"KYOJIN NO BAKA!!! BAKA!! *raspberries until he's being stomped on*" -Kazumi Ryuudo luring out the Dancing Giant, "Haunted Junction" Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Final Fantasy Tactics and Chrono Trigger are copyrighted by SquareSoft. Wild Arms is copyrighted by Media Vision and Contrail. Suikoden 2 is copyrighted by Konami. Trigun is copyrighted by Yasuhiro Nightow, Young King Ours, and Shounen Captain Comics. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; "Messila's Journey" is owned as always by the ever... something Dr. Thinker. No offense or other bad stuff was intended with this MSTing. No strategists-turned-Mads were harmed in the production of this MSTing. One Trickster Priest, however, _was_ shoved into a Pokeball. Chibi-chan's notes (a.k.a. Other Stuff) Watashi wa walrus desu. I am the walrus. With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ (Singer) In the not too distant future, In a surprising little twist, Our interpid villianess Mala-chan Was overthrown by an angry twit! MSTer-turned-Mad, the strategist Klaus, Was hassled by Rini without a pause. So instead of leaving quietly, He put Mala under his control and took up her cau~se! (Rini: Why... that... little...!) (Klaus) I'll send them crappy fanfics, The absolute worst I can find! (Lalala!) They'll have to sit and read them all, And they'll surely lose their minds! (Lalala!) (Singer) Now keep in mind they can't control Where the fanfics begin or end. (Lalala!) To try to keep their sanity, Upon each other they must depend! RIFFER ROLL CALL! Rudy! (LOVE AND PEACE!) Rini! (Kick! Punch! Chop!) Ramza! (I got a good feeling!) Lucca! (I got MAD SKILLZ!) Miiillyyyyyyyyyyy! (I am a very unique individual!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science fact, Just think to yourself, "It's just a file, I should really just relax, For 'Idiotic Fanfic Theater Whatever' *Twang!* [The SOL (Not the Satellite of Love, tho')] *Rudy sits on the couter on the bridge. He seems to be working on something in a sketchbook. He pulls back a little, looks at the page, cringes, and starts erasing part of presumably a picture. The camera tries to get a little peek at what he's working on, but...* Rudy: Do you _mind_? I don't look over _your_ shoulder when _you're_ working, _do_ I?! *The camera pulls back* There, better. *The yellow button flashes* Eh, we'll be right back. *Reaches over and presses the button* -------------------------------------- Announcer: New to Broadway! The Deathscythe Plushie Review! *A chorus line of plush versions of Deathscythe and Deathscythe Hell dance on a stage. They are all wearing little top hats and holding little canes* Plushies: o/~ One!/ Singular sensantion, every little step she takes! o/~ Announcer: Disturbing, ain't it? *WHAM!* Voice: Is not! It's _cute_, dernit! >_< Announcer: Yeah, if you're on mushrooms or something. Voice: You _DARE_ insult Chibi the Mighty?! WA-TAK!! Announcer: ... mommy! ------------------------------------------------------ Rudy: *Turns to the P.A. speaker* Well, I thought it was kinda cute. Voice: ... huh? Rudy: I said I thought it was kinda cute. Voice: Er... thanks? I, uh, gotta go lie down for a bit... *click!* Rudy: *blink*blink* All that because I said something nice? I gotta remember that. *Lucca enters from the right, holding some kind of small green plant, commonly known as "mistletoe". Rudy "eep!"s and closes the sketchbook* Lucca: Hello, Rudy! Do you know what time of year it is? ^_^ Rudy: Uh... winter? Lucca: *sweatdrop* Oh, that's right, you wouldn't know, with the whole Filgaian thing and all... Rudy: What do you mean by that?! Lucca: Not what it sounds like, I assure you. I just meant you wouldn't know of other world's traditions, that's all. *sigh* *The red button flashes* Well, Pixie, Dixie, and Mr. Jinx are calling... *Presses the button* [Evil Central] Klaus: Well, so far, so good. No sign of mom yet. Maybe I can send _THE_ fic today after all... Female voice: *Off-stage* Oh, Kla~aus! Klaus: Or not. O.O;; *An average-sized woman with long black hair dressed like a generic Suikoden II female NPC enters from the left* H-hi, mom! ^^;; Klaus's mom: Hello, dear! *Hugs Klaus* How's my baby boy doing? ^_^ Klaus: Fine, but... how did you get in? Klaus's mom: Oh, this nice lady with green hair let me in. So, what are you doing here~ *Xelloss phases in some distance behind Klaus. Klaus's mom lets go of her son* Xelloss? Is that you? You said you'd call me all those years ago, you jerk! *Summons mallet* Xelloss: *Stunned enough to open his eyes* Gloria?! O_o;; Gloria: So _glad_ you remember my name, you little punk! Klaus: Uh... mom? When did you meet Xelloss? Gloria: *Unsummons mallet* Well... eheh, I've been meaning to tell you, son... Klaus: You mean he's... Xelloss: I have another one? And he's... *With eyes wide open, he puts his hands on his cheeks, and...* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOT HIM! He's pathetically bad at evil! He _CAN'T_ be my son! Klaus: Like I'm thrilled about this either, Xelloss! Mom, couldn't you have made some sort of mistake?! Gloria: *Shakes her head* Nope. He's the one. Klaus: *Turns to the screen* If I'm gonna be miserable, so're the rest of you! "Messila's Journey", part 13! I hope it goes down hard! *Hits the send button _hard_* [SOL] *The light flash and klaxons go off* Rudy: *Sets aside bowl of popcorn* Damn, I wanted to keep watching this family drama unfold. Lucca: Well, never mind that now, WE GOT THINKER SIGN! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically. Door 5: It's Colonel Fussenpepper! You have to fly(!) past him. Door 4: It's Piro! You have to pry Rini off of him to continue. Door 3: It's your normal run-of-the-mill drawbridge. It falls out towards you, barely missing you. Door 2: Who's that Pokedoor? It's Mr. Mime! (Mr. Mime: Mr. Mime!) Door 1: It's a wall. Tinkerbelle comes, waves her wand, and an opening appears. Seating (L-R): Ramza, Rini, Rudy, Lucca, Milly* Rudy: Really, Rini... Piro? Rini: Well, he's better than Anathus. *shish-THOOM!!* Voice: Is not! >.< >Messila Journey -- >Part 13 - "A New Rockets" Rini: o/~ Got-ta ro-cket/ In your po-cket/ Stay loose, boy... o/~ >by Dr. Thinker >------------------------------------------------------------ Milly: o/~ It's electric!/ Boogie-oogie-oogie! o/~ All else: ??? Milly: Line dancing. ^_^ *All sweatdrop* >At the Hersey City, Messila have beening lucky in catching some Ramza: -bullets in her teeth? >Pokemon. Ramza: Oh. Drat. >Messila and her friends got a some candy bar. Rudy and Rini: Candy bars? Where?! ^_^ *Both look at each other oddly* >Right now, >Messila. Ramza: Hmm... Very Cartesian, Dr. Thinker. Well said. *All look at Ramza blankly* That went right over your heads, right? *All nod* >"Sorry about give your some candy bar. Have you been here >before?" asked a work. Lucca: Pick-up lines, Thinker style. >"No." replied Messila and her friends. Milly: o/~ Come on in,/ Come to the place where fun never ends;/ Come on in,/ It's time to party with Messila and Friends! o/~ >"We been trying to keep our secert from Team Rocket, so they >can't make their 'Team Rocket' bars." Rudy: Their secret: Cheese puffs. Lots and lots of cheese puffs. Rini (Fez; whiny): My cheesy puffy friends are now my enemies! >replied another work. "So >about battle you." Lucca (worker): On behalf of punishment, I will MOON you! Rudy: *Whispers to Lucca* Doesn't sound like punishment to me... Lucca: *Whispers back* Oh really? What _does_ it sound like? Rudy: *Still whispering; blushes* Well... Rini: *a-HEM!* Do that stuff on your on time, OK? >"That's Ok! Give more expence to that dumb Psyduck." replied >Messila. Ramza (Messila): *Takes out a sheet of paper; pretends to read from it* And... a bullet to the head. Rini (Psyduck): PSY?!? >"When did you catch that Pokemon?" ask Tanya. Rini (Messila): When the moon was in the seventh house and Jupiter aligned with Mars... >"It was at 5:00 at night." replied Messila. >"Do you know that Psyduck gives trainers headaches?" replied a >voice. *All look to the P.A. speaker* Voice: It's not me! Sheesh, why do you look this way whenever there's a disembodied voice in a fic?! Rini: You made it a running gag, remember, boss? Voice: Oh, right, eheh... ^^;; >"Who are you?" asked Messila. >"Linda Beans, supervisor here at Hersey." replied Lina as she >come out. Rudy (Lina): All right, I admit it! I did have "relations" with Naga! ... and Philia... Amelia's playing hard to get... *WHAM!* Rini: Rudy, _no_. >She looked a tall fat lady, wearing farming clothes. Various Xenogears character's voices: o/~ E-I-E-I-OOO! o/~ Rudy: ... the hell? >"How did you know? I'm always have headaches." replied Messila. >"I trained Psyducks myself." replied Linda. "Can you help us?" Milly: o/~ Help!/ I need somebody,/ Help!/ Not just anybody,/ He~e~elp! o/! >"Sure!" replied Messila. >----------------------------------------------------------------- Milly: o/~ Heel,/ toe,/ Do-si-do,/ C'mon, baby, let's go... boot-scootin'! o/~ >"So that's girl that get Riki and Roland fired!" Ramza: ... out of a CANNON! >replied Taira. >"Good thing, I got all 6 of Pokemons really for battle!" Rini (Taira; badly dubbed): I will WA-TAK!! them to the next dimension! OHOHOHOHO! >"Great!" replied Thomas, "We going to show those upstarts that >they can't beat us!" Lucca: My, _someone's_ been reading the "Stock Villian Dialogue Handbook"... >"Reminder, they did us!" replied Taira. All: O.o; Ramza: Did we miss something here?! O.o;; Rudy (Messila): Oh, Taira-darling, I have something to show you... ^_^ *WHAM!* *Normal* Yeah, I knew that was coming... >"Oh, but that one time! Our Pokemon have got some more points in >the EXPRIENCE dept since that Klassam's idea, you haved." replied >Thomas. "We been easily steal candy like it was from a baby.!" Ramza (whoever's speaking): A winner is us, you spoony bard! >"Oh, great! When ever some evil doing on televison saids that. >They are going to regret saying that." replied Thomas. All: ..................... Milly: Ano... if he said that, then who... *Points to the line above this line* Rudy: We've long since given up trying to make sense of these things... >"Let's keep the one the up!" replied Taira. "Let's just get in >and get the item." *Little windows appear over Ramza, Lucca, and Rudy's heads. They read...* Ramza's window: Er... "stuff" acquired! *blush* Rudy's window: "Rally's Bromide 4" acquired! Lucca's window: "Gundam Wing Doujinshi" acquired! >"Ok." replied Thomas "Go! Golbat!" >"GO! Fearrow!" replied Taira. Rudy (Haruto as random Team Rocket member): Dancing Giant, I choose YOU! >-------------------------------------------------------- Milly: o/~ Don't tell my heart/ My achy-breaky heart... o/~ Rini: Must... resist... urge to mallet... >"FEAR BIRD AND A GOLD BAT!" replied a worker who was rushing in. >"That's means, a Golbat and Fearrow got in!" replied Lina. Rudy (Lina): But not for long. Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows... Mariabell: *Appears* Someone call for a Crimson Noble? *All sweatdrop. She vanishes* Lucca: That was... random. Rudy: Quite. >"I'm going with you!" replied Messila. Ramza (Messila): I'll just use my Sword of Light! >---------------------------------------------------------- Milly: o/~ Play meeee... that mountain music,/ Like Gran'ma and Gran'pa used to play... o/~ >In the office of Linda Beans, the Golbat and Fearrow are making >mess of things. Rini (Presea): O-HO! _You're_ the ones who were messing up my office! I _have_ to come up with a suitable punishment for you... OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! >Another two Fearrow appear. >Fearrow uses Gust attack Messila's Fearrow, but missed. Milly (Messila's Fearrow): o/~ Missed me! Missed me!/ Now you gotta kiss me! o/~ >The >Fearrow and Golbat gets hit, by a brown parrot-like Pokemmon Rini (Takeru): Pokemmon is a dangerous virus-type Digimon! Watch out for its "Poke, Poke, POKE!" attack! >"What is that thing?" asked Messila. *Rini summons a mallet and looks menacingly at Rudy and Lucca* Lucca and Rudy: .......................... >"My Pokemon." replied Lina. Rudy (Lina): I also have a Mazoku Pokemon, but I feel uneasy about letting him out of the ball... Xelloss's voice: I AM _NOT_ A POKEMON! >_<; Voice: Oh yeah? Pokeball, GO! *thonk!*fwoosh!* Xelloss's voice: *Muffled* wemme oudda hewe! wemme oud! >"I usually never saw anything at my >Pokedex doesn't have anything on it, since it come from Japan. > thought Tanya. Ramza: I am reminded of what a wise man once said here... Rini: What's that? Ramza: "Elementary penguins singing Hare Krishna, man, you shoulda seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe!" Rini: ... oookaaaaaaay... >"Let's me, my American made on." replied Messila. Milly: o/~ Look for, the union la-bel,/ When shop-ping for a shirt or a blouse! o/~ >Pokemon buzz for a bit. [Choraya, the parrot Pokemon. Lives in >the Amazon Rainforrest. Rudy (Shampoo): Aiya! Grandma, why it raining so much? Lucca: I could have lived without the mental image of you as a bad version Shampoo, Rudy. -_-; Voice: Say, Rudy as Shampoo? Now that's an idea for a pic... Rudy: ... crap... >Sometime get trap in trains that >transports banana and coca beans to place in North American. >Choraya is one Power creature! Beware when you cross it!] Rini (Choraya): Choraya SMASH! Duo's voice: Cross cannon? ^_^ Rudy: Please don't drag Trigun into this... -_-; >-------------------------------------------------------------- Milly: o/~ 'Cause I'm shameless.../ When it comes to loving you.../ I'd do anythang... at all... o/~ >"What HAPPENM TO MY FEARROW!" asked a familar voice Lucca: It got "WA-TAK!"ed. Get used to it. >"I don't know. But it work my Golbat looks like got into a >fight!" replied another familar. Rini: SCOOT! Kawaii squirrely-baby-kins-chan! ^__^ Rudy: I think that was suppoised to be familiar _voice_. Rini: ... eh, bite me, brat. >"Taira and Thomas of Team Rocket. Right?" ask Messila. Rudy: Why, _noooooooo_, It's Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson of the Bernadelli Insurance Agency. WHO ELSE COULD IT BE?! *All look at him oddly* Eheh, sorry, been listening to a little too much Lewis Black lately. ^^;; >"How did you guess?" ask Taira. >"Your Klassam plan was a good plan, but easy to mess up." replied >Tanya. Milly: Ano... then it wasn't that good a plan then, now was it? >"Just remember we been back!" replied Taira. "Let's go!" >"Sure thing! TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" Ramza (The Human Bullet): FIRE me, boy! >----------------------------THE END------------------------------ >NEW POKEMON: >NAME: Choraya Rini: *Chanting* Cho-ra-ya! Cho-ra-ya! Cho-ra-ya! >RACE: EASY-GOING PARROT >TYPE: NORMAL/FLYING/PYSHIC Rudy (Narrator): "Pyshic" denotes a drinken medium. >POKEDEX: Choraya loves to eat coca beans and bananas, unlike >Primeape, he doesn't mind attack or Pokeball durning it's meal. Lucca: He _does_, however, mind the Mexican Staring Frogs of Sri Lanka. Those just creep him out. *All exit* *Reverse door sequence* [SOL] *Rudy's back on the counter with the sketchbook. He seems very focused on what he's doing. So focused that he doesn't even notice Xelloss phasing in and glomping onto him* Xelloss: You gotta protect me! >_<;;; Rudy: *Not looking away from the picture* Why's that? Xelloss: She's trying to get me to _MARRY_ her! >_<;;; Rudy: You'd make a lovely couple. Xelloss: No, we wouldn't! I thought I'd never see her again; that's why I went for her! Please, just make her go _AWAY_!! >_<;;; Rudy: And what do you expect me to do? If _you_, a darn powerful general-priest to Zelas, can't make her go away, what make you think _I_ can? Xelloss: Think about it: Guns are very rare in her world. You have enough firepower to take out a small kingdom. I think that's enough to scare her off. Rudy: Yeah, but I don't like you. Why would I help you? Xelloss: You're a RPG main character! It's your duty to help those in need! And, if you couldn't tell, I'M IN NEED, DAMMIT!! >_<;;; *Gloria drops through a portal from the ceiling* Gloria: There you... HUH?! You're...?! Hmph, no wonder you never seemed particularly interested in me back then... Xelloss: *lightbulb* Yes, yes, I am! I am! Meet my darling Rudy. Say hello to Gloria, Rudy! ^_^ Rudy: *Tries to do a Heero Glare of Death (TM) at Xelloss* ... omae o korosu, Xelloss. ["I will kill you, Xelloss."] Gloria: Oh, he's foriegn? Xelloss: Yes, very. ^_^ Gloria: *sigh* Well, it'd be silly of me to keep pestering you... Farewell, Xelloss. *A portal appears under her, dropping her in* Xelloss: *Sighs in relief* That could have been worse than it was... Rudy: Xelloss, I wasn't kidding. Let go of me or I _will_ kill you. Xelloss: Oh really? I'd like to see you try it. ^_^ *Lucca enters from the left* Lucca: *Thinking* Heh, this should be a good test... *Takes out a "Pokeball" from Inventoryspace; out loud* Bishieball, GO! *Throws said "Pokeball" at Xelloss's head. He gets pulled into it* Yes! It works! ^_^V Rudy: *Sets the sketchbook down and gets down from the counter* Thanks. He was starting to get annoying. *Pause* Well, more than usual. Lucca: Any time. *Notices the open sketchbook* Oh, what's that? *Both Lucca and Rudy grab for the sketchbook. Lucca manages to get it* Rudy: *Flustered beyond all belief* It's nothing! Really! Just give it back... ^^;; Lucca: Oh, one little peek won't hurt! *Looks at the page Rudy was working on. It's a picture of her in an incredibly elaborate kimono... well, what's done of it, anyway* Hmm, nice... looks like it's a pain in the butt to draw, tho'... Rudy: You have no idea. Can I have that back now, please? ^^;; Lucca: *Grins* Nuh-uh. I wanna see the other pictures! *Runs off* Rudy: *Eyes go wide* Hey, wait just a minute! O_O;;; *Runs off after her* [E.C.] *A different room than the one we normally see. It seems to be just a generic living room. Klaus is flopped down in one of the chairs in the room* Klaus: _Finally_, mom went home. Could this day _possibly_ get more stressful? *The door opens wide, showing Mala-chan _without_ the Slave Crown 2.0, Marle, and B-ko. All three are armed and look really pissed off* Me and my big mouth... *Fade to black over sounds of violence* *Roll credits* --------------------------------------------------- The REAL End Comments? E-mail at: lilka@senshi.net Or... uh... I'll do... er... stuff? >"Oh, great! When ever some evil doing on televison saids that. >They are going to regret saying that." replied Thomas. Lookie, shameless plugs! Organized Chaos! (My RPG humor site) http://www.crosswinds.net/~rinichan *~swearing to the sky~* (My Wild Arms shrine) http://www.angelfire.com/wa2/filgaia Season one: ------------------ Episode 101: "Battle of the Strongest" Episode 102: Raging Double Feature ("Wild ARMs Rage" and "Toshinden Rage") Episode 103: "The Cursed Waters" Episode 104: "The Jonathanlizers" Episode 105: "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story" part 1 Episode 106: "The Return of Lord Thinker" Episode 107: "Get Rich Quick" spam. Episode 108: "Don't Freak Out" Episode 109a: "The Price of Redemption" parts 1-3 Season Two: ---------------- Episode 202: "Why RPGs Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development" Episode 201b: "Messila's Journey" part 2 Episode 201c: "Mesilla's Journey" part 3 Episode 204: "FFVII: The Untold Story" part 2 Episode 205: "Behind the Scenes" Episode 208: "Beloved? Yeah, Right" Season Three: ------------------ *Special!* Episode 300: "The Happy Spell" *Special!* Episode 208b: "Beloved: A Vampire's Tale" Episode 301d: "Messila's Journey" part 4 Episode 301e: "Messila's Journey" part 5 Episode 302: "Decency Patrol #2" Episode 303: "Slayer Arms" part 1 Episode 301h: "Messila's Journey" part 8 Episode 301i: "Messila's Journey" part 9 Episode 304: "Killey" part 1 Season Four: ------------------ *Special!* Episode 400: "Crystal Rainbows" part 1 Episode 401: Miscellanious Miscellany ("Chick Tract" parody) Episode 403: "Killey" part 2 Episode 404: "Killey" part 3 Episode 405: "Genso Suikoden: Super Stars of Destiny" Episode 406: "Genso Suikoden: Moving On Up" (Part 2 of SSoD) Episode 407l: "Messila's Journey" part 12 Episode 408: "Slayer Arms" part 2 Episode 409: "Genso Suikoden: Super Stars of Destiny" part 3 Episode 410: "Messila's Journey" part 13 Xenogears interludes: ------------------------- Episode 109b: "The Price of Redemption" parts 4-5 Episode 201a: "Messila's Journey" part 1 Episode 203: "Ash's New Friend" Episode 206: "Emerald Nights" part 1 Episode 207: "Pokemon Gangbang" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 301f: "Messila's Journey" part 6 Episode 301g: "Messila's Journey" part 7 Episode 305: "An Interesting Twist" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Episode 402j: "Messila's Journey" part 10 Episode 402k: "Messila's Journey" part 11 Other MSTings: ------------------ Episode 000: "Rebirth" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 001: Stephen Gohan's letter to the GIA (MSTed with Katana Angel) Episode 003 or Fortuna Fanfic Theater 5000 episode 9: "10-chi Returns" (MSTed with DadyTengu)