fiction, snapped out of his catatonic-like state. "Huh? What? Where am I? What happened?! Are we done? Did you get to the 'what did we learn today?' bit yet?" he asked, looking around nervously. "You wanna know what I learned?" Hyper asked. "I learned that the ability to type in the wrong hands is a dangerous weapon." Yui the said, "I learned that I can cast spells from 'The Slayers'." Dak called out from the kitchen, "I learned where the Alka-Seltzer is in the Uzuki household!" "Well, um, I learned..." Billy stammered. "Damn, did I learn _anything_ from this?" Citan said nothing. What he did next would be illegal in 50 states and Canada if he had done it to a living being. He drew his sword, faced the TV, and attacked said TV in a berserk frenzy (This phrase brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department, with help from the Duplication Department Department Department.). All just watched the display in stunned silence... --------------------------------------------------------- THE REAL END E-mail comments to Chibi at: Lessa990@aol.com E-mail comments to Hyperonius at: Dakesous Rantoun@aol.com The first one to say bad about us both being on AOL gets to see the Evil Pink Bunnies and/or the man-eating grass of Donaloo. \\|//\\|//\\|// Jasper: AAAH! IT'S HERE!!! No more grass... *cower* Hyper: *cough* OK, I know this may be predictable, but it won't happen again after today. The best line of Nudemon's Pokemon Gangbang was.... *drumroll* > THE END. Hyper: Thank you, and GOODNIGHT! Lookie, a shameless plug! Organized Chaos! http://www.crosswinds.net/~rinichan Chibi's site. MSTings, Captions, and more! Just beware the mascot, he can lead you to strange things... > Suddenly, Ash felt something a dick shove >hard into his own ass.