"This just leaves me speechless..." -Rena Lanford, "Star Ocean: The Second Story" Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Final Fantasy Tactics and Chrono Trigger are copyrighted by SquareSoft Wild ARMs is copyrighted by Media Vision or Contrail, the latter being the newer name for the company. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; "Messila's Journey" is owned by the one and only Dr. Thinker. No offense or other bad stuff was intended with this MSTing. Nor were any chimeras permanently scarred mentally in the production of this MSTing... I think. ^^;; Chibi-chan's notes (a.k.a. Other Stuff) Fun fact: This part was finished _before_ part seven! ^^ With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ (Singer) In the not too distant future, (Methinks it was next Thursday) A bunch of poor suckers Have some hell to pay! A group of evil people, led by Mala-chan, They were bored one day, so they dreamed up a plan. They choose some people they didn't like, Then they sent those poor victims into space and- *B-ko cackles* (Mala-chan) We'll send them crappy fanfics, As many as we can find! (Lalala!) (Marle) They'll have to sit and read them all! (Dycedarg) And they'll slowly lose their minds! (Lalala!) (Singer) Now keep in mind they can't control Where the fanfics begin or end. (Lalala!) To try to keep their sanity, Upon each other they must depend! RIFFER ROLL CALL! Rudy! (No Rini! YAY! ^^) Zelgadiss! (Why am I here?!) Ramza! (Yeah, why? *grumble*) Lucca! (I'm BRILLIANT! ^_^) Jaaaaaaaaaack! (Oh bugger...) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science fact, Just think to yourself, "It's just a file, I should really just relax, For 'Idiotic Fanfic Theater Whatever' *Twang!* [The SOL (Not the Satellite of Love, tho')] *Rudy is leaning against the wall on the bridge as he idly plays a Game Boy game* Rudy: *Slowly getting more and more irritated* OUT OF ULTRA BALLS AGAIN?! #$&^@!)# ARTICUNO!! *Throws the Game Boy against the opposite wall. A crash and the sound of falling plastic hitting the ground can be heard. Jack walks on the bridge* Jack: *Spies the broken Game Boy* Articuno problems again? Rudy: *grumble* Yeah.. *mutter* *The yellow button flashes* Hanpan: *Flies over to the button* We'll be right back... *Presses the button* --------------------- Announcer: Do _you_ like anime? Video games too? Well, we've got the game for you! *A jewel case featuring a picture of Zelgadiss dressed as Parappa appears* Zelgadiss the Rapper, in stores everywhere except anywhere! Order yours today at: Lucca Productions, c/o Mala-chan, 1273 Mads Street, Evilsville, MN 07143 ---------------------- Rudy: *Gawks at the commercial* She actually put _that_ out on the market?! O.O;;; Lucca: *Walks in, toting what _seems_ to be a lunchbox* Oh, you saw the new comercial for my latest product, I take it. ^_^ *The red light flashes* Oh look, the Quarter Knights are calling. *Pushes the button* [Evil Central] Xelloss: *Pointing to a picture of him dressed as Sunny Funny* Pink is really _not_ my color, Lucca. Couldn't you have at least made the petals purple? ^_^;; [SOL] Lucca: And leave you with some _dignity_? Naaaaaaah. ^_^ [E.C.] B-ko: *Shoves Xelloss out of her way* So, whaddaya got for the Invention Exchange? [SOL] Lucca: So _glad_ you asked! ^_^ *Sets the lunchbox on the counter* I call it "Bishounen To Go"! Watch what happens when I open the box... *Opens the lunchbox. A red light, not unlike that of a Pokeball opening, emits from the box and forms into a human-like shape next to Lucca. With a flash of light, a familiar butt of many a yaoi-flavored joke/caption is in the form's place* Keen, huh? ^_^ Zelgadiss: ... where am I and who are you people? [E.C.] Xelloss: How much do you want for that? ^_^ B-ko: AKAGIYAMA MISSLE ATTACK! *Blasts Xelloss off the screen* Hmm, the perfect gift for the fangirl loser, right? *B-ko grins smugly. Lucca glowers in response* Well, _my_ invention is _much_ better than _that_. Come on out, Marle! *Marle walks in the room in some kind of battle suit... a battle suit that looks like a...* [SOL] *Lucca laughs hysterically* Rudy: The hell? Jack: Why is Marle in a bunny costume? Zelgadiss: And what is that _fruitcake_ doing here?! [E.C.] All: *Anime sweatdrop* Marle: I _told_ you it looked like a bunny suit! Xelloss: My, isn't she positively _adorable_? ^_^ *Marle blasts him with a missle-launching weapon* Marle: Shaddap. *grumble* B-ko: *ahem!* Anyway, since Mala has yet to return, we shall give you today's fanfic, "Messila's Journey", part 8. [SOL] All: *Anime sweatdrop* Zelgadiss: Would somebody _PLEASE_ tell me what all this is about? *Lights flash and klaxons go off* Rudy: I'll explain on the way, but now WE GOT THINKER SIGN! Zelgadiss: What is- *Get dragged towards the first door by the others* HEY! I can walk on my own, you know! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically. Door 5: It's Ma-san! After fleeing her wrath, you wind up at... Door 4: It's a squirrel! After it jumps on Zel's head, you shoo it off and proceed. Door 3: It's your normal run-of-the-mill drawbridge. It falls out towards you, barely missing you. Door 2: It's a giant wheel of cheese! You ponder how the hell it got here for a moment, then move on. Door 1: It's a wall. Tinkerbelle comes, waves her wand, and an opening appears. Seating (L-R): Ramza, Zel, Rudy, Lucca, Jack* Zelgadiss: ...so all we have to do is try to make funny comments about this "fanfic"? Rudy: That's about it. Zelgadiss: Even me? Rudy: Yeah. Just try your best, OK? Ramza: *Looking at Zel; mutters* So _that's_ why Rini vanished; we have a guest... >Messila Journey >Part 8 - "Mess-Up Messila." Ramza: I take it Pikachu used its Pika Pi attack again. Zelgadiss: Pika pi...? Rudy: Don't ask. >Fudge! Lucca: Does it have walnuts in it? I don't like walnuts... *rimshot* >Charmander was get weaker and weaker, and they were one >week way from Pearl Bay. Ramza: Not a very good poem, is it? Jack: Additional dialogue by Tatewaki Kunou. >Pikachu get sick in his stuck when >fighting against a Rarias. Zelgadiss: As opposed to fighting a Welldonias. *rimshot* ... yeah, I know that was bad... Rudy: Eh, just don't try to thik about it and you'll do fine, OK? Zelgadiss: If you say so... >She was using Oddish, which was at a >LV 14 according to her brain. Hanpan and Jack: o/~ They're Messila and the Brain/ Yes, Messila and the Brain... o/~ >Iris Joy was wonder if that dim >flame on Messila Charamander was going to disappear any second. Ramza: It did and it died, sending Messila headlong into a deep depression. She eventually slit her wrists and _died_, the end. >"OH! RAIN CLOUDS!" Messila shouted Ramza: CLOUD?!? DIE!! Zelgadiss: ... should he be sedated? Rudy: We tried it before; it didn't work. >"What is that building?" asked Jenny >"Beat me!" remarked Iris "But lets don't look a Gift Ponyta in >it's Mouth." Rudy (The Brain): Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky? Zelgadiss (Pinky): I think so, Brain, but why would anyone put a Ponyta in their mouth? *Normal* That better? Rudy: *nod* Yeah, now you're gettin' it... ^^ >"Ok." >---------------------------------------------------------------- Jack: o/~ Oh, we're the ants who steal your dinner- o/~ *WHACK!* Lucca: Shaddap. >Inside the halls were quiet. The halls were painted a yellow and >orange, the color of a Pikachu. Ramza: Mainly because it was decorated with the carcuses of dead Pikachus. ^_^ Zelgadiss: *Quietly to Rudy* Wanna trade seats? *Anime sweatdrop* Rudy: *Quietly to Zel* Not a chance. >Suprizing, a man with a yellow >hat, and a yellow coat, Jack: *blink*blink* Does this mean Curious George is gonna be there then? >"Greetings, Messila." >"Who in the heck are you?" asked Iris. Zelgadiss (man): My name is... Tim! >"Name is Matthew Gerald Wenker...a.k.a Dr. Thinker, *All but Zel fall out of their seats as the fourth wall crumbles* Zelgadiss: *Anime sweatdrop* I miss something here? <(((.^))>;;; >And you find >my Pokemon Lab. Lucca (Thinker): -where I work on creating Pikachu inflatable toys... female, curvy, human-like inflatables... Mmm, Pikachick... Rudy: LUCCA! SICK! Lucca: Heheheheheh... ^_^ >They are many Pokemon in the world, about 150 of >them. May be more. Right now, I'm having problems with my >Pokedex, the data does come out." Lucca (data): I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it, girlfriend! >He point to a table. On it was a small blue creature with white >wings and a yellow ribbon. Zelgadiss: o/~ Tie a yellow ribbon around the Butterfree... o/~ >To the right of the small creature, >was a yellow Pokedex, and the left of the small creature, is a >red Pokeball, which is open. Jack: Grammar checking courtesy of the Alta Vista Babelfish. >"My job is to find out what in heck is creature is. I was doing a >good job until that Pokemon appear. Ramza: That which the darkened items won't appear! I got a good feeling! >It easy few into my >Pokeball." Lucca: *Ala Yuffie* Gawd, GROSSNESS! Zelgadiss: ... don't ask, right? Rudy: Right. >.<;; >Messila replied. "I'm can help you. He uses mine!" Rudy: Her what? Vibra- *WHAM!* Lucca: Shaddap. >[SORRY...THIS POKEDEX IS OUT OF BATTERIES.] >Messila mubles "What in heck does that means?" *All but Zel look to Ramza, who merely shrugs* >"That means, I have to try to find some batteries!" said Matthew >as he bashed his hand into his face. Lucca: Quoth the Tonberry, DOINK! Jack: Does this mean he's a Thinker's Clue now? >Iris remarks, "This creature looks a third-level bug Pokemon, but >some how, I'm forget it?" Zelgadiss: o/~ Gimme you Pokemon, make it real, or she forget about it! o/~ *Rudy claps* Eheh, thanks... <(((_^))>;; >Jenny said "Either way, it looks something from Japan and it's a >Pokemon. And it's a bug Pokemon." Ramza (Jenny): It likes saying "I'm not touching you". >"What kind of Pokemon is it?" Jack: *Ala Jusenkyo guide* It the very rare Jusenkyo Pokemon! It turn all enemy into Magikarp! Hanpan: ... that actually sounds vaguely interesting, Jack. Jack: Thanks, Hanpan. >------------------------------------------------------------- Zelgadiss (Gourry): Light, come forth! *Normal* No rimshot? Rudy: *shrug* For some reason, it almost never works for line gags... >"Oh! Great? What happen to the Dock?", asked Pokemon. Lucca: He probably took some LSD... Oh, wait, wrong doc. ^^;; >"I'm out of Pokedex Batteries. But I just rember something. >Pokedex can rechange Pokedex. Ramza: And all items available are not unavailable. >I will take a 12 hours. How about >some Cream of Mushroom Soup?" ask Matthew. Ramza (Random trainer): How 'bout we cream _you_? *WHAM!* Lucca: No being mean to Thinker! Rudy (Matthew): I got the mushrooms from Citan. He said they were magical, but... >"Sure!" all three trainers said >------------------------------------------------------------ Zelgadiss: Kagome really needs to work on her aim... >"That's Pokemon is hungry then Tikaras" said Irism whating the >mystery winged bug Pokemon slap his soup. Ramza: Er... "My dad's gonna bite me"? >"What in heck does mean?" ask Messila. Jack: That's what we're asking too, 'Sila. >"Tikaras is a middle side creature that kind of reminders people >of the gaint Elephants...in fact, Tikaras, are Elphants pokemon. Jack (The Tick): Elephant Pokemon? Keen! ^^ >They are only Three Pokemon that can defeat a Tikaras, a Ground >Pokemon, Bug Pokemon and Fire Pokemon, but they must have evlove >into the last formation. Lucca: Escape Formation? Rudy: Could you be more obscure? I think someone actually _got_ that one. >But who knows..but the master of all >Pokemon in the world. Rudy and Jack: Mewtwo! *Rudy looks at Jack oddly* Rudy: By the Guardians, I'm starting to think like him... O.o;; >We haven't find out anything yet. Oh, by >the way. He's your Pokedex back. Rudy (Thinker): And I deleted those naughty pictures of Billy and Bart you put on it! Really, aren't you a bit young to see that sort of thing? *WHAM!* Lucca: Don't even joke about deleting files! Zelgadiss: *blink*blink* Uh, who are Billy and Bart, or do I want to know? *Anime sweatdrop* >[DO NOT BE FOLLOW BY THE YELLOW RIBBION ON ITS NECK. THIS >CREATURE IS A BUTTERFREE] Jack (Fabio): I can't believe it's not Battahfree! >"I heard rumors that Brock comes lot of those riddions." stated >Matthew. Ramza: And he likes to tie Ash up with them and- ^_^ Zelgadiss: FLARE ARROW! *Crispies Ramza* None of us _needed_ that mental image! Rudy: *To the voice* Can we keep him instead of Rini? Please? He's far less destructive and mean... Voice: *Exasperated* No, we cannot keep him instead of Rini, Rudy... >"He has lots of colors. Jack: ... a gang joke would really be in bad taste, right? *All else nod* >Rumor from Tanya that Brock >keeps 100 ribbons in one of the back pocket of his vest. Lucca (Brock): CALL ME _QUEEN_!! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! Hyper's voice: Brock is SS-chan?! O.o;; >Plus, >the Japanese Pokemon trainers lease their Butterfree to meet with >another Pokemon around Oct. 27. Zelgadiss: It's also know as the Day of 1,000 Dead Butterfrees, but that's another story. >How smart is Ash Ketchum?" ask >Matthew. Rudy: 'Bout as smart as Jack... Jack: ................. Lucca, duck. *Lucca ducks as Jack throws a Mystic Apple at Rudy's head* >"Between Wheel of Fortune and Jeopary, sir." said "But he's as >hyper as a Star Trek ship when sad or happy. Rudy (Ash): SURRRRRRRGE! *For the sake of comic timing and for using stock dialgue the apple hits him just _now_* OW! >"OK! Thanks, sir!" said Messila. "Do you mind if I take >Butterfree with me?" Ramza (Messila): *Has recovered from the Flare Arrow incident* I just wanna disect it... uh, I mean _direct_ it! I make independent films! Yeah, that's the ticket! >"It's doesn't matter. I have most Butterfree that anyone has." >stated Matthew Zelgadiss (Matthew): They're MINE! They're _ALL_ MINE! *badly- done insane laughter*cough*hack* dammit... Hanpan: Zelgadiss...? Trying to be funny...?! And succeeding (sort of)...?! By the Guardians... O.o;; >"How many?" ask Messila. >"100 Butterfrees in my special grass room." said Matthew. Rudy: Ah, so he _IS_ a friend of Citan. Zelgadiss: *To Rudy* Who _is_ this Citan guy you people keep bringing up anyway? Rudy: *To Zel* I'll tell you later, OK? >"So the rooms were true." said a voice. >"Gossip!" shouted Matthew. "Or should I shout, Tanya!" Jack (Tanya): You'd better or you're sleeping on the floor again, buddy! >"How in heck do you know?" ask Tanya. >"I have a Internet fetish." replied Matthew. Lucca (girlfriend): But why would you _want_ to have sex with a computer?! Rudy (boyfriend): Because I CAN! Zelgadiss (Stan; shocked): Dude, how do you have sex with a computer? *All stare at him; speaking normally* ... sorry. *blush* >------------------THE END---------------------------------- Jack: If you insist... *Moons the screen* Rudy: *Puts a paper bag with eye holes cut out of it over his head* And all the other RPG heros will point and say, "There's the boy who's friend mooned a theater screen!" Oh, the shame of it all... >So Ash's Butterfree becomes Messia's Butterfree, what esle will >happen. Rudy: A shot will ring out... Lucca: The maid will scream... Zelgadiss: And Lina will Dragu Slave another village into oblivion... >-------------------------------------------------------------- Zelgadiss: Detach here. Dispose of top portion. Rudy: Good, but it's been done before. Zelgadiss: Then it's a classic. Can we go now? Rudy: Yep. *All exit* *Reverse door sequence* [SOL] *Zelgadiss and Rudy are on the bridge. Zel is dressed like Wayne Campbell and Rudy as Garth* Zelgadiss: I feel like a fool. Rudy: Oh, come ON! It'll be funny! ^^ Zelgadiss: I don't do comedy, Rudy. Rudy: Well, you do now! Zelgadiss: Tell me just _why_ we're doing this? Rudy: Because you refused to play Ben Stein for the "Win Zel Stein's Money" sketch. It's your line, by the way. ------------------------------------------------------ Zelgadiss: *Sees the row of dashes* I don't think that's my line... Rudy: PIKA PI ATTACK! DUCK! *Ducks and pulls Zel down with him. the Pika Pi attack goes over their heads* All right, I _demand_ to see who's responsible for this! *A Pikachu walks in on the counter* Pikachu: Pi-ka-chu! o^_^o Zelgadiss: That answer your question? Rudy: Yeah, but where'd it come from? Voice: Eheh... That Raichu that ended up here a while ago had babies. They're all over the place now. ^^;; Rudy: That can't be good... *The lights shut off. The bridge is pitch black* Voice: They musta crewed through some wires. I'll send Lucca and Charlotte to fix it. Zelgadiss's voice: GAH! WHO JUST GROPED ME?! Rudy's voice: YAI! Who just groped _ME_?! Male voice: Sore wa, himitsu desu! ^_^ Rudy's voice: I thought we had you banned from here! Male voice: Just the theater, Rudy. And obviously, this isn't the theater. Well, since we're all in the dark already... ^_^-<3<3<3 Zelgadiss's voice: FLARE ARROW! *Rudy fires the Prism Ray ARM at the same time as Zel sets off his spell. The bridge is temporarily lit up from the light of the two attacks as they find and meet their target: Xelloss. For no other reason other than it could get really nasty there...* *FWOOOSH!* *Fade to black* *Roll credits. Fighting can be overheard...* Zelgadiss's voice: Lemme see that whatchamacallit you're holding, Rudy... *Sounds of shots fired* Rudy's voice: Nice work, but I can do better... GUARDIAN SUMMON! Zephyr, come forth! Xelloss's voice: What's a- *KA-BOOOOOOOOOOM!* --------------------------------------------------- THE REAL END E-mail comments to me at: Lessa990@aol.com Or you get to see Zephyr close up. ^^ >"Between Wheel of Fortune and Jeopary, sir." said "But he's as >hyper as a Star Trek ship when sad or happy. Lookie, a shameless plug! Organized Chaos! http://www.crosswinds.net/~rinichan My own site. Beware the Temporary Portal, er, Picture of the Week; It can lead you to strange things... Season one: ------------------ Episode 101: "Battle of the Strongest" Episode 102: Raging Double Feature ("Wild ARMs Rage" and "Toshinden Rage") Episode 103: "The Cursed Waters" Episode 104: "The Jonathanlizers" Episode 105: "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story" part 1 Episode 106: "The Return of Lord Thinker" Episode 107: "Get Rich Quick" spam. Episode 108: "Don't Freak Out" Episode 109a: "The Price of Redemption" parts 1-3 Xenogears interludes: ------------------------- Episode 109b: "The Price of Redemption" parts 4-5 Episode 201a: "Messila's Journey" part 1 Episode 203: "Ash's New Friend" Episode 206: "Emerald Nights" part 1 Episode 207: "Pokemon Gangbang" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 301f: "Messila's Journey" part 6 Season Two: ---------------- Episode 202: "Why RPGs Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development" Episode 201b: "Messila's Journey" part 2 Episode 201c: "Mesilla's Journey" part 3 Episode 204: "FFVII: The Untold Story" part 2 Episode 205: "Behind the Scenes" Episode 208: "Beloved? Yeah, Right" Season Three: ------------------ *Special!* Episode 300: "The Happy Spell" Episode 301d: "Messila's Journey" part 4 Episode 301e: "Messila's Journey" part 5 Episode 302: "Decency Patrol #2" Episode 303: "Slayer Arms" part 1 Episode 301h: "Messila's Journey" part 8 Other MSTings: ------------------ Episode 000: "Rebirth" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 001: Stephen Gohan's letter to the GIA (MSTed with Katana Angel) *Coming soon!* Episode 002: "Cloud Vs. Aeris" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 003 or Fortuna Fanfic Theater 5000 episode 9: "10-chi Returns" (MSTed with DadyTengu)