"I'd sleep forever if it meant I'd never stop dreaming." -Mystina, "Valkyrie Profile" Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Final Fantasy Tactics and Chrono Trigger are copyrighted by SquareSoft. Wild Arms is copyrighted by Media Vision and Contrail. Suikoden 2 is copyrighted by Konami. Trigun is copyrighted by Yasuhiro Nightow, Young King Ours, and Shounen Captain Comics. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; "Killey" is still owned by Alexander Adkins. No offense or bad stuff was intended with this MSTing. No world-jumping Stars of Destiny were harmed in the production of this MSTing (by us). Wannabe villians, on the other hand... Chibi-chan's notes (a.k.a. Other Stuff) Got Valkyrie Profile Got Valkyrie Profile GOT VALKYRIE PROFILE! WAI! ^___^ _FEAR_ Aelia and Jayle, mortals! Oh, and what Rudy and Milly are doing is something vaguely remembered from a play by Moliare, "Tartuffe". Yeah, I can be obscure. With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ (Singer) In the not too distant future, Things are going very mad! That boy Klaus and his regime Are in peril; ain't that sad? Mala-chan was freed, we know that much, Now dear Klaus may be in her clutch, But as a child of Xelloss, who knows? He might have defeated her and reenslaved like su~uch! (Mala-chan: I'll... get... him!!) Now one of them'll send the crew fanfics, The worst they can find! (Lalala!) They'll have to sit and read them all, And they might just lose their minds! (Lalala!) Now keep in mind the crew can't control Where the fanfics begin or end. (Lalala!) To try to keep their sanity, Upon each other they must depend! RIFFER ROLL CALL! Rudy! (Hanako-san!) Rini! (Got the got the funky flow!) Ramza! (This's is the way!) Lucca! (Beloved by Lezard Valeth!) Miiillyyyyyyyyyyy! (Pudding! WAI!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science fact, Just think to yourself, "It's just a file, I should really just relax, For 'Idiotic Fanfic Theater Whatever' *Twang!* [The SOL (Not the Satellite of Love, tho')] *Ramza is visible on the bridge. A CD player playing some odd piece from "Carmen" is next to him. Ramza's expression is that of utter exasperation* Ramza: I should have known trying to teach these lunatics some culture would turn out badly... *The camera turns around and shows the others in chairs. Rini and Milly are sleeping back to back with the chairs under them slipping furthe and further away, Rudy's sleeping with his head on Lucca's bosom with Lucca also sleeping with her head tilted back and an arm around Rudy, and Zelgadiss is playing something on a Game Boy. The camera turns back to Ramza* Why do I even bother...? *The theater door opens behind him as a long-unseen red-haired Lucca clone by the name of Charlotte runs in through it, miraculously carrying Wing Zero's beam cannon over her head. Heero Yuy follows her in* What the hell? *The yellow button flashes* Uh, we'll be back... *Presses button* ----------------------------------------- *Lezard Valeth of Valkyrie Profie stands before a fence of what _would_ be a typical ranch except for instead of livestock, there are many clones of famous ignorant (and not-so-ignorant) sluts roaming about* Lezard: Ever become obsessed with someone to the point of wanting more than one of them? Well then, just come on down to Lezard's Cloning Ranch! We got Valkyries, Heeros, Hikarus, Ashleys, anyone your heart desires for the low, low price of a pair of Lady Valkyrie's panties! And now, one of my satisfied customers! Relena: *Surrounded by shirtless Heero clones* I _LOVE_ Lezard's Cloning Ranch! ^___^ Lezard: Lezard's Cloning Ranch, north of... *Valkyrie appears next to Lezard* Oh, hello, my lady lo- *Valkyrie grabs him by the collar* Ack! Valkyrie: Your sins lay heavy upon you, defiler of souls. How _DARE_ you make other people steal my undergarments for your perverse pleasure! Lezard: Uh... Well... *Tape cuts off* ------------------------------------------ Ramza: And I thought those commercials couldn't get any stranger... *The red button flashes* Hm, the Einherjar are calling... *Presses button* [Evil Centra] *All is dark. An Evil Bitch Laugh (TM) echos in the air* [SOL] *Rini and Milly's chairs finally separate enough to bring them both crashing to the ground with a yelp. The yelp wakes up the other two. Zel still focuses on that Game Boy as Charlotte, still pursued, runs the other way with the beam cannon* Rudy: *yawn* So, anything interesting happen? Ramza: No, but something's about too... look! *Points at the screen* [E.C.] Voice 1: To protect our plans from devastation! Voice 2: To control all people within our nation! Voice 1: To uphold the honor of chaos and insanity! Voice 2: To not let them slip into inanity! Voice 1: *A spotlight is cast on the voice's owner* Marle! Voice 2: *A spotlight is cast on the voice's owner* B-ko! Marle: Team... something! We don't go down without a fight! B-ko: So give up! You know we're right. Xelloss: *Phases in between them; gets a spotlight too* Yare yare, you needn't be so unorignal. ^_^; [SOL] All: O.O;; Rudy: If those two're there, then does that mean...?! [E.C.] *All the lights go on. Mala-chan is shown standing proudly and bitch-laughing. Around her wrist is the end of a leash* Mala-chan: It's so _GOOD_ to be back! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OHO! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! [SOL] *Charlotte runs past again, still with Heero chasing her* Ramza: Are you responsible for that? *Indicates the chase* [E.C.] Mala-chan: Unfortunately, no. My would-be replacement made a mess of things upon my revolution. He has made seemingly permanent six doors to that boy's dimension, and well as... other things. [SOL] Ramza: Other things? [E.C.] Mala-chan: It is no matter. Now, I shall have to give you a fic to keep you busy as I try to regain your fellow crew member from a certain jiggling juggernaut. The fic is "Killey", part 4. Enjoy! ^_^ *Pushes send button herself* [SOL] *The light flash and klaxons go off* Rudy: _Lovely_, now WE GOT KILLEY SIGN! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically. Door 5: It's Sunny Funny! She does nothing, so you just go past her. Door 4: It's Loyal Minion Dom! You giggle at his attire and move on. Door 3: It's your normal run-of-the-mill drawbridge. It falls out towards you, barely missing you. Door 2: Who's that Pokedoor? It's Charizard! (Charizard: CHAR!) Door 1: It's a wall. Tinkerbelle comes, waves her wand, and an opening appears. Seating (L-R): Ramza, Rini, Rudy, Lucca, Milly* Ramza: "Other things"... that prospect still unsettles me. Rini: Me too, but can't let her know that. >Killey >Chapter 3: The Things that should not be… Rudy: Pauly Shore movies? >Location: Some where in the Tinto region. > “What is this Zohar?” Killey said. He brought his >arms up to block the intense light. Lucca: Killey's the _CONTACT_?! > “I have looked into your mind and soul and I have >seen to it that you get what you need.” Milly (Zohar): Which is... A BRAND-NEW CAR! ^_^ >Zohar said from >behind Killey. “The path to your dreams start here.” Lucca: Whoa, I'm getting Alundra flashbacks... Citan's voice: Did someone mention Alundra and flashbacks? ^_^ Milly: Ano... nani? Rini: Running gag; don't ask. > “Ugh…” Killey reeled from the light. His eyes >slowly adjusted to the light and he realized that the >pillar he was standing on was surrounded by a firestorm! Lucca: And now he's in Midgard and has annoyed Gelanda. Where next, Energy Nede? >The flames were huge! It was like he was in the middle >of the sun…but it wasn’t really that hot. Ramza: Hmph, next thing he's gonna tell us that it's _snowing_. > “What is this? It looks like I’m in the middle of >hell!” Killey said. Milly (Sadaam Hussein): Heeeeeeey, Satan! Rini: Don't. That's just... creepy coming from you. > “Hell? Only if your soul is consumed by evil. This >is the Soul Forge. Rudy (Zohar): We, uh, forge souls and stuff here. Yeah... >Enter the flames and it will create >what you need to begin your quest.” Rini (Zohar/Chop-Chop Master Onion): But first, you must challenge my rap! >Zohar said. His voice >had become strangely more powerful and echoing, much like >if god spoke to you. Rudy: Or if he were using the Reverb tool you get from Teriyaki Yoko, whatever. > Killey slowly stepped to the edge of the pillar. Lucca (Tim Rhymeless): Get... off... of... ME!! >Flinching back from the flames, he hesitated to enter >them. I can’t believe I’m doing this! Milly (Killey): I can't believe it's not butter... spray! >This fire has got >to be illusion or something. What if, what if this Zohar >is trying to kill me? Ramza: We can only hope... >Killey thought. He paused in silence. >No, if Zohar wanted me dead, I would have been long ago. Ramza: Well, damn. Rini: Zohar still might be a sick psychopath who's just _playing_ with Killey before he kills him. Ramza: Ah, thanks for trying, but it doesn't seem like that'll happen... >He must be speaking the truth. Besides, this might be my >only way to find the truth about the Sindar…and for my >Lorelai to return to me. Milly: o/~ Briiiii~ing back,/ Briiiii~ing back,/ Bring back my Lorelai to me, to me! o/~ > Killey closed his eyes and stepped forward. Lucca (Claude): Advance forward! > What Killey felt next would be most accurately >described as being tied underneath an Apollo rocket and >being dragged along for the ride. Rini: It's _EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEME_! Milly (Killey): WHOOOOO! >The noise, the light, >the vibration was almost too much for him. Rudy: "When Disco Attacks!" next on Fox! >He almost >vomited from it all. The fire burned away everything he >was carrying on him. Ramza: ... just _one_ chorus of "Disco Inferno" and someone gets smited. >His cloths, his bags, even all of the >metal he was carrying was consumed by the flames. His (now >nude) body was unharmed by the fire. Rudy: Killey... nude?! *Pulls bandanna over his eyes* Tell me when he's clothed again. Lucca: Oh, don't be such a _baby_ about it, Rudy! *Tries to pull his bandanna back up, but he holds it in place* >In fact he felt the >temperature was quite comfortable even in his all together. Milly: *Confused* His what? Rini: I'm guessing it's supposed to mean his "birthday suit"... Rudy: *Covering his ears* I'm not listening! o/~ Mysterious Tokyo!/ Take it easy Dangerous night... o/~ > Just as sudden as this chaos started, Ramza: *Gleefully* -Killy EXPLODE! ^_^ Voice: No, Crosswinds deleted the "chaos" on accident. *grumble* Rini: Bitter, boss? Voice: Quite. >it ended just >as quick. Killey found himself floating in a open zone >within the flames. Ramza (Killey): Oh, hi, Brunhilde. Rini (Killey): *At the same time as Ramza* Hiya, Gabrielle! Since you won't be needing this Nibelheim Ring... *Looks at Ramza; pause* Huh? Ramza: *Mutters* Uncultured peon. -_-;; >It was utterly silent. Lucca: Unknowingly, he had stumbled upon a meeting of RPG main characters. *Yanks Rudy's bandanna off before he can grab onto it, then sits on the bandanna* There, now you can't hide your eyes from the fic. >He didn’t have >to squint anymore to see for the light levels went down >to a tolerable level. “What’s going on? Now where am I?” >he said. *Ryouga enters through the door in the third wall. All stare at him* Ryouga: *Blinks* Well, that Trowa guy wasn't any help... *Exits through the other door in the fourth wall* Rudy: Another pointless cameo. _Wonderful_. -_-; > Two tendrils of flame broke off from the wall of the >area and merged together into one flame that hovered in >front of him. Milly (Zohar/flame): Whatever you do, don't pay attention to the Sindar behind the curtain... >The flame condensed and formed into a woman’s >body made of flame. Ramza: You could say she was very "hot". *rimshot* *WHAP!* Well, if I didn't say it, someone else would've! >Its features were mostly non-distinct >but it was beautiful none the less. Rudy (Killey): Der, pritty... *Reaches out, then pulls his hand back quickly* OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOOOW!! Lucca (fire lady): Serves you right, pervert. Rini: *Looks ahead* *ahem* And now we present "Killey" as interpreted by Yakko Warner. *Gestures to Milly* >It spoke in a caring >feminine voice, saying “Your hate is great, but your love >is even greater, your soul is strong and your will is even >more.” Milly (Yakko): You're a bad enough dude to rescue the president. >Clasping her hands together, she smiled at Killey. >“Even though I am made of fire, my light is a pale as the >stars at night to the light in your heart.” Milly (Yakko): You're almost out of firewood. Go get some. > The fire woman condensed into two bright points of >lights. Killey reached out and grabbed the lights, one in >each hand. Rini (Killey): Yoink! ^_^ >He felt the incredible power within his hands >and that power was shifting. *Lucca opens her mouth to speak* Rudy: Lucca, if you care anything about me, please don't say what I _think_ you're about to say... *Lucca shuts her mouth* Thank you. >The lights changed into sword >pommel like handles. “So what are you going to be?” Milly (lights): We're gonna be firemen! ^_^ >Killey >fully expected it to form into two swords of some type, Ramza (Musashi): Hey, I thought of it first! >but >the pommel formed like a set of brass knuckles and the >blades formed out from his fists instead from the top like >a normal sword. Rini: I _have_ a Voltron comment, I really do, but... Rudy: Blanking on it, huh? *Rini nods* > “This! This looks like a pair of Katar daggers. I’ve >seen these before but not this big!” Killey said. Ramza: Thus, they were too heavy and the sudden shift in weight made Killey fall flat on his face. >[Author’s note: A Katar is an ancient India weapon. It was >constructed to be a sizeable punch dagger. Rini: ... damn it, already used a Chop-Chop Master Onion ref. >.< >Instead of >having to use it in the normal way a dagger would be use >(and it can still be used like that too) it can use the >direct power of punch to drive it’s way though armor and >some body’s ribs. Rini: *!!* *Mooselini* So you~ Lucca (Elly): NO! I don't want to take the Drive! Rini: ... you interrupted my gag. Now you are _so_ totally gonna die. *Summons really big mallet, but finds herself face to muzzle with an ARM* On second thought... >I believe that it was mostly a close range >desperation weapon. I would also guess assassins used them >too.] Ramza (10 O' Clock Assassin): Note... to... self... put Katars... in... next... fic... *WHAM!* > The blades grew in length to be around 3 ½ foot long >and 10 inches in width at its base. Rini: *cough*compensation*cough* Lucca: *cough*pagingdoctorfreud*cough* >The blades shifted to >become triangular in shape and double bladed. Lucca: So basically, he's just turned into Ashton Anchors except with his swords stuck to his fists. Rini: o/~ And all the fangirls say Killey's yaoi~ o/~ *Notices an ARM at her head* Er, never mind. >They felt so >perfect for him. Milly (Yolei/Killey): PERFECTO! ^_^ >But he didn’t feel like this was enough, >like he was missing something, namely his cloths. Rudy: Thanks for the reminder. *Takes off Lucca's helmet and put it on his head backwards so he doesn't have to look at the screen* Lucca: *sweatdrop* You never give up, do you? -_-;; Rudy: *Raises helmet enough so his voice will come out clear* Well, would you expect any less from the Caller of Zephyr? ^_^ >The >firewall in front of him condensed and swelled into a dome. Milly: Are you ready for some FOOTBAAAAAAAAALL?! >A chunk of the firewall broke off and formed Rini: -BLAZING SWORD! >into a shape >that of a man, much like the fire lady just a few moments >ago. Ramza (Killey; smooth): Well, hello there. What's a nice flame man like you doing in a place like this~ *WHAM!* Rini: Ramza, _no_. Just _no_, OK? > It spoke in a masculine voice that was filled with Milly: Nougat! >hate. Rini (fire dude/Ryouga): RAAAAAAAAAAAANMAAAAAAAAAA! >“Your anger unquenchable. It burns like the fires in >the abyss. Milly (Yakko): You need an ice cold glass of water, pronto! >It was born so long ago, and it still grows. *Lucca breaks out into hysterical giggles* Milly (Yakko): I'm HUGE! >I >know that you want to kill them all. Rini (Killey): I am the Shinigami! The Ultimate Macho Man! Rudy: That's a disturbing concept right there... >You want your revenge >on all those who have wrong you in your life. Is it not >your right to have justice?” Milly (Yakko): They may take out lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM! >He closes his fists and >slammed them together. He smiled, but it is not a smile of >humor, but of cruel intentions. Rini: o/~ It's just a cruel (Cruel!),/ Cruel intention... o/~ *WHAM!* Lucca: Bad Rini! No Bananarama! >.<;; > The man of fire condensed into a single point and >formed into a rune crystal. Milly: Folger's rune crystals! For that magical touch in the morning! ^_^ >Killey was baffled by the symbol >inside of it. “What rune are you? I have never seen your type >before!” he said. Rini (Pokedex): Rune of Mysterious Fire: No one knows what it does, but neither does anyone _care_. > The rune crystal flew to him and merged into his right >hand. Lucca (fire dude): We are Rune. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. >The bonding process was quick and flawless, but it >sent a shock wave though his system. Lucca: That'll teach him to piss off Lucian. Ramza: And then Killey died a painful death, the end. Can we go now? Voice: Hold your horses, noble boy. Only about five pages to go... >“AUGH! The POWER! My >blood feels like it’s on FIRE!” Killey doubled from the pain. *A Wild Arms-like window appears over the Killey in the fic. It reads, "Asexual Reproduction"* >His vision changed, burred so that all he could see is red. Lucca: Judecca?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Rudy: *Takes off the helmet* Judecca?! _Excuse_ me?!? Rini: Yoink! *Takes the helmet away from Rudy* Rudy: *To Rini* I don't like you. Rini: I'm glad. ^_^ >The memories of those Amazon troops taking him away from his >family, the old mistresses that beat him and abused him. Rudy (Killey): Eheh, I kinda enjoyed that last part. ^^ Rini: .................. *Thwaps Rudy* >But >the final straw, the final memory that pushed him over the >edge was when Lorelai turned her back to him and walked away. Milly: o/~ These boots were made for walkin',/ And that's just what they'll do!/ One of these days these boots are gonna/ Walk all over you! o/~ > “Yes, I feel you now. I must, I must…” Killey said. Ramza (Killey): I must... eat half a strawberry cheesecake at three o' clock in the morning! >Absolute rage was taking over his mind. He fought the anger >down, and shoved it down into somewhere in his mind and the >lid was closed. Rini (Parappa): Ah... This is life! *flush!* >“No, I must not let it control me. I must >control my anger!” He muttered. Ramza: He's mad as hell and he's gonna take it some more! > Killey was left shuddering from the emotional over load >he just felt. Zohar appeared in front of the weakened Killey. Ramza: He then put Killey in a gasoline thong... >“You have surprised me Killey. You instantly bonded to your >weapon as I guessed you would. But you mastered the control >over your new rune quicker than I guessed you would have.” Rini: Killey had MAD SKILLZ?! >Zohar said. “My work here is done for now. Go and sleep in an >inn or some where. Lucca (Zohar): Like, you know, the usual RPG healing place and stuff... >You need to rest and recover for awhile as >your body adjusts to your new rune. I can also hazard a guess >that you also need some time to think about your new spot in >life.” Milly (Davis/Killey): All that information makes my brain hurt! > With that, Zohar waved his hand and Killey vanished. *All wave little flags* All: *Blandly* Yaaaaaay. > Now that Killey is gone the flames of the Soul Forge dies >down and goes out. Leaving everything unharmed in the large pit >room. Rini: And leaving. A dependant clause detached from the sentence. >Zohar floated over to the pillar and landed on it. He >collapsed down to his hands and knees. “Achika, come here.” Rudy: What the _hell_ is Tenchi's mom doin' there?! > A doorway though time and space opens up and an exotic >woman stepped though. Rudy: Tessiri-sama? ^_^ Lucca: *Sweatdrops; mutters* Sheesh, you're pathetic... >She stood at 8’6” of muscular frame and >yet quite curvy body. Rudy: Tessiri-sama grew bigger? O_o; >Her long purple hair reached down the >middle of her back. Lucca: It's Teepo-chan! Rini (Teepo-chan): You see, Rei, Ryu, it's all Saotome's fault... >Her skin was the color of pure gold. Rini: o/~ Money, money, money, is all you ne~ed... o/~ Milly (Scrooge McDuck): Aye, she'd be a fine addition to me money bin... >She >stretched out the pair of draconic wings on her back and >strained out her reptilian tail as she stretched and yawned, >flashing some of her sharp teeth. Ramza (dragon chick): Now commences the biting of the tushies! Milly (Zohar): Don't be veird girl. Rini: "Road Rovers", Ramza? Ramza: You people are a bad influence on me. -_-;; >“Do you now what time it is? >A lady has to have her beauty sleep you know…” Achika said. Rudy: I think you look just fine now. ^_^ *Gets elbowed by Lucca* OW! Lucca: Watch it, punk. Rudy: Why? How is it fair that _you_ get to look, hell, even hang off of, other guys, whereas I make one comment and get hit for it?! Lucca: Because I'm cute. ^.^ Rudy: I'm cute too, dammit! >.<; Rini: *Shakes her head* Those two... oy vey. >She blinked her cat like eyes and realized what happen to >Zohar. “MASTER! What happened to you?” Milly (Zohar): Rikishi... Haku... double-teamed me... >She said. She rushed to >his side and helped him up to his feet. Ramza: Unfortunately for her, his feet were atop Tokyo Tower. > “I just finished equipping our new avatar. Lucca (Zohar): Whips, chains, salad tongs, a towel he can throw away when he's done... you know, the usual. >The process >has tired me greatly. I have sent him out to rest and recover. Ramza (Zohar): Although he won't be able to sit down without wincing for a week... ^_^ Rudy: *Covering his ears* I am _not_ listening to that! o/~ You said you wanted to see Paris,/ So I took you to the movies... o/~ >So go and watch over him until I can get back to him.” Lucca (Citan/Achika): As you wish, my liege... >Zohar >said. “Please you must rest as well master Zohar.” Achika said. >She looked so concerned for him. Rudy: She was worried she wouldn't get her paycheck if he died. >“I can not, my son is heading >for depot 447b to get a new suit of armor and a new weapon. I, >I have to see him one last time.” Rini (Zohar): You see, the little bastard has my car keys. >He said. Achika blinked in >surprise. “You mean Pesmerga? I thought he was just a hybrid >test subject to you.” She said. Rini: He got him on discount from the Elw? *WHACK!* My, aren't _you_ touchy, Roughnight? Lucca: *Mutters* Not as touchy as I'd like... Damn shy boy. > Zohar turned to look at her with his pale blue glowing >eyes. Ramza: CLOUD?! DIE! *Begins spell incantation* Rini: Oh... bugger... *Flees to the back of the theater. The other decide that's a wise idea and do the same* Ramza: ULTIMA!! *Takes out the first three rows of chairs and the screen. The screen repairs itself, the chairs don't. The others come back and take seats in the first non-broken row* >“He is. But he holds a part of MY genes you should know. >He IS my son Achika. I wish I could have raised him better, but >he must not know about me or anyone of the Sindar yet. It’s >that part hurts me more than anyone can know.” Ramza (Zohar): Fortunately, I like being hurt. ^_^ *WHAM!* Rini: Enough innuendo about Zohar already. -_-; >He paused to >shake his head a bit. “Now that Killey is getting ready to take >on Nemesis Lucca: And now we're in Raccoon City. This has more world- jumping than a season of Sliders. >and her crew, they may kill Pesmerga if she finds >him. I myself may fall to her as well if Killey fails. *All hum a funeral march* >This is >why I am commanding you to over see Killey’s training for what >is to come.” He said. Rini: Ramza, _NO_. Lucca, _NO_ as well. *Summons mallet* Ramza and Lucca: ................. > Achika’s tail went strait up, ridged in surprise. “Why >thank you master for having such high faith in me, but I don’t >know what exactly to do with him.” Ramza: I can advise you. ^_^ *WHAP!* Rini: No, you _can't_. >.<; >“Don’t worry, I’ll give you >directions and so forth. But you will handle the day to day >things. I will have many things to take care of.” Zohar said. Milly (Zohar): Like my goldfish Bubba and my sentient onion Peco. > “I guess I’ll have to pack my bags now.” Achika said. “Yes, >and before you say anything, you can take your take your teddy >bear too.” He said. Rini and Lucca: -_-;; Rudy: What are you "-_-;;"ing about, Lucca? You have your plushie Wing Gundam- *WHAP!* Lucca: Ix-nay about the ing-Way ushie-play! Upid-stay! >She giggled like a kid. “I know this is a >lot of responsibility, but you are still a teenager and I have >to be a ‘bit’ flexible.” He chuckled and reached out to ruffle >up her hair and she playfully fended off the attempt. Rini: *Chanting* WA-TAK! WA-TAK! WA-TAK! Ramza: *Thinking* Rini's scary... >“Now get >going Achika. Let him rest for a bit then contact him. I’ll >inform you from there.” “Yes master!” Lucca: You know, this reminds me of an old Suikoden guideline... Rini: Oh? What is it? Lucca: "Never name McDohl 'Bater'." Rini: "Never name"... *!!* Oh! Oh my... >Another doorway in space >opened and she stepped though it and it vanished as soon as she >cleared it. Jack and Cecilia's voices: De La Metallica?! ARGH!! Rudy: Huh? Did I miss that somehow? > “Pesmerga, my son. If you knew the truth, would you have >forgiven me?” Lucca (Delita): Pesmerga, what did you get...? Ramza: ... now why does that sound familiar...? > Killey landed hard in an over grown clump of grass. “OUCH! >Son of a…Now where am I?” he said. Rini (Killey): Stupid Riruka and her ineptness with Teleport Gems... Voice: RIRUKA-CHAN IS NOT STUPID! Marina's the stupid one! Marina must DIE!! Ashley/Riruka FOREVER!! Rini: *sweatdrops; sighs* Boss, for a game you weren't as fond of as the original, you sure are a fangirl... >He looked around and saw that >he landed next to a road leading into a village on a mountainside. Lucca: Nibelheim?! _Another_ world jump?! Rini: Uh, Nibelheim's at the foot of some mountains... Lucca: Close enough. >The city was rather large and comparing the local landscape to >the badlands, this place was a notch or two more lush than the >badlands. Well, if you can call scraggly trees, tumbleweeds and >cacti lush. Rudy: You would if they were all drunks. Rini: Unbelievable. Your wordplays are actually worse than the boss's. -_-; > He checked himself out and realized that he’s fully clothed >again. Rudy: Finally! Can I have my bandanna back now? Lucca: Later. >The old red jacket and hat of his was back and completely >clean, just like they where brand new. However his body felt >different than that. Milly: He felt like chicken tonight! >Killey rapped Rudy (Killey): They call me "Cowboy", bad ass in black! Milly: But you're both wearing red... Rudy: *sigh* Never mind, Milly. >his arms around himself as he >felt a wave of discomforting power pass over him. Rini: Must... resist... fart joke... >.< >“Ohhhh, I don’t >feel so good. I should head for the inn some where. Hopefully >it’ll pass.” Rudy (Godai): What about your ass? Lucca (Kyoko): I _SAID_ "A CLASS TO PASS"!! > As Killey stood up, he realized that those blades that >formed for him were in sheaths, one on each side of his hips. He >touched their pommels and heard a voice in his head. Ramza (voice): Now you must set the house on fire... Rini (voice): The ring?! I found that ring in a Cracker Jack box! Rudy (voice): My name is Legato Bluesummers... Lucca (voice): What are you doing? You don't belong here... Milly (voice): o/~ I want chicken,/ I want liver,/ Meow Mix, Meow Mix,/ Please deliver... o/~ >“Use me >with your passion.” Was what it said. Ramza: Yow. That's a little _too_ kinky for my tastes... O.o;; >It sounded exactly what >that fire woman sounded like. Rini (Tsuneo): "It was the fire woman's voice." > On a hunch, he took off his gloves on his right hand was a >strange rune tattoo. The symbol was just like what he saw in >that rune crystal that merged with him. Milly (Killey): A bull with an eyebrow arched? The heck? >Another voice spoke up >and said. “Use me with your anger.” Rudy: If that's not _begging_ for a "WA-TAK!" line, I don't know _what_ is. Rini: *Reads ahead; in a TK voice* Wow, look at this man of fire! >The voice was just like >that man of fire. Rudy: You enjoy setting up lines like that, don't you? Rini: Hee! ^_^ > “I wasn’t dreaming it all up was I then? If I’m not dreaming, >then Lorelai…” Ramza (Killey): -is waiting for me naked with Valeria- *WHAP!* >He mumbled. A wild grin cracked his face as he >started to laugh. “I’ll will have you back my beloved! I swear I >will! Lucca (Marina): And then, I'll still have your place saved for you... *ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!* owie... Voice: Sorry, Lucca, but that had to be done for the principle of the thing. >But I will have to figure out to use my new gear though.” Wufei's voice: And now they give that weakling a mecha _TOO_?! INJUSTICE! Rini: Huh? Voice: Don't ask. >Looking around, Killey found his bags and he shouldered them. “A >bed to sleep in an something to eat would sound good right now.” Rudy: Unfortunately, Lina and Gourry were in town and beat out Killey to the available food in the area. > Killey started walking to the city with the best feeling >he has felt in years. All of what he suffered though will pay off. Milly (Killey): I _knew_ all those charges on my credit card would pay off someday! >He was so happy that he didn’t notice the shadow of a draconic >winged woman flying around him, high in the sky. Rudy: Everyone else did, tho'. Rini (random NPC): ACK! Flee the city! It's Achizilla! *All exit* *Reverse door sequence* [SOL] *Rudy and Milly are on the bridge. Both are in vaguely Renaissance-style dresses* Rudy: *Mutters* I feel stupid in this... *In a character; to Milly* No, you deserve to be Tartuffified! Milly: *Pretends to be on the verge of tears* Fine, then despair will be my friend and guide! *The theater doors open. Duo Maxwell steps out* Duo: Say, I head about Klaus. So, who won the... *Looks Rudy up and down* Who are _you_ supposed to be? *snicker* Rudy: I don't like you; you know that? Ramza: *Steps into view* Your timing's not that good, Duo. I was just _finally_ getting to them and now you ruin everything! My plans to cultrue them a little... POOF! Gone! *Duo sweatdrops. The red button flashes* Duo: Cool, now I can get the answer from the source! *Presses button* [E.C.] Mala-chan: *Tugs on the leash* Come _on_, you miserable punk! Get over here! *Despite all resistance, the person at the end of the leash is pulled on screen. It's Klaus, as if you didn't see it coming. He has minor cuts and bruises all over his body, which is made clearly visible since he is only in his underpants* Klaus: This isn't fair! I never made you do anything particularly humiliating when you were under _my_ control! *Mala slaps him* Mala-chan: Quiet, you wretch! [SOL] Duo: "Boy-toy", eh? Looks like Lucca won the poll... [E.C.] Xelloss: *Phases in, yanks leash from Mala's clutches* Now, now, I can't have you treating pack kin like this unless he enjoys it. *dangerous smile* Mala-chan: Huh?! "Pack kin"?!? Xelloss: As much as I would like to see this boy run ragged, it is against my mistress's policy to let you treat him this way unless, as I said, he wishes it. So, if you don't mind, my mistress would like to see him. *Takes hold of Klaus and phases out with him* [SOL] Duo: *Grins madly* YES! I won! I won! I WON! *Charlotte runs past again chased by Heero. This time, however, Duo grabs and hugs Heero, pulls away, and starts dancing with the confused guy* I won, buddy, I WON! Now I can replace that CD of yours I broke! ^___^ Heero: ... you mean... my Donkey Madness EX Plus Alpha one? Duo: I can get you three of them with how much I won! ^___^ Heero: *Pause; then starts dancing with him* You won! You won! You won! Ramza: *sweatdrop* Someone down there press the damn button already. -_-;; *FWOOOSH!* *Fade to black* *Roll credits* --------------------------------------------------- The REAL End Comments? E-mail at: lessa990@aol.com Or I send a mentally unstable Quatre... >But he didn’t feel like this was enough, >like he was missing something, namely his cloths. Lookie, shameless plugs! Organized Chaos! (My RPG humor site) http://spoonybard.nu/chaos *~swearing to the sky~* (My Wild Arms shrine) http://www.angelfire.com/wa2/filgaia Season one: ------------------ Episode 101: "Battle of the Strongest" Episode 102: Raging Double Feature ("Wild ARMs Rage" and "Toshinden Rage") Episode 103: "The Cursed Waters" Episode 104: "The Jonathanlizers" Episode 105: "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story" part 1 Episode 106: "The Return of Lord Thinker" Episode 107: "Get Rich Quick" spam. Episode 108: "Don't Freak Out" Episode 109a: "The Price of Redemption" parts 1-3 Season Two: ---------------- Episode 202: "Why RPGs Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development" Episode 201b: "Messila's Journey" part 2 Episode 201c: "Mesilla's Journey" part 3 Episode 204: "FFVII: The Untold Story" part 2 Episode 205: "Behind the Scenes" Episode 208: "Beloved? Yeah, Right" Season Three: ------------------ *Special!* Episode 300: "The Happy Spell" *Special!* Episode 208b: "Beloved: A Vampire's Tale" Episode 301d: "Messila's Journey" part 4 Episode 301e: "Messila's Journey" part 5 Episode 302: "Decency Patrol #2" Episode 303: "Slayer Arms" part 1 Episode 301h: "Messila's Journey" part 8 Episode 301i: "Messila's Journey" part 9 Episode 304: "Killey" part 1 Season Four: ------------------ *Special!* Episode 400: "Crystal Rainbows" part 1 Episode 401: Miscellanious Miscellany ("Chick Tract" parody) Episode 403: "Killey" part 2 Episode 404: "Killey" part 3 Episode 405: "Genso Suikoden: Super Stars of Destiny" Episode 406: "Genso Suikoden: Moving On Up" (Part 2 of SSoD) Episode 407l: "Messila's Journey" part 12 Episode 408: "Slayer Arms" part 2 Episode 409: "Genso Suikoden: Super Stars of Destiny" part 3 Episode 407m: "Messila's Journey" part 13 Season Five: ------------------ Episode 501: "Killey" part 4 Xenogears interludes: ------------------------- Episode 109b: "The Price of Redemption" parts 4-5 Episode 201a: "Messila's Journey" part 1 Episode 203: "Ash's New Friend" Episode 206: "Emerald Nights" part 1 Episode 207: "Pokemon Gangbang" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 301f: "Messila's Journey" part 6 Episode 301g: "Messila's Journey" part 7 Episode 305: "An Interesting Twist" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 402j: "Messila's Journey" part 10 Episode 402k: "Messila's Journey" part 11 Other MSTings: ------------------ Episode 000: "Rebirth" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 001: Stephen Gohan's letter to the GIA (MSTed with Katana Angel) Episode 003 or Fortuna Fanfic Theater 5000 episode 9: "10-chi Returns" (MSTed with DadyTengu)