"I'll follow you anywhere, Vinsfeld! My needs are met when I'm with you!" -Judecca, taken waaaay out of context in "Wild ARMs 2nd Ignition" ^_^ Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Final Fantasy Tactics and Chrono Trigger are copyrighted by SquareSoft. Suikoden 2 is copyrighted by Konami. Wild ARMs is copyrighted by Media Vision or Contrail, the latter being the newer name for the company. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; "Killey" is still owned by the ever-lovable Alexander Adkins. No offense or bad stuff was intinede with this MSTing. No goofy Metal Demons were harmed in the production of this MSTing. One Vash the Stampede-worshipping *spoiler deleted* _was_, however. Allow me to point and laugh at his pain. AAAAH~HAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *Dodges gunfire* OK, OK sheesh! I'll stop that, OK?! Chibi-chan's notes (a.k.a. Other Stuff) I have one more thing to say about WA2. It is very, very addictive. Help me stop playing it, please? I still gotta beat FFV (Butz-head and Bueller-hime! ^_^) and FFVIII (Booyaka!)... With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ (Singer) In the not too distant future, (Methinks it was next Thursday) A bunch of poor suckers Have some hell to pay! A group of evil people, led by Mala-chan, They were bored one day, so they dreamed up a plan. They choose some people they didn't like, Then they sent those poor victims into space and- *B-ko cackles* (Mala-chan) We'll send them crappy fanfics, As many as we can find! (Lalala!) (Marle) They'll have to sit and read them all! (Xelloss) And they'll slowly lose their minds! ^_^ (Lalala!) (Singer) Now keep in mind they can't control Where the fanfics begin or end. (Lalala!) To try to keep their sanity, Upon each other they must depend! RIFFER ROLL CALL! Rudy! (LOVE AND PEACE!) Rini! ("V" for victory, sucka!) Klaus! (No cuttin' corners!) Lucca! (I got MAD SKILLZ!) Jaaaaaaaaaack! (SPOOOOOOON!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science fact, Just think to yourself, "It's just a file, I should really just relax, For 'Idiotic Fanfic Theater Whatever' *Twang!* [The SOL (Not the Satellite of Love, tho')] *The only thing on the bridge is a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Goldie of Gunsmith Cats fame. A gunshot rings out and a convieniently placed butterfly net lands over the cutout's "head". A familiar figure in a long red coat and John Lennon-seque sunglasses appears. Vash the Stampede? Try again. It's...* Rudy: Now, Goldie, repeat after me... This land... Is made of... LOVE AND PEACE! *victory sign* ^_^ Jack: *Causally strolls onto the bridge* Rudy, what the hell are you doing? Rudy: !!!!!!!!!!!! O.O;;; *Blushes furiously, then runs away with the cardboard cut-out* Jack: *To the audience; shaking his head* I tell ya, the boy's not all there half the time. Hanpan: *Hops out of Jack's pocket and goes over to the yellow button* We'll be right back. *Pushes yellow button* ------------------------------------------------------ *In a Dunkin' Donuts somewhere...* Meryl: *Dressed as an employee* OK, this is the last time that guy gets to eat all the doughnuts I try to give Vash. *deep breath* Time to make Vash doughnuts! *Goes to work making doughnuts* Milly: *Ditto* Um, sempai, I think... Meryl: No time to think! He might be tearing up another town as we speak and can't do anything to stop it! Now c'mere and help me with the doughnuts. Milly: *sigh* Yes, sempai... *Goes to work making doughnuts as well* Announcer: Dunkin' Donuts, where the doughnuts are fresh and the workers are oblivious to Vash the Stampede's identity. Meryl: *To the announcer* You know what he looks like?! Announcer: Er... --------------------- Jack: You know, I always wondered how those two were able to get so many doughnuts in so little time... Hanpan: *lightbulb* Hey, you don't think Rudy earlier was...? Jack: "Rudy the Stampede"? Could be... Hanpan: *Snickers* Maybe he'll change Vash's little motto to suit Filgaia better. ^^ Jack: I can just see him saying, *Rudy as Vash* "LOVE, COURAGE, AND HOPE!" ^^ *Chuckles* Rudy's voice: *Just off-stage* Can we just change the subject over there already?! *The red button flashes* Jack: Guess we have to, the Odessa Cocytus is calling. *Presses the button* [Evil Central] Marle: I call Caina! B-ko: I get to be Judecca! ^_^ Xelloss: No way! _I_ get to be Judecca! ^_^ B-ko: Me! Xelloss: ME! ^_^; B-ko: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Xelloss: MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEE! ME! ^_^;; Mala-chan: *Summons mallet. It grows larger with each word she says...* Super Delicious Ultra Great Atomic Golden Bird Holy Flower Dragon Tooth Glory Ueber Mallet-sama EX Plus Alpha Championship Edition Turbo The Second Silver Star Story Ignition Complete STRIKE! *Brings the now-gigantic mallet down on B-ko and Xelloss's heads. The world-shaking "WHAM!" can be heard for miles around* [SOL] Jack: *Dubiously* Was that _really_ necessary? *Lucca walks in with her new invention* [E.C.] Mala-chan: No, but it was fun! ^_^ Xelloss: *Dazed but grinning* Again, please? ^_^ Mala-chan: *sweatdrop* Uh... Marle, bring out that useless piece of plastic I've been working on... Marle: Okie-dokie! ^_^ *Goes off somewhere* [SOL] Lucca: I take it that's the cue for the Invention Exchange. OK, here's what I got. *Sets what appears to be a lap-top on the counter* This is the Working Designs Translating Machine. Ever get really pissed off at a game because the translation was unclear, surreal, or just plain bad? Well, here's what to do! *Takes a copy of the Japanese version of "Wild ARMs 2nd Igntion" and puts it in the CD drive of the "lap-top". After a few seconds, a "ding!" is heard* OK, all done. Now look! *She turns the machine around and shows the intro to the game. Instead of the original lyrics, however, some goofy-as-sin lyrics are added* Eheh, looks like I made it _too_ much like a real Working Designs translation... Well, at least the game text will be much clearer and fun. ^^;; [E.C.] Marle: *Walks in with a strange doll* Ooo, does this mean Caina's still a man then? ^_^ *Hands the doll over to Mala-chan* [SOL] Lucca: Yep! *victory sign* [E.C.] Mala-chan: Hmph, anyway, here is a project made in cooperation with Dr. Thinker. *Holds up the doll* It's the Darien Was Jump And Duck doll! Now with Super-Uselessness Powers! It comes with a jumping duck sidekick and costs $99.99! In stores now! [SOL] All: *sweatdrop* .................... Lucca: That's... really, really stupid. [E.C.] Mala-chan: *Fumes* Just for that, here's your story. Killey, part 2! Marle, send the fic! Marle: Yes, ma'am! *Pushes "Send" button* [SOL] Lucca: *Rolls eyes* Like you weren't going to do this anyway. *Lights flash and klaxons go off* Looks like it's Fanfic Sign again... *sigh* *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically. Door 5: It's PJ Berri. Lammi's chasing him for causing her death once before. You watch the bear get "KA-BONG"ed with Lammi's guitar, then proceed. Door 4: It's a shrine to Rally Vincent and Vash the Stampede. You have to drag Rudy away in oder to get to the next door. Door 3: It's your normal run-of-the-mill drawbridge. It falls out towards you, barely missing you. Door 2: It's everyone's favorite ignorant slut, Ashley Winchester! After taunting him mercilessly about how many people he can be paired with plausibly, you flee from his KnightBlazer form. Door 1: It's a wall. Tinkerbelle comes, waves her wand, and an opening appears. Seating (L-R): Klaus, Rini, Rudy, Lucca, and Jack* Jack: So, "Rudy the Stampede", you got a sixty-billion gella bounty on your head? ^_^ Rudy: *Blushing furiously* Shut _UP_, Jack! Lucca: Aw, the "Humanoid Typhoon" is shy about his identity, I take it? ^_^ Jack: But you weren't... you installed hidden cameras, right? Lucca: *nods* I know _everything_ that goes on here! EVERYTHING! AAAAAAAAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *All inch away from her* >Killey >Chapter 1:No leaf clover! Klaus: Guess Lucky's cereal magic ran out already... >Location: somewhere in the badlands between >Jowston city-state and the Toren Republic Lucca: Toren? There was another revolution? Bart's voice: Nah, Citen's evil twin must be the president now. All: ??? > Zed leaned back in his rocking chair. Rudy, Jack, and Hanpan: *blink*blink* What?! Rudy: I'll be damned... Hey, Jack, looks like you were right last time about this being on Filgaia. O_o; >This was the >best way to relax around here. Lucca: Next to the rituals involving whipped topping, that is. ^_^ >To take a nap on his front >porch in the after noon after a long day of working in his >decent sized farm out here in the Bad Lands. Rini: And. To fragment the sentences. >The heat does >become intolerable at this time of day. Klaus: Oh, so he's *Sings* o/~ Feelin' HOT, HOT, HOT! o/~ ^_^ All else: *sweatdrop* ................... Klaus: I say something wrong? >But were the sun >was in the sky and how he built his house, the shade from >his covered porch made it relatively comfortable. Rudy: You mean like changing the Senshi's names make then relatively tolerable? ^^;; Rini: *shudder* Don't tell me you _like_ the dub... Rudy: No, but it's less stressful when I can say they're different people. ^^;; >Life is >tough in this harsh land, Hanpan: Life was fading from the land. The people try to cling desperately to their land. Those who dare venture out into the world are called "Dream Chasers"... >so simple relaxing is the only >thing the people do when they are not trying to eek out a >living. Klaus: Well, I supposed eeking out a living is better then ni-ing out a living. I mean, shrubberies aren't all that useful outside of landscaping... >The real isolation of his small town out here only >made life a bit tougher for the residents. Lucca: Leather goods are a lot harder to find- *WHAM!* HEY! That wasn't a fully-hentai remark! Rini: Close enough. >Especially that >everyone there has to live without many luxuries such as >regular access to the major trade route to get goods and >services. Jack: Such as Blue's Clues videos and spackle! Klaus: Don't forget the blessings of the Five Intel Cids! ^_^ > In any case, Zed was shocked completely awake from >his drowsy state when he looked to the south over the hill Jack: -and far away, where the Teletubbies- *WHAM!*WHACK!* *WHAMMO!*DOINK!* I had that coming to me, didn't I? ^^;; Rini: *To Klaus* "Doink"? Klaus: *shrug* All the good sound effects were taken. >line that over looks the wastelands in that direction. The >sight of a bedraggled man carrying a duffel bag and a pair >of saddlebags over each of his shoulder was something that >just doesn’t happen around here. Rudy (Zed): Looks like that guy needs some help from the ultimate macho man! >Especially if he was >walking out of the bad lands alone. He scrambled out of his >rocking chair and ran to the front door. “Margaret! Rini (Margaret Cho's mother as Zed): MURAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! >Come out >here right now!” he shouted into the house. Jack (Steve as Margaret): But we're looking for Blue's Clues right now! >“What? Hold on >Zed, let me finish cleaning these dishes…” A woman said >from inside the house. “Forget those damn dishes! Klaus (Zed): We don't need no steeking dishes! ^_^ Jack: *Grumbles* He's infringing on my schtick... >There is >someone walking to town out from the south!” Jack: Out of a cloud of dust, with a "Hi-ho, Silver!" and with his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, comes... The Lone Ranger! ^_^ Rudy: Or Vash the Stampede... *Very distantly* I wish I had _half_ his luck... *sigh* >He yelled back. >“WHAT!” Margaret said with a mix of surprise and confusion. Klaus: Would that be called "surfusion" then? ^_^; >The middle-aged housewife stepped out of the door and looked >in the direction of where Zed was talking about. Rini: And saw... THE RABID CHU-CHUS OF QUEEN ALICE! The horror! Rudy: "Rabid Chu-Chus"? Never mind, I don't wanna know... >The man had >stopped at the top of the hill to catch his breath or of some >other nature. Neither she nor Zed *All hum Zed's theme from Wild ARMs* >could tell what he was >doing, if he was doing anything at all. “I’ll go and rustle >up the neighbors, Klaus: Ah yes, a little-known crime in the Old West: Neighbor Rustling. ^_^ >you go fetch some water Margaret! He’s >probability going to need some.” > Zed ran next door and pounded on the door. Jack (Cartman as Zed): That's a bad Mr. Door! BAD! >He slowly got >the village up and moving. However, that traveler did not >really care of what was going on bellow him. Rini: Bellow? OK. *Takes a deep breath; ala Margaret Cho's mother* MURAAAAAAAAAN!! Rudy: *Clutching his ears* Do that again and I duct tape your mouth shut! >Killey stopped >to wipe the sweat from his eyes. Jack: His eyes sweat? Keen... >“I have to get some water >and soon.” He said. The toll of walking across the desert >was showing on him. Jack: Feh, wuss. He wouldn't last a _day_ on Filgaia. >He’s rather strong and can put up with a >long hike, but this was too much. Rini: o/~ Too much... of something... is bad enough... o/~ >He was wiped out to the >point that he had to pull out his old sword from his duffel >bag and use it as a walking stick (thankfully he had a >stealth on it too) All: *blink*blink* Rudy: A "stealth"? Jack: *sweatdrop* Next it'll say he "putted on tennis"... Hanpan: AAAAAAAAAAAH! NO OSCAR!! >Killey looked over the town, and was >surprised to see such a large town. Lucca (Killey): But why is there a big plate in the sky? >The is a river of clean >water running down (to the east) the low valley the town is in. Jack: o/~ Down in the valley of the Jolly Green Giant... o/~ Lucca (Xelloss): Wow, look at his niblets! ^.^ Rini (Martina): Xelloss! >The majority of the houses are on the south side of the river Rini (Chris Farley): And I live in a _VAN_ DOWN BY THE RIVER!! >while there are long strip of flood plain on the north side >that was converted into farming fields. Lucca: Must... not make... stupid missionary remark... >.< >There were no >exceptionally large or outstanding builds in this small >farming town. Rini: o/~ Little town, it's a quiet village.../ Every day, like the one... before... o/~ > “I can’t believe that this is the place.” Rudy (Killey): They said there were so many dancing girls, some have to dance out in the _streets_, man! >Killey looked >over and beyond the town to see if there is any geographical >evidence that would point out to where he needs to go. Klaus: May I? Please? ^_^ Rini: _No_, Parappa refs are _mine_ to make, bubby. Klaus: ... you're no fun. >All he >could see is a huge cloud enshrouded mountain range to the >west. Jack: Unfortunately, that was where the Wicked Witch of the West lived. Rudy: What, Rini? *WHAM!* Rini: Rudy no baka! >“I guess the this river comes down from those mountain. Rini: Lesse, it's flowing to the east, the moutains on the west... No friggin' DUH, Killey! >Maybe the site is up there.” Rudy (Killey): And it's... "Organized Chaos!"?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! *ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!* Voice: DON'T MOCK THE SITE, BOZO! >He said as he started walking again, >however his legs had other plans. *At the same time...* Klaus (Killey's legs): Now kick, ball change, and shuffle, shuffle... *Normal* Hey! Don't copy! Jack (Killey's legs): RIVERDANCE TIME! o/~ Doodle doodly doo... o/~ *Normal* ... hey! No fair copying me! >With the first step his knees >gave out and he tumbled down the slope. *All hold up signs reading (left to right) "8.0", "9.0", "0.1", "71.25", and "Freebird!"* >The only thing that >Killey remember is the spinning view on the world, Rudy: He shouldn't have taken "healing herbs" from Citan once he realized the good doctor was high, now should he have? >the scrapes >and bruising impacts, and the occasional rocks sticking out the >ground just in the right place so that he could bounce off it. Klaus, Rini, and Jack: Boi~gy, boi~gy, boi~gy! > Needless to say, it was a painful stumble down the hill. Lucca (Xelloss): Can I go next? ^_^ >Killey landed in a heap at the base of the hill near the edge >of the town. Rudy: Lina Air's not exactly the best place to book a flight, Killey... Lina's voice: WHAT WAS THAT?! Rudy: Er, nothing, Miss Beautiful Genius Sorceress Lina Inverse. Lina's voice: Oh. Good. Rudy: *Thinks* Whew, that was close. Amazing what a little kissing up will do... >Summing his situation, he said. “Ouch…….” Before >he passed out. Rini: Killey must have MAD SENTENCE. FRAGMENTING SKILLZ; look! *Points at the sentence* >It was very comfortable and warm where he was at. Just like >his old bed back in Faleena. Jack: o/~ Faleeeeenaaa,/ You gotta see her! o/~ >Killey opened his eyes and looked >around. His jaw dropped when he realized he WAS back in his old >bed in Faleena. Rini: o/~ Faleena.../ I just met a girl named Faleena... o/~ >His old room in his mistress palace. Rudy: Dude, I did _not_ need to know Killey was into that kinda thing... O.o;; Lucca: The disturbing part is that Alex from the White Deer Inn was his "mistress". Rudy: ... that comment was very unnecessary... >.<;; >“This >can’t be! This, this was over 15 years ago!?!?” Hanpan: Which is it? Was it or wasn't it over 15 years ago? Jack: *Off on a tangent* How do they get the little "M"s on the M&M's? >A shadow loomed >over him. Rini: Funny place to be making tapestries... >He turned to look what was casting it and could only >see the form of his mistress that he served so long ago. Rudy: And what a form it was! Rowr! ^_^ >“Please don’t go mistress! Jack (Killey): Never let go, mistress, never let go! *Normal* Ick, "Titanic" ref... >.< >Let me fallow you!” Killey said as >he reached out to her. Lucca: -as Quistis fired at the big mechanical spider... >“Forget it Killey, you are not able to go >where I have to go.” Rini (mistress): The ladies bathroom. Stay out, you perv! >Said the woman in the shadows that Killey >knew all to well. “Stay here and forget about me. Jack (mistress): o/~ Here's you #@)&ing heart,/ It's not for real,/ So just forget about it! o/~ >After all, >you are just a man, you’ll live though it.” Jack: ... why am I having some flashbacks to Arctica here? Rudy: Arctica? What exactly _did_ you do in Arctica? You never did tell me or Cecilia the whole story... Jack: .................. >With that, the woman >turned around, her blue cape fluttering into view and started >walking away. “no, No, NO, NOOO!” Klaus (Gourry): MY SANDWICH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! >Killey yelled as he jumped out >of his bed and started to run after the woman. Rudy (Kunou as Killey): Come back, my goddess in pigtails! I love you! I would date with you! >After a few steps, >he hit something much like a plane of glass and broke though it >and started falling. Rini: o/~ I fell do~wn, do~wn, down.../ I fell down, down... o/~ >And falling, and falling, and falling… Lucca: o/~ Faaaaaaaaaa~ling,/ I'm faaaaaaaa~~ling... o/~ Jack (Baby Plucky): Kiwwey faw down the ho~le... >“DAUGH!!!!” Jack: o/~ Daugh, daugh, daugh.../ Daugh, daugh, daugh... o/~ >Killey bolted upright in the bed he was in. He was >breathing hard and looked around him. Klaus (Killey): Wow! This place is thimply thuper! ^_^ All else: *sweatdrop* ................ Klaus: What? What's wrong? >He didn’t recognize the >room he was in. It was a simple wood plank room with bed he was >in on one side of the room, a nightstand next to him, a chest of >draws across from him, Klaus: Draws? OK. *Points at the sentence. Some pink smoke (petals? I could never tell...) come out of the screen. A window appears over Klaus's head. It reads, "Drew 10 Ultima!"* Lucca: ... how the hell did you do that?! Klaus: Sore wa... himitsu desu. ^_^ >and his bags leaning up against the wall. >The door on the other side of that opened suddenly and a middle >aged looking woman dashed in. Rini: Dashes?! *Looks to the left* INCOMING! DUCK! *All duck* ------------------------------------------ *The dashes that represent the infamous "Pika Pi Attack" fly harmlessly over everyone's heads* Rudy: I hate that running gag... *sigh* >She looked at in surprise, then >gave out a sigh of relief. “Oh good, you’re awake. Rudy (Margaret; thinking): Damn, we have to give him his money back now... Lucca (Margaret; thinking): Maybe he'll want his pants back now... *WHAM!* Rini: _THAT_ was over the line, Lucca! >We thought >you where in a coma.” “Where am I? Who are you?” She reached >back out of the room brought in a pitcher of water and a mug. *Klaus holds up a little sign with numbers on it. He pauses for a moment, the turns to the side* Rini: "Mug" shots. Cute, kid. Really. >“I’m Margaret, my husband was the first one who saw you walking >out of the badlands. Jack: Out of the badlands? Hanpan: Well, that kills that "Filgaia setting" theory... Voice: It could be set in the Filgaia of the second game still... >(She poured some water into the mug and >held it out to Killey) This town is called Paradise by the way. Rini: Whoo. Creative. Really, I mean it. >p >(He took the mug and drained it in three gulps) You took a nasty >stumble down the hill. I was afraid you might have broken >something.” Lucca: Can't break what already broken. *Makes gestures indicating that Killey's insane* >Killey shifted a bit in his bed and some pain sparked out from >his ribs and his right leg. Klaus (Killey): Damn rune malfunction... >“Nothing is broken, but I’ll have >some huge bruises from it. My name is Rini (Killey): _PRINCESS_ AngelinaContessaLouisaFrancessca- MMPH! Rudy: *Removes hand from Rini's mouth* Haven't you used that more than once in the past? Rini: Yeah, so? We recycle the "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" cracks many more times than I've recycled that line. >Killey.” “So where did you >come from? How did you survive the badlands on foot?” “My horse >died on me some 50 miles back to the south.” Jack: *lightbulb* Oh, so he was travelin' through the desert on a horse with no name! ^_^ Rudy: You've being _waiting_ for a chance to say that, haven't you? *Jack nods* >Killey said and >held the mug out again for a refill. “WHOW! You walked all that >way though the badlands ALONE! You must be tougher than you look.” Lucca (Margaret): Care to let me test how "tough" you are, big boy? ^_~ >Margaret said with much surprise and she refilled the mug. “But >you still didn’t say where you are from.” Jack: o/~ Well, I come from a land down under... o/~ >Killey paused for a >second in draining his mug. Rini: ... because Margaret was slowly using her powers to drain the life out of Killey. He soon died, the end. Klaus: She's an evil Crimson Noble? Cool! ^_^ Rini: Baka... -_-;; >He couldn’t bring himself to tell >anyone that he’s from the Faleena Queendom. The legendary >‘civilized’ amazon nation. Lucca: So legendary it has to be separated from the rest of the sentence. >Civilized or not, woman ruthlessly >control every factor of government and society and the men are >nothing more than slaves to the women. Rini and Lucca: *Ominously* Girl Power, Girl Power, a curse on all _men_. All else: *sweatdrop* ................. >It is embarrassing to >admit that you were once property. “South of Toren.” Bart's voice: Which is east of Citen and just down the road from Minuet. Billy's voice: You mind _not_ interrupting them? I wanted to see what they were gonna say! Bart's voice: Aw, bite me. Lucca: Please do that, Billy. Be sure to get some pictures of that for me while you're at it! ^_^-<3 Billy and Bart's voices: ... why me? >He didn’t >want to lie to his caring host, so he decided to just to be >vague instead. She just about dropped her jaw. Rini: Clunk. >“Amazing! The only >visitors we get here at best is a few trade caravans from as far >south as Kirov and as far north as South window.” She smiled. Rudy (Margaret): Duuuh... soup is good food. >He moved the sheet off of him and set his feet on the floor. Rini: ... but they weren't attached to his body... Klaus: Oh, that's bound to make a mess. ^^;; >“How long have I been out?” “Just a day.” She said. Normally he >would thank her and keep on moving, but… Klaus: Tsk, tsk! Such language! *rimshot* *All sweatdrop* *Aside to the audience* I _love_ doing that! ^_^ >“Could you point me to >the nearest Rudy (Killey): -brothel? *WHAM!* Rini: Rudy no baka hentai. >tavern? I’m quite hungry.” Lucca: "Killey, part 2"! Now with a special cameo by Gourry Gabriev! Rini: Either that or Lina cross-dressing. >She shook her head. “We >don’t have one here. But please stay, I’ll cook breakfast for >you.” Klaus: *evil grin* Crack, crack, crack the e- *WHAM!* Rini: _I_ make the Parappa refs exclusively here, buddy! >There was a baby’s crying from the other room. “Hold on >a sec, Little Shawn is calling me.” Lucca: *blink*blink* The hero from Suikoden 2 is calling? Rini: You named him _Shawn_? What the hell kinda name is that for him when his sister's named "Nanami" and his grandfather's named "Genkaku"?! *WHAM!* Lucca: *Tosses aside mallet* Ah, shaddap already. >With that she walked out. >Killey got up and walked over to close the door. The he walked >over to his bags and opened them up. Lucca (Killey): Blow-up doll, salad tongs, canola oil... yep, all here. Rini: ... I am _not_ asking about the salad tongs. *sweatdrop* >He checked them and >nothing was missing, so he changed his cloths and put on his >favorite red Robin Hood like hat. Rudy: Robin Hood...? GAH! BAD MENTAL IMAGE OF KILLEY IN TIGHTS! Eew! Eew! Eew! Eew! >.<;;; Voice: It's still not as bad as the Irving/Altaecia implications near the end of Wild ARMs 2nd Ignition. Rini: You're never going to let that go, are you boss? Voice: How _can_ I? >.< >“I guess I can wait to eat.” >He laid back down on the bed and slipped back to sleep. Klaus: SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP! >“Um, Mr. Killey. Please wake up. I have your food ready.” Rini (Margaret; thinking): Heheh, that rat poison'll do the trick... Rudy: What with the getting increasingly dark business, Rini? Rini: Since Ramzy's not here, somebody's gotta do it. *sigh* Ramza... >Killey woke to see Margaret standing next to the bed. “Thank >you.” *Rini and Jack quickly cover Rudy and Lucca's mouths respectively* Rini: Don't _even_. Jack: Please _don't_. Klaus: Er... huh? >Killey got up and followed her into the other room. It >was a rather large kitchen, dinning room, and living room >combo. Rini: Must... resist... Street Fighter ref... >.< Rudy: I won't! *Sakura* Shinkuu... HADOOOOOKEN! >He walked over to the dinner table and sat down at >one end where Margaret has set out a nice looking ham and >eggs breakfast. Rudy and Lucca: ................ Jack: *snickers* Hey, we found something neither of them will touch! ^^ >There was another man at the table. “Hello >Killey, I’m Zed, she’s my wife (nods to Margaret). Jack (Zed): She used to be blind until she was hit by an Instant Plot Device (TM). ^_^ Rudy: Jack, it's not the Zed we know and... tolerate. Give it up already. *Lucca lewdly giggles* *sigh* Why me? Voice: One word: Tripillar. [Don't ask. Just... don't ask.] >I was the >one who first spotted you. How are you feeling?” Zed said. >“Starving.” With that, he sat down and started to wolf Xelloss's voice: Not. One. _Word_. Klaus: Yes, no comments... *Glares down the row* All else: ..................??? >down >his breakfast. “So what brings you this little town?” “I came >here to explore Mt. Erathia. Rini: o/~ R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me! o/~ Rudy: _Erathia_, not _Aretha_! Rini: Bite me, it's fun. Xelloss's voice: It's fun to bite you? ^_^ Rini: NONONONONONONNOOOOO! I didn't mean it to sound like that! O.o;; Rudy: There's a phrase that suits this scene... what was it again...? Oh yes, it's, "Baka, baka, minna baka." >I heard there could be a sindar >ruins up there.” Zed and Margaret froze in mid action and >gave each other a concerned looked. Jack (Zed): Should we tell him there's no way across the lake since the Earth Golem got totaled? Rudy (Margaret): Nah, the pessimist there will tell him that. >“Killey, are you sure you >want to go there? Just about everyone who goes up there don’t >come back down.” Lucca: Little does Zed know the reason is there's one hell of a raging kegger goin' on up there and _that's_ why no one returns! ^_^ >“I’m going, I have too.” Killey said between >mouthful of food. “I have I feeling that from the rumors that >I heard about it that there is a sindar ruins up there. All: ..................... Rini: Ooo! Ooo! I know what it says! It says- Klaus: *Interrupts* -"Well, that blows it!" ^_^ *WHAM!* Rini: Don't interrupt! >I >have to check it out to make sure.” >Zed and Margaret gave each other a concerned look. Jack (Zed): Should we tell him Ragu Ragula, Angel Moa, and the Weapons from FFVII are playing five-card stud there and don't want to be disturbed? Rini (Margaret): ... nah. >“You sound >like no matter what we say or do, you are going up there.” >Zed stated. “You got that right.” Klaus (Killey): Meowth! Dat's right! ^_^ >Killey said as he finished >off his breakfast. “Mt. Erathia Rini: o/~ You gotta think (think!)/ 'Bout what you're trying ta do to me... o/~ Rudy: *twitch* Do you _ever_ listen to what I say?! >.<;; >is that big one to the west, >right?” Lucca: Hey, watch this. *Claude Kenni voice* "Let's go back to Expel!" >“Yes.” *All clap* Lucca: Thank you, thank you... ^_^ Voice: OK, we've filled our Incredibly Obscure Star Ocean 2 Ref quota for the week... >Zed answered “I believe that the river that >lets us live here in the land comes down from that mountain.” Jack: Dammit, I wish I hadn't used that "Jolly Green Giant" line already... >“Well, that just helps me a whole lot then” Killey said with >a smile, “I’ll just fallow Lucca: *Draws gun* Falwell?! DIE! Rudy: It's _"fallow", "_FALLOW_"! He mispelled "follow", that's all! ^^;;; Lucca: Oh. *Puts back gun* >the river up there mountain and >I’ll just look over the place from there.” He got up and wiped >his mouth off with a napkin. Rini: He then looked at the napkin and stared at his mouth... Rudy: *sweatdrop* Cartoon physics are not at work in the fic, you know? Rini: *Darkly* Who said anything about cartoon physics? *Rudy inches away from Rini* >“Thank you so much for you >helping me out and feeding me.” He took out his wallet and >handed Zed 5000 Potch. Voice: ... OK, so it's _not_ Filgaia from either game. Could be the Filgaia from the WA anime... >“That I think is reasonable payment for >my room and board.” Zed and Margaret would have turned down >money for any kindness given to survivors of the deadly >Badlands around them, Klaus: -but that would mean not being able to pay Citan for his "services". ^_^ Rini: You're pushing it, pal... >but this much money is more cash than >the both of them would see in ten years. Rini: So they killed him and took the rest of his money and threw his body in the river, where it eventually met Odessa's... >Killey noticed their >hesitance in taking the money. Killey finally sized them up. Jack (Killey): I _knew_ he has a size 36! >These people were very poor and this child maybe too much for >them to handle with what little money they had. “Please take >it. For your child’s sake at least.” Klaus (Kevin Meaney): Giving alcohol to babies, now that's not right! He's like a mental case! *All else sweatdrop* ^_^ Lucca: *To Rudy* You know, I think he _enjoys_ our reactions to his stupid comments... >He left the money on >the table and turned to walk out. “Thank you so much Killey. >We will never forget this!” Killer heard Margaret say to him >in a voice that was holding back tears of joy. Rini (Margaret): Finally, he's going! *sniffle* I'm... so... HAPPY! Lucca: Channeling Ashton, Rini? Jack: *Mutters quickly* CousinofCommentedCrono... Lucca: Oh shush, Van Burace. >Killey walked out of their house with his bags without ever >turning back. But he did have a smile on his face. Rudy: ... nah, it's just _too_ easy. > It was several hours sense he left the village and the >river does indeed have its origins on Mt. Erathia. Rini: o/~ You make me feel like a natural woman.../ Woma~~n... o/~ Rudy: *twitch* ...................... >But the >environment on up the mountain is thankfully more tolerable >than the Bad Lands he was traveling for the last few days. Jack: Too bad Beselk already broke the seal at the top... *shish-THOOM!!* ... ow. Voice: We've already killed that gag. Move on already! >It slowly changes from a dry hot desert to a more welcome >coastal forest [author’s note, it’s like the forest of the >pacific north west of Washington State]. All the while Killey Klaus: -laid bread crumbs along the path so he wouldn't get lost. Rini: Then a witch ate him, the end. >had more time to think to himself. ‘This is an unusual spot >for sindar ruins to be. Normal they are in deep forests and >underground caverns.’ Thought to him self. Jack: Well, that's _kinda_ like the Guardians- *shish- THOOOOOOOM!!* Is asking be nicely to stop too much to ask?! Voice: Yep. > (Maybe we had a good reason to build it here. Don’t you >think?) Hanpan: Of course not, you simpleton. >Killey stopped in mid stride. ‘What the hell was that?’ He >looked around him, but there was nobody around him. Rini: But there was someone _above_ him. In a Gear. On Drive. With Aerods. And in a _really_ bad mood due to repeated taunts about how she was written in her game. Rudy: DadyTengu, _RUN_. >‘But >that was in my head! I couldn’t be talking to myself like >that.’ He paused for a several minuets Klaus: May I have this dance? ^_^ >but nothing else was >said. Killey shrugged his shoulders and continued walking. Jack: INTENSE... WALKING... _ACTION_! >The tree canopy was very thick and blocked out a lot much of >the sun light. Lucca: Which meant that no one would catch the people going at it in there. ^_^ Rini: ....................... >He was getting close to the top rim of the >mountain when he thought, ‘The weather was strangely wet for >being surrounded by such a dry land.’ Lucca: You think that's odd, how about the Typical Snowy Location (TM) in ever RPG; it's almost never in the geographically correct place to be a snowy place. >(Well, I have to water my lawn somehow you know.) Rudy: Well, it beats sprinklers, that's for sure. >Killey stopped again. This time he reached for his sword on >his belt. Lucca: Gah! Put that away, Killey! O.o; Rini: *snicker* The great and mighty hentai has just been trumped, I take it? Lucca: ... ah, bite me. >“This place is disturbing. There HAS to be a >sindar ruins around here.” Klaus: That's a perfect example of a deductively invalid statement there... Jack: Uh... "Deductively invalid statement"? Hanpan: I'll explain later, OK? >He said under his breath. The >moisture and the cooling temperature was beginning to make >him shiver. Rudy: That, and the screechy violin music in the background... >He leaned back against a tree, opened his duffel >bag and pulled out his specially tailored red trench coat and >put it on. He adjusted his trademarked red hat, gripped his >sword and proceeded to the ridgeline. Rini (Tsuneo): "He got ready for a fight and continued walking." >He wasn’t prepared for what he saw. The top of the mountain >was a massive fog in shrouded crater. Jack: *gasp!* Myotismon's there! >“It HAS to be here! Maybe >I can find the truth here…” Klaus: We've secretly replaced Killey with Fox Mulder. Let's see if the Sindar can tell the difference... >“That you can Killey, and maybe also >the way to bring your beloved back to your arms too.” Rini (Killey): But I thought that Filgaian kid had dibs on Rally Vincent... Rudy: *Puts a hand on the Phaser ARM* I _do_. >Killey >spun around and saw a man who was wearing a hooded cape sitting >on an old log. Lucca: "Happy Spell" flashbacks... Ow. >.< >He stood up and revealed that he was also wearing >an old medieval style crusader’s outfit although his face was >mostly masked, some bits of a long mustache was visible. Jack: It's Yosemite Sam! >“That >is,” The hooded man said, “If you survive the test first Killey.” Lucca (Hooded man as Washuu): The first test is collecting a "sample"! ^_^ >“Who are you?” Killey said as he pointed his sword at the man. >“How do you know my name!” Rini (Killey): And what did you do to my question mark! >“Of course I know who you are, you >have been hunting down my homes all over my place, looking for >my stuff and ‘trying’ to find my secrets (snort). Jack: There's a really stupid Clapton song comment in this, but... nah. >Yea right.” >Killey had lowered his sword a bit when the idea of whom he was >speaking to. Klaus: ... broke off the sentence and fled into the woods? ^_^; >“You are one of the sindar aren’t you?” Killey said, >slightly dumb founded. Rudy (Killey): Duuh... I like rice. >“For a human, you catch on quick.” Said >the hooded man. Klaus: His name is "Said"? Jack: Does this mean Commented Crono's a Sindar person? >“But first you have to clear the test before I >can help you.” He snapped his fingers and a sound of a LARGE >creature moving though the undergrowth from behind Killey. Rini: Barney the Mega-Bunny's here? KICK! ^_^ Lucca: Does this mean Claude and Dias are heading that way too? ^_^ >Killey turned around and saw the biggest five headed snake in >the world rear up and hiss at him. >The only thing Killey could say was “Snakes, why did it have >to be snakes….” Jack: *cough*IndianaJonesrip-off*cough* >Killey made a run for it down into the fog >covered crater. Jack: -and found Rigdobrite in it. Voice: ... should I zap you for that or not zap you...? >The Snake followed after him. The hooded man >vanished with a smile. Rudy: Ladies and gentlemen, the Cheshire Sindar! >Killey ran like a mad man Rini: Tango-sama! ^_^ Rudy: _"Tango-sama"_?! You're more messed up than I thought you were... *WHAM!* Rini: Shaddap. >but the snake >was somewhat faster. But by the time it caught up Killey they >were deep into the fog and Killey found another amazing secret >in the fog. Klaus: Elza was there and, _boy_, was she pissed! Rini: He opened the chest with faith and inside was White Materia! Rudy: He saw that Meryl Strife was bathing in the stream! ^_^ *WHAM!* Ow! Lucca: He found Lavos and Mother playing Twister! Jack: No, no, he found the Crono family reunion! >The very bottom of the crater was actually a >MASSIVE hole; a cave opening that was about a quarter of a mile >in diameter. Worse yet, he couldn’t see the bottom to it. Klaus: He did, however, see that there was a bus and a bucket of ice cream in it, signifying that this was a dream. ^_^ >“Well now, you have a dilemma now don’t you.” Rini (Killey): Yeah, all the question marks have turned up missing. I can't ask any questions now! >Killey turned to >his right and saw the hooded man reappear on a bolder a couple >of feet away. Jack: "Bolder"? Bolder than what? >“You’re stuck between the devil, (the snake >blocked off all escape routes for Killey) and the deep blue, All but Rini (Alen-Tax's henchmen): NOUGAT! Rini (Alen-Tax): ... Why can't I get GOOD henchmen? >er, black sea. (The hooded man turned to look down the massive >pit) So what choice will you make Killey?” Killey used his >sword to fend off the snake. Lucca: So he has no runes. What a dumb-ass. >He knew that he could not kill this >monster alone. Rini: So he was killed, the end. >And that pit hopefully has a lake at the bottom >to ease his landing ‘yea right’ he though. “But it’s a better >chance survive than going down that snake’s gullet…” Jack: Well, you could wear an antacid trenchcoat and maybe survive... *All look at him oddly* What? >Killey turned >around and took a running leap off the pit’s cliff and down he went. >And down, and down, and down… Rudy (Professor from "The Mole People"): Down, down, down... >The hooded man dismissed the snake with a wave of his hand and >looked down the pit. Klaus ("Said"): Eew, when did I install those spikes at the bottom? >His eyes started to glow in a pale blue light, “ha, ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, >HA, HA, HA, HA, HAA, HAAA!” and with that, he vanished. Lucca: Id! Klaus: Luca Blight! Rini: Kodachi Kunou! Rudy: Tira Misu! Jack: *Looks sad* Elmina... *All look at him funny* Something wrong? >[To be continued] All: *Blandly* Hooray. > > > >*Author’s note: So what do you think about that!! Never thought the >sindar was still around did you? ^_^ All: *gasp!* Rini: A question mark! He found a question mark! It's a miracle! Lucca: Let the celebration commence! ^_^ >before the rumors start flying, the hooded man will stick around a >bit. And there will be more secrets reveled in the next chapter so >stay tuned! Rudy: More? Crap... *All exit* *Reverse door sequence* [SOL] *Zel is on the bridge, looking really pissed off. Rini enters from stage left* Rini: Something wrong, Zelly-kins? Zelgadiss: "Rudy the Stampede" locked me out of the game room. *Pause* Don't call me "Zelly-kins". Rini: You mean Jack and Lucca _weren't_ exaggerating about that?! *Zel nods* Dude! Maybe all those fics have slowly made him snap and now he thinks he's Vash! Zelgadiss: *Shakes his head* I don't think that's it. He still knows who he really is... Rini: Oh. Well, it's still not healthy to obsess that much. *The yellow button flashes* Oh, the Agile Remote Mission Squad's calling. *Pushes the yellow button* [E.C.] Mala-chan: So, one among your ranks is losing his grip on reality, hmm? Excellent... [SOL] Rini: Nah, he's still the same as always; he just has a new little obsession to play with (I think). [E.C.] Mala-chan: No matter; with what I have in store, all your tenuous holds on sanity will break and then I can DESTROY THE MULTIVERSE! Aha! Ahahaha! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHA!! AHA! [SOL] Zelgadiss: ... she's a happy little nutball, isn't she? Rini: *Whispers to Zel* At least she's never given us a lemon. [E.C.] Mala-chan: A lemon? Hmm... I wonder how your darling Filgaians would respond to that one yaoi fic I found of them a while back... [SOL] Rini: ... me and my big mouth. Voice: Don't worry about it. It'll probably never get in her hands ever again. Rini: Ah, good. [E.C.] Mala-chan: We'll see about that, good twin, we'll see... Marle! Push the button! Marle: Oh, right-o. *Pushes the button* *FWOOOSH!* *Fade to black* *Roll credits* --------------------------------------------------- The REAL End Comments? E-mail at: lilka@senshi.net Or I'll make Liz and Ard talk to you... >“Of course I know who you are, you >have been hunting down my homes all over my place, looking for >my stuff and ‘trying’ to find my secrets (snort). Lookie, shameless plugs! Organized Chaos! (My RPG humor site) http://www.crosswinds.net/~rinichan *~swearing to the sky~* (My Wild ARMs shrine) http://www.angelfire.com/wa2/filgaia Season one: ------------------ Episode 101: "Battle of the Strongest" Episode 102: Raging Double Feature ("Wild ARMs Rage" and "Toshinden Rage") Episode 103: "The Cursed Waters" Episode 104: "The Jonathanlizers" Episode 105: "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story" part 1 Episode 106: "The Return of Lord Thinker" Episode 107: "Get Rich Quick" spam. Episode 108: "Don't Freak Out" Episode 109a: "The Price of Redemption" parts 1-3 Xenogears interludes: ------------------------- Episode 109b: "The Price of Redemption" parts 4-5 Episode 201a: "Messila's Journey" part 1 Episode 203: "Ash's New Friend" Episode 206: "Emerald Nights" part 1 Episode 207: "Pokemon Gangbang" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 301f: "Messila's Journey" part 6 Episode 301g: "Messila's Journey" part 7 Episode 305: "An Interesting Twist" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 402j: "Messila's Journey" part 10 Season Two: ---------------- Episode 202: "Why RPGs Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development" Episode 201b: "Messila's Journey" part 2 Episode 201c: "Mesilla's Journey" part 3 Episode 204: "FFVII: The Untold Story" part 2 Episode 205: "Behind the Scenes" Episode 208: "Beloved? Yeah, Right" Season Three: ------------------ *Special!* Episode 300: "The Happy Spell" *Special!* Episode 208b: "Beloved: A Vampire's Tale" Episode 301d: "Messila's Journey" part 4 Episode 301e: "Messila's Journey" part 5 Episode 302: "Decency Patrol #2" Episode 303: "Slayer Arms" part 1 Episode 301h: "Messila's Journey" part 8 Episode 301i: "Messila's Journey" part 9 Episode 304: "Killey" part 1 Season Four: ------------------ Episode 401: Miscellanious Miscellany ("Chick Tract" parody) Episode 403: "Killey" part 2 Other MSTings: ------------------ Episode 000: "Rebirth" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 001: Stephen Gohan's letter to the GIA (MSTed with Katana Angel) *Coming soon!* Episode 002: "Cloud Vs. Aeris" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 003 or Fortuna Fanfic Theater 5000 episode 9: "10-chi Returns" (MSTed with DadyTengu)