"And a little babe... what the hell is _he_ supposed to be?!" -Alhazad about "Sunny Xelloss" in "Zelgadiss the Rapper" Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Suikoden 1 and 2 are copyrighted by Konami. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; Er, there's rather lemony stuff in this. Proceed with caution. Under 18 or squemish, turn back while you can. ^^;; "The Happy Spell" is owned by Mousse. No offense and/or bad stuff is intended with this MST. It's all in fun, really. No smartass mage boys were harmed in the production of this MST... besides Luc. Chibi-chan's notes (a.k.a. Other Stuff) Uh, er, damn... nothin' to say, really... Oh, Hugo and Emilia are the two librarians from 1 and 2 respectively... I thought It'd be cute for them to seek out the fanfics. ^^;; With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ [A stage] Rini: Due to the content of this fic, neither of our groups seemed qualified to tackle this fic. So, in cooperation with Idiotic Fanfic Theater Whatever, we present to you a special; Mystery Suikoden Theater 108! Cue the theme song, boys! -------------------------------------------------------- (Singer) In the not-too-distant past, In a strange and war-torn land, The 108 Stars of Destiny Have gathered once again! Against the might of Luca Blight, An evil guy who was not too bright, Well, after then won, with some help from some Stars of the past, There was nothing to do but try to have a bla~st! (Hugo) Well, you could play with mediocre fanfics, The strangest that we can find! (Emilia) You can try to make them funny With whatever comes to your minds! (Singer) Now the Tenkai Stars from the past two wars Agreed to this plan. But it's still a test of sanity, So they brought along some friends! STARS OF DESTINY ROLL CALL! Jowy! (I'm not a Star!) Nanami! (I'll protect you!) Kasumi! (Depend on me!) GREMIOOOOOOOOO! (THE STEW!!) If you're thinking that this is contrieved, And stupid to no end, Just don't think about it; just sit back, And simply relax, For Mystery Suikoden Theater 108! *Twang!* [In the lobby] Jowy: *Looking at the theme song* Two to one Chibi made that up as she went along. The Hero from Suikoden 2 (who I have dubbed Shawn): Nah, that's a sure thing. *CRASH!* Nanami: *sigh* Enough demolishing of the fourth wall, you two. Jowy and Shawn: Sorry, Nanami. *McDohl and Gremio enter* McDohl: OK, Emilia and Hugo got it set up! Jowy: Uh, what are we gonna read? McDohl: I think they said it was something called "The Happy Spell". Shawn: What, is it the story of the Marijuana Rune? *snicker* Jowy: *snicker*chuckle* McDohl: Hell if I know. We'll see when we get there. Gremio: Shall we go, Young Master? McDohl: Sure, Grem. *All file into the theater* *No door sequence; it's just a regular theater. >p Seating (L-R): Gremio, McDohl, Jowy, Shawn, Nanami* >The Happy Spell Shawn: The Playstation summon? Nanami: M&M's materia? Jowy: No, no, it's the Catherine Zeta Jones summon! ^_^ McDohl: I'm beginning to like the way this kid thinks. ^_^ Gremio: *sigh* Young Master... >An Suikoden fanfic by Mousse McDohl: Do we get to see Shampoo then? ^^ >All characters are owned by Konami. >This ecchi story starts off in the Imperial Capital, >Gregminister, at the palace. As >you know, anything to do with the Empire is evil. *Gremio and McDohl throw popcorn they got who-knows-where at the screen in protest* Jowy: Slight difference in opinion, I take it. >Three figures were having a >discussion in the throne room. Shawn: *Flatly* Read: Poker game. Jowy (Random figure): Dammit, where'd the other two go? Nanami (ditto): Who cares? Let's look at their cards! >Is it about the >Liberation Army which is increasing >by day and is succeeding in overthrowing the Empire? >Well, not really... Shawn: Like I said, poker game. McDohl: _Strip_ poker, to be exact! ^_^ Gremio: Young Master! >"Emperor Barbarosa has been quiet lately." said Kasim >Hasil, one of the five >imperial generals. "What shall you be doing tonight?" Nanami (The Brain): The same thing we do every night, Kasim; TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! >Lady Windy, the court magician, paced the floor. "It's >been awhile since I've seen >my beloved sister. Gremio: ... the author said it was a "ecchi" story, right? *McDohl nods. Gremio pales* Uh oh... O.o;; >I hear she has been helping the >Liberation Army. Maybe I shall >give her a little present." Jowy (Windy): I shall give her... A SHRUBBERY! Shawn and Nanami: Ni! Ni! Ni! >Kuwanda Rosman, another of the five imperial generals, >was very confused. Gremio: Is that Kwanda's evil twin? Kuwanda: *In the back of the theater* MW'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Gremio and McDohl: O.o;; >"Why >do you want to give your sister Leknaat a present if >she's helping the bad guys?" >Lady Windy smiled evilly. "Not all presents have to be >good." Gremio: You mean fruitcake, right? >She held her hands >in front of her, palms up. "Spirit of the lust, hear my >call. Visit my younger sister, >Leknaat on Magician's Isle and give her the award I >desire to give her so." Jowy (Windy): Give her that damn fruitcake! Shawn (Xelloss): Wait a minute! Can't we talk about thi- Nanami: Fwoosh! Jowy (Windy): Heheh, no one plays with my runes and lives, priest boy. >In a flash, a red spirit appeared and flew out of the >castle. As you know, Kuwanda >Rosman and Kasim Hasil were under Lady Windy's influence >(via the Black Rune >she gave them) and said nothing. Jowy: We've secretly replaced Kuwanda and Kasim with Shawn and McDohl under normal circumstances; let's see if she can tell the difference. Shawn: *To McDohl* Should we be offended by that? McDohl: *To Shawn* No, but I'm still gonna smack him upside his head for that. *WHACK!* Jowy: OW! >In the castle hovering overhead Magician's Isle, Mistress >Leknaat was reading >over some astrological predictions she had discovered that >day. Nanami (Leknaat; reading out loud): Leo: Good day for you! Money and love are headin' your way! >She wondered if >she should do anything with Luc. Gremio: Like cutting off his head. Nanami: Need someone to hold him down? *McDohl and Shawn aquire anime sweatdrops* >After all, he came all >the way to Magician's Isle >to see his teacher. Jowy: Quistis Trepe? ^^ McDohl: Yeah! *Chanting* Quistis! Quistis! Quistis! >Suddenly, she felt a pain course >through her as the spirit of >lust possessed her. Nanami (Lust spirit): It's MY Leknaat! MINE! >Her eyes became hollow and she stood up. Shawn: -and dressed up like the Evil Luna... McDohl: Say.... ^^ Gremio: *Exasperated* Young Master... ~.~;; >"I think I will find out what Luc is doing." she said in a >monotone voice. >Mistress Leknaat, possessed by the spirit of lust, walked >down the long path and >to the ground by a pond. Jowy: Then she fell in and drowned, thus ending the story. >She could faintly hear Luc humming >to himself. Shawn (Luc; extra sarcastic): Hmm hmm hmm, I'm gonna get "accosted" by Leknaat, but it's in the script so I can't do anything, hmm hmm hmm... >Her >fourteen year old apprentice was taking a bath in the pond, >hanging his clothes >on an overhead tree. Nanami: -where Mukumuku peed on them and set them on fire... Gremio: Nah, it'd be better if that squirrel-thing did that to _Luc_ himself. Nanami: Good point. McDohl: Gremio... ~.~;; Shawn: Nanami... ~.~;; >His back was turned to her. She could >envision his soft, >shoulder length brown hair, lively green eyes and pale skin >in her mind. Jowy: And it was roasting on a spit! Oh, the humanity! Gremio and Nanami: Heheheheheheh... ^_^ Shawn and McDohl: .......................... ~.~;; >"Luc," said Mistress Leknaat. "Come here." Jowy (Luc): Already? McDohl: Wow, that's gotta be the quickest seduction in the history of the world! >Luc leaped in the air with his clothes and draped a long >towel over him. He threw >off the towel, his clothes now on, and landed in a kneeling >position in front of his >Mistress. Shawn: Luc _is_ B-ko in reverse! >"You called, ma'am?" he asked. >Mistress Leknaat walked to him and kneeled to his level. >"Luc, let me hold your >face." Gremio: RIIIIP!! *Nanami giggles evilly* > Luc was hesitant so Lady Leknaat held >his chin gently in her hand. Leknaat used >her other hand and roamed her fingers around her apprentice's >lips. Nanami: o/~ Oh, give me a home/ Where Leknaat's fingers roam... o/~ Jowy: Don't say that too loudly; it might inspire a lemon fic. Nanami: A what? >"Mistress Lekn-" Luc started. >Leknaat shushed him. "Just 'Mistress' will be fine." she said >as she went in for a >kiss. Voice from within the Soul Eater (Leknaat): But I'd rather you CALL ME _QUEEN_! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! McDohl: Odessa?! The hell?!? O.o;; Odessa's voice: Eheh, sorry... ^^;; >Luc struggled, turning his face to the side and shoving himself >away from his >teacher. McDohl: But why'd he want to get away from Quistis? >He tried to teleport away but Leknaat held onto the >legs of his pants, >causing him to fall face-first into the ground. McDohl: Um, I'm pretty sure teleportation like he does doesn't involve moving like that... ^^;; >Luc clawed at >the ground, trying to >get away but it was of no use because Leknaat's magic was >holding him back. Shawn: o/~ If anybody ever tries to hold you ba~ck/ You gotta kick a little... o/~ >Leknaat pulled Luc's pants off as she caressed the soft skin of >his legs. Her head >nuzzled his round, creamy buttcheeks. Nanami: Creamy Buttcheeks, with 25% more moisturizer! ^_^ >Luc cried out as loud as >he could, even >though he knew for a fact that they were the only two on the >island. All: *Hum "Gilligan's Island" theme song* >"You have a beautiful cry, Luc." said Leknaat. "Let me hear >you cry for more." Jowy (Luc): OK. *Ala Lucy* WAAAAAAAH! I wanna be in the show! >Luc clenched his teeth, trying not to cry. He felt very upset, >scared and >uncomfortable. McDohl: *Sarcastic* Gee, I wonder _why_. >He turned his head around to see some spirit >that had possessed >his Mistress! Shawn: It was the Sprirt of St. Louis! Jowy (Luc): Wings? What the #^*%? >'Mistress Leknaat,' he thought, 'please forgive me." He held his >left hand forward. >"Wind Rune!! Show your power!!" Nanami (Luc/Ash): Wind Rune, I CHOOSE YOU! >A wind razor flew through the air and through Leknaat, instead >damaging the lust >spirit. Leknaat fell on the ground. The lust spirit came after him. Jowy: So there still was sex after all? O.o;; McDohl: Weird... O.o;; >"Tell me who is it that sent you." Luc demanded. >"Lady Windy." the lust spirit replied. Luc was surprised that it >answered. "I love >pre-pubescent boys!" Nanami: We'll sell you Luc, then! Gremio: Hell, we'll just _give_ him to you if you want! >Luc blasted it with a teleportation spell and sent it to another >dimension. All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! O.o;; Jowy: It's been SABANIZED! O.o;; Shawn: That's just plain EVIL! O.o;; >He >grabbed his pants, shed a few tears and teleported away to the >imperial capital, >Gregminister, muttering something about a Lolitia complex. Jowy (Holographic Elw): Do not seek Lolitia in her tomb, for she is the bound in the "Land of Light"... >The throne room was empty except for the presence of Lady Windy. A >half-miffed, half-curious Luc appeared behind her. Windy sensed the >young >apprentice's magical aura. Nanami (Shirley as Windy): Oh what a loon I am... Oh what a loon I am... >"Ah, Leknaat's young apprentice." she said. "I was expecting you." Jowy (Windy): I was also expecting that my sister would be glomped onto you saying "I love you I would date with you", but I can't predict everything. >"What have you done to Mistress Leknaat?" Luc asked coldly. >"Done?" Windy repeated. "I was only thinking about how sad my little >sister has >been lately, so I decided to cheer her up." Shawn: The pot brownies would have worked better. Nanami: ... and just _HOW_ do you know that, Shawn?! Shawn: ... sore wa, himitsu desu. ^^;; *Jowy tries his darndest to look innocent. McDohl chuckles at this* >"Yeah right." said Luc. >Lady Windy crossed the floor and stood in front of Luc. "You're a >cute little boy. Nanami: Yeah, cute like a plague-infested _rat_. Gremio: *Mock chiding* Now, now, don't insult plague infested rats, Nanami. >Just because you're so cute, how about I give you a rune? It's >purpose is to make >people happy." Jowy: It's the Marijuana Rune! Shawn: Ooo... *WHACK!*WHACK!* Nanami: Bad Jowy and Shawn! No reefer! >Luc looked away. "I don't trust you." McDohl: Yes, that's what one would normally say when offered someting mysterious and magical by someone bent on your destruction. >Lady Windy held Luc's face in her hand. Nanami: RRRRIIIIP! ^_^ >"Trust me. I will imbed in >you the >magical rune that will make people happy. See for yourself. And >don't worry about >your Wind Rune, I assure you that the spells will not clash, nor >will it cause you >any harm." Shawn (Windy): It'll just cause you to turn into a girl when splashed with cold water. *Jowy hums the first season Ranma 1/2 theme* >Luc wasn't sure to trust Lady Windy but this didn't sound like a >bad idea. >Perhaps he can make someone - like that annoying Lotte - so >deleriously happy >that everyone else will decide to get rid of him/her. He will >show everyone! Odessa's voice (Luc): OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! McDohl: OK, this is getting frightening... O.o;; >"Okay." >Lady Windy smiled. She let go of Luc's face and held her hands >in the air. "Now >stand still. This won't hurt a bit. Jowy: -except for the searing pain you'll get whenever you walk... oh, wait, that's "The Littlest Sea-Maid"... ^^;; >It feels just the same as >having a normal rune >transferred in you." McDohl (Windy): Except that you can't ogle Jeanne this time. Shawn: Bummer. >Lady Windy cast a spell on Luc. A glowing yellow sphere >encircled Luc and then >disappeared into his body. Luc blinked. Nanami: And realized he was BLIND! He promptly walked off a nearby cliff, the end! >"That's it?" he asked. >"That's it." Lady Windy answered. "Now all you have to do is >ask the rune to >show its power and the spell will happen. Return to your >castle where the 108 >stars lie. Perhaps there are unhappy people there." McDohl: I smell a set up. Shawn: *sniff*sniff* I smell something burning... Jowy: *sniff*sniff* Hey, yeah! What _is_ that? Gremio: *Realizes something* THE STEW! *Runs out of the theater. Kasumi is promptly punted into the theater* Voice outside the door: Just stay in there until Gremio returns, OK? Kasumi: *Gets up and dusts herself off* That's no way to treat a lady, you know! Voice: Ah, bite me. *Kasumi takes the now-empty seat next to McDohl* >Luc said nothing and teleported away. >Lady Windy grinned evily. "It is a happy spell...Truly a >happy spell..." Nanami: See? See? It _IS_ the M&M's materia! Jowy and Shawn: *Roll their eyes and mutter* pot rune... >That night, Luc wandered around the second floor of Toran Castle, McDohl: _Sand_ Castle. *All look at him weird* Yeah, I'm not sure what I was thinking at the time either. Shawn: Did it have something to do with the Mari- *Sees Nanami wielding her weapon menacingly* Uh, never mind... >thinking about >what Lady Windy said. Everyone else was getting worried - it was >not like Luc to >mull over anything. Kasumi (Random castle inhabitant): He's not being a smartass! Something _MUST_ be wrong! >"To make people happy..." Luc said to himself softly. He frowned. >"Why do I want >to do that?!" Jowy: Then there won't be a plot, DUH! >Luc closed his eyes but every time he even blinked, that evil >vision of Leknaat >returned to his mind. Luc shook his head violently. Shawn (Luc): I knew I shouldn't have peeped when she was trying on that leather number- *WHACK!* Nanami: BAD SHAWN! Don't be weird boy! >"No way! She was possessed! Lady Leknaat would never do something >like that!" McDohl: Not unless you get a few drinks in her, ROWR! *WHAM!* Kasumi: MATT NO BAKA! >Luc exclaimed out loud. Some people looked at him strangely. >"I'm so depressed," Luc heard Futch complain from another room. Nanami (Futch): My attempt at taking Luc's life failed... *sigh* >Luc went to investigate. The room was outside and had a lovely >view of the moon >reflecting off of Toran lake. McDohl and Jowy: Then it'd be a patio... HEY! >The elves and the kobolds that >usually hung around >that area were missing. Seventeen year old Hix and fifteen year >old Futch sat >side by side on a log overlooking the lake but both were too >occupied in their own >thoughts to notice the view. Shawn: Look! It's a Log! Shawn and Jowy: o/~ What rolls down stairs,/ Alone or in pairs,/ Rolls over your neighbors dog?/ What's great for a snack/ And fits on your back?/ It's Log, Log, Log! o/~ ^_^ Nanami: Must... restrain... Golden Bird Holy Flower Dragon Tooth Glory Punch... >Hix is a novice from the Warrior's >Village and Futch >is a 9th class dragoneer from the Dragon's Den. Why would they >of all people be >together? They didn't even know each other. McDohl: *Sudden realization* They're unhappy... Jowy: *Ditto* But they're both guys... O.O;; McDohl: There's no good reason for this pairing... Jowy: This is gonna hurt. O.O;; All else: ??? >"I'm depressed. I-I'll never be a true warrior..." Hix mumbled, >mainly to himself, >resting his arms on his knees. Kasumi (Hix): o/~ I'm a loser, baby/ So why don'tcha kill me? o/~ >"Tengaar is so angry at me >but...I guess I'm not >cut out to be a warrior after all. I can't live up to everyone's >standards." Shawn: Just pray your father didn't make a promise to your mother like Ranma's dad did, Hix... ^^;; >"I'm depressed. Poor Black..." was all Futch said. Ever since >his beloved dragon >died, all he could think of was Black. Jowy (Art critic): And Futch moved into his much darker "Black" period, where much of his most emotional work was done... >His unruly brown hair >became more and >more unruly by day. As a law, whenever a dragoneer loses his >or her dragon, he >or she is no longer allowed to stay at the Dragon's Den. Shawn: *Winces* Ouch. Nanami: That's harsh, man. >Even if >Futch lost Black >to the evil Lady Windy, he still blames his loss on himself. He >tries to convince >himself that Black saved him but Futch knew too well the truth. McDohl: That... Black was really trying to kill him? Kasumi (Black): Uwee, hee, hee! Die, dragon boy! Jowy (Still a critic): And her latest performing art was reminicient of Kefka and Ghaleon... *WHACK!* *Normal* Thanks, I needed that... >Luc entered the room. "Perhaps a relaxation spell would work?" >He suggested. >The other two were too depressed to answer. McDohl and Jowy (Hix and Futch): ... bite me, Luc. Jowy: *To McDohl* We're gonna regret saying that line... *McDohl nods* >Luc cast the spell >anyway. "Rune, >show your power. Cast your spell on Hix and Futch." Nanami (Luc): Rune, Hypnosis! >A soft red glow came from his left index finger and became a >gentle mist which >encircled Hix and Futch. The mist gradually died down. Nanami: Our new super-fine Red Passion Mist (TM)- Kasumi: -with Retsin (TM)! *ping!* ^_^ Nanami: -absorbs faster than all other leading brands! ^_^ >They sat >exactly the >same way they were a few minutes ago. Luc blinked. McDohl: Maybe Luc should see an optometrist about that. >"I feel good." said Hix. >"I feel good." said Futch. >"I feel so good." said Hix. >"I feel really good." said Futch. McDohl: o/~ I feel good./ I knew that I wou~ld now!/ I fee~~~l good! o/~ Shawn and Jowy: *Ala Nanami* See?! See?! It _IS_ the Marijuana Rune! *WHACK!*WHACK!* >Hix fanned his baggy yellow shirt. Despite the cool outdoor >breeze, he was >starting to sweat. "I'm feeling hot." All: o/~ Feeling HOT! HOT! HOT! o/~ >"Me too." Futch agreed, although he knew for sure he wasn't as >hot as Hix was. >For some reason, though, he felt really horny. He felt his >erection tingling >underneath his armor. Shawn: (O.O);;; Jowy (Spiderman as Futch): My Spider Crotch is tingling! *Normal* I feel so dirty now.... ~.~;; Nanami: He-LLO! That's one heck of a surprise to spring on us! ^^;; McDohl: *Mumbling* i miss ted... >Futch frowned deeply. 'What the heck an >I doing?' he >thought. McDohl: Hix, most likely. ^^;; >Hix is usually a shy boy but at this point, he didn't care if >anyone else was in the >room. Shawn: He just had to SING! Jowy (Hix): o/~ Somewheeeeeeere over the rainbooooow... o/~ >He took off his sleeveless jacket followed by his yellow >shirt. *Both girls wave singles at the screen* Shawn: NANAMI! McDohl: KASUMI! Nanami: ... I thought it'd be funny. ^^;; Kasumi: *Ignores McDohl* Bring out Matt-sama! McDohl: *blush* KASUMI! Please stop this! ^^;;; >Hix's clothes >were soon joined by Futch's ornate dragon armor in one pile on >the ground, >leaving the apprentice dragon knight wearing a green turtleneck >and other >undergarments. Nanami: I see London, I see France; I see Futch's underpants! ^^ >Only now Futch took the time to take in Hix's shy, >boyish >features - McDohl (Futch): Now they're MY boyish features! MINE! >the silky black hair shining in the moonlight, the >innocent dark eyes, >the healthy glow of his skin... Kasumi: *gasp!* He's radioactive! >"Make it stoooooopp!!!" Hix cried in a loud voice no one knew he >had. "It's soooo >hooooot~~!" All: o/~ Feeling HOT! HOT! HOT! o/~ >Futch held Hix's boyish face in his hands, looking into the >young warrior's dark >eyes. "I'll make it stop." Jowy: SPLASH! Shawn (Futch as Jusenkyou Guide): Oh, this water from Spring of Drowned Anime Cat Girl! Nanami (Hix; female): W-WHAT?!? >Hix looked up earnestly as Futch's lips came into contact with >his. Jowy: *Darkly* -permanently, thanks to some super glue. They slowly starved to death after that, the end. >Hix closed his >eyes and shuddered slightly as Futch ran his fingers through the >young warrior's >black hair, undoing the blue bandanna around Hix' head. McDohl: Then hung himself with it, the end. Kasumi: Matt... ~.~;; >"Mmmmmhhhhhhuuuu..." Hix tried to say but was interrupted by >Futch's tongue >probing into his mouth, exploring every part of the older boy's >mouth. Nanami (Ike): Anal probe. *Jowy and Shawn fall out of their seats* Jowy and Shawn: NANAMI! O.o;; McDohl: Wouldn't doubt it, tho'... ~.~;; >Futch held his arms on Hix's back as the young dragon knight's >mouth ran down >the warrior's neck, kissing his way to Hix's chest. Shawn: *In disbelief* His MOUTH has legs?!? O.o;; >Hix moaned, >wrapping his >arms around Futch, holding him closer to his aching body. Jowy: What, is he covered in that Icy-Hot stuff? *rimshot* >"Please...so hot..." Hix gasped, rubbing his body on Futch's. >"Need...relief..." Nanami (Hix): Get the... Alka-Seltzer... Jowy and Shawn: o/~ Plop, plop/ Fizz, fizz/ Oh, what a relief it is... o/~ ^_^ >Futch continued his oral job and was now down to Hix's stomach. >He flicked his >tongue teasingly at the naval. Kasumi (tongue, French accent): I fart in your general direction! Jowy and Shawn: o/~ In the navy- o/~ *WHACK!*WHACK!* McDohl: NO VILLAGE PEOPLE SONGS! >Hix gasped. Futch grabbed the >young warrior by >the top of his pants. Shawn: REVERSE WEDGIE! Jowy: Reverse Atomic Wedgie, Futch! Go for the Reverse Atomic Wedgie! Nanami: Jowy, Shawn, please shut up... ~.~;; >"Can I see your sword?" Futch asked, grinning wickedly. >"My...sword...?" Hix gasped between breaths. >"It's...by the...clothes pile..." All: ................. ~.~;; McDohl: *sigh* Could he _be_ more naive? >Futch stomped his foot in frustration. "Not that sword, THIS >sword!" he cried, >yanking down Hix's pants and undergarments, watching the >warrior's shuddering >erection in fascination. Shawn: GAH! O.o;; McDohl (Tom Servo as Hix): I'M HUGE! Kasumi (Futch): No, you're not. Jowy: *Weakly* Now watch as Futch twists it into a poodle shape, next on "Ripley's Believe It Or Not"... Nanami: *Staring* .............. O.O >And with a manhood like that, the >village elders called Hix >a novice? McDohl: Well, he probably lacks in stamina. Shawn: Urking! URKING!! O.O;;; Jowy: Must... not... make... "Little Donny Foundation" comment... >.< Nanami: *Still staring* .............. O.O >"Hix?" >"Hmmm?" >"Did you name this sword Tengaar, also?" McDohl (Cartman as Hix): It's _called_ a "fireman", OK? >"What are you talking about?" Hix demanded. "Tengaar is so >hot...she wants to >cool down...please cool her down!!" Jowy: SPLASH! Shawn: *Weakly* That was from Spring of Drowned Tenkai Star... McDohl (Tengaar): JUDGEMENT! *Shawn makes sounds of pain* >Futch looked around. "Tengaar wants to make out, too?" >"No, Futch! THIS Tengaar!" Hix declared, shoving his entire >erected manhood into >Futch's mouth. All: O.O McDohl: Looks like Futch exaggerated, no? ^^;; Nanami: *Still staring* .......... O.O;;; >Futch was shocked at first but then relaxed >as he sucked on >Hix's sword. Hix cried out for more and more and more... Jowy (X-pac): I got two words for you- MMPH! Shawn: *Still covering Jowy's mouth* Jowy, don't. ^^;;; >All this time, Luc was watching in numb shock. He couldn't >move. He was >paralyzed to the floor, unable to do anything. "Oh my god, >what did I just do?" he >said. McDohl: Nothing; Futch did all the work- *WHACK!* Jowy: Don't... remind us. ~.~;;; >Hix and Futch noticed Luc and looked up. The darker haired >warrior turned to Luc >and smiled his lovely shy smile. Kasumi (Hix; dumb): Duuuh... rabbits eat lettice. >"Luc, thank you very much. >We feel so good >now. (But I still feel hot.)" Jowy: o/~ I know you are the wild, and violent flame/ I can still, smell your smoke and I can't play straight with your game... o/~ >Futch got an idea. He turned to Hix and grinned evilly. >"Hix, let's thank him." Shawn (Futch; "redneck" accent): Hix, get the diesel fuel... Nanami: *sigh* I knew letting you watch those "Darkwing Duck" cartoons was a bad idea... ~.~;; >"O-okay." Hix agreed. >Luc took slow, mortified steps back as Hix and Futch's hands >came closer to his >young, nubile form. All: ((O.O));;; *All flee the theater* [In the lobby] Jowy: *Peter Puppy pose* Imustnotfearfearisthemindkillerfear isthelittledeaththatbringstotaloblivion... ^^;;; Shawn: *Shaking badly* Don't let it get to you man, don't let it get to you... O.O;;; McDohl: Oh man, the kids are in really bad shape... Gremio: *Enters the lobby* *sigh* The stew's ruined... what happened to them, Young Master? McDohl: Uh, er... Kasumi, you mind? ^^;; Kasumi: Luc. Spell. Hix. Futch. "Swordplay". Need I add verbs? Gremio: *Repeats in a mumble what Kasumi just said, then realizes...* No, no, that's not necessary. ^^;; Nanami: *Trying to snap Jowy out of his state* C'mon, Jowy! As long as we're with you, this... _thing_ can't hurt you! It's just a state of mind! Jowy: ... Hix, Futch, I won't let it stay in my mind? Nanami: Exactly! ^_^ Jowy: Yeah, I can survive this! Leave it to... JOWY! *guitar riff* Shawn: *Muttering to himself* C'mon, man, you're a hero to so many, you can't let this get to you... but what can I do? *Lightbulb* Yeah, I know! I gotta BELIEVE! *dramatic pose and musical sting* McDohl, Gremio, and Kasumi: .............. ~.~;; McDohl: Dude, the writer's played one too many games of Parappa and Lammi... *CRASH!* All else: FOURTH WALL! McDohl: Sorry! ^^;; *All file back into the theater* *New seating arrangement (L-R): Kasumi, McDohl, Gremio, Jowy, Shawn, Nanami* >"AaaaaahhHH!" Shawn: Evil Luna's back again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! McDohl: You don't have to stay, Kasumi... Kasumi: *shrug* I don't have anything better to do right now, so I'll just stay a little longer. >"Oh my god!" Gremio cried, running around the kitchen like >the worrywart he is. >"The stew! The stew!" Jowy (Gremio; insane): THE STEEEEEEW! It's trying to _KILL_ MEEEEEEEEEEE!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! >"Worry not, Gremio." said Antonio, smiling as usual. "We'll >take care of dinner." >"But..." Gremio protested. Shawn (Roxy): Those are our butts and these are our ears! ^^ McDohl: *blink*blink* You watch too many cartoons, kid. >"It's OKAY!" said Lester, holding his pan in a threatening >manner. Despite his >lean appearance, he was capable of hurting anyone that came >in the way of his >stews. Nanami (Lester): You _DARE_ mess with my stews?!? WA-TAK! >Gremio frowned. Sarah was doing the laundry, Antonio and >Lester are taking care >of the stew, the only thing left for him to do is check on >the young master. Gremio: *Mutters* Unfortunately, the young master was "busy" with Ted, who somehow appeared there and he accidentally walked in on that... McDohl: *!!* *Whispers to Gremio* You... knew about that?! Gremio: *Whispers back* Just because I turned a blind eye to it doesn't mean I didn't know about it, Young Master. >Last > time he heard, Young Master was taking a >bath in the new tub Sansuke installed >on the second floor. 'All Sansuke knows how to do is install >baths for young >master to lounge around in.' Gremio thought sarcastically. Kasumi: *Confused* How is that sarcastic? McDohl: *To Gremio* Uh, how long did you know, Gremio? ^^;; Gremio: *To McDohl* Longer than you'd expect me to know. I even threw your father of the trail when he became suspicious of you two... He wasn't all that fond of the idea, you know... >Gremio had taken care >of the young master ever since young master McDohl was an >infant, raising him >as his own. Because of this, Gremio feels like a fater to the >young master and >may worry a little too much. Kasumi: A _little_?! HA! McDohl: I... thanks, Gremio. Gremio: It was nothing, Young Master. Shawn: Waitwaitwait, if this is the next pairing, why the _HELL_ did they just tell us that little fact?! O.o;; Jowy: To make you vomit. Shawn: I KNEW that! >Tossing his long blond hair >aside, Gremio checked >in the elevator and went to the second floor. Nanami: Tossed his _hair_?! That's a WIG?!? Gremio: Is not! >On the elevator, Gremio was surprised to see Luc in there as >well. Luc was still >wondering what went wrong with his new spell. Jowy: Well, if you don't have any snacks, you gotta do _something_- *WHACK!* Nanami: It is not, repeat, NOT the "Marijuana Rune"! >In case you're >wondering, Luc had >'properly disposed' of the over-eager Futch and Hix. Shawn: GYAH! O.O;; Jowy: *Cringes* No, I was _not_ wondering about that! Nanami: Bomp chika bow wow... ^^;; Shawn and Jowy: NANAMI! >The two >are now clothed and >asleep in their respective rooms. Luckily, Milia, the other >dragon knight in >residence and Tengaar, Hix's childhood friend, are clueless >to what the two boys >had done. McDohl: But we aren't so lucky... *shudder* Gremio: Glad I missed that... ^^;; >"Going anywhere?" Gremio asked. Kasumi (Gremio): Besides hell, I mean. >"Mmm..." Luc mumbled. >"Oh." said Gremio. He thinks of the young apprentice as a >troublesome burden >and therefore didn't like him too much. McDohl: You _THINK_? >"You worry a lot." said Luc. >"I do not!" Gremio exclaimed with an indignant toss of his >blond head. Shawn: *Makes the sound of it rolling, then...* CRASH! Jowy: Woo hoo! Strike! We got a perfect game! ^_^ >"Then why does Young master say that you worry too much?" Luc >asked, >recalling the carefree laughter of Young Master McDohl. Kasumi (McDohl; badly dubbed): I laugh at your worrisome ways, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! >Gremio didn't answer. Luc shrugged. 'Maybe I should test out >the spell again.' he >thought. 'I already tried it out on young master before went >to the bath...' Gremio: I beg your PARDON?!? O.O;;; McDohl: Eheh, it could be worse... Gremio: And just _HOW_ is that?!? O.O;;; McDohl: Could've been Luc. Nanami and Gremio: Urking! URKING!! >He held >his left index up and silently chanted the incantation. The >red mist appeared >again and encircled Gremio. Shawn (Luc/Sailor Venus): Apprentice Love Men MIST! *Both Shwan and Jowy break into hysterical laughter* Nanami: *Mutters* I knew I shouldn't have let them watch Sailor Moon with me... ~.~;; >The elevator door opened on the second floor. Gremio came out, >feeling very >anxious to see the young master - very anxious... Kasumi: Well, look on the bright side, Gremio... ^^;; Gremio: And that is...? Kasumi: Uh, um... McDohl: Uh, that you're getting some from someone cute? ^^;; Gremio: Oh yes, that's _very_ helpful, Young Master. ~.~;; >"Ah," said Sansuke. He stood outside the doors of the hot tub >just in case there >were any accidents there. Shawn (Little kid): Mr. Sansuke sir, Lizzie peed in the bathtub! Nanami: Not _that_ kind of accident, Shawn. >"You're here to see the Commander? >He's inside." >"Thank you." said Gremio in a strangely quiet voice. Jowy (Gremio; thinking): All work and no play makes Gremio a dull boy... must kill Young Master... Can't let them get onto me... >The 27 year old servant stepped inside. Sure enough, in the >new bathtub was >teenage young master, washing himself in a bubble bath. Jowy and Shawn: *snicker*chuckle* ^^ McDohl: Shut up. Just shut up. >For >once, his green and >purple bandannas were off and laid on the side along with the >rest of his clothes. Kasumi: Wha? NAKED MATT-SAMA! ^_______^-<3<3<3 McDohl: *blush* Kasumi, _please_! >All his shiny jet black hair was visible, especially those >long bangs which fell to >both sides of his angelic face. Jowy: Angel? AAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET THE EVAS! >He smiled and hummed to >himself as he ran the >soap along the smooth skin of his delicately muscled arms. Kasumi: *Stares enthralled* Ooo... *Drools a little* >Gremio's heart >skipped a beat. Shawn: He's having a heart attack! Jowy: Yay! Then this story will end! ^^ >"Y-young Master...may I come in?" Gremio stammered. >The young master looked up and saw Gremio. "Sure." he smiled >in his usual >carefree manner. "Come on in." Nanami (Gremio; smooth): Don't mind if I do. *wink* *Gremio falls out of his seat* Gremio: Please don't do that again, Miss Nanami. ^^;;; >Gremio stepped inside the room while young master resumed >what he was doing. >The sunlight came in through the windows, shining on young >master. Alex's voice: It's the Sunbeam of DEATH! RUN! >He could >have been an angel. He is an angel. *Shawn begins singing "One-Winged Angel"* Jowy: A Hell's Angel, that is. >The servant felt very >envious of Master Teo >McDohl for bringing into this world a son so lovely. Nanami: o/~ Tale as old as time/ *mumble* to say that least/ blah blah blah blah blaaaaaah/ Then somebody bends/ Unexpectedly... o/~ >Gremio >forced back his >thoughts. He should be doing something else besides standing >there and >gawking at the young master. Nanami: Like stripping! Gremio: *Falls out of the seat again* NANAMI! Kasumi: *Still staring and drooling* Ooo, Matt-sama... >"Young master, m-may I scrub your back?" >"Sure." complied the young master. Shawn: Funny time to be talking about deodorant. *rimshot* >Young master McDohl turned around and handed Gremio the >washcloth. Gremio >rolled up his sleeves and scrubbed his young master's back, >while with the other >hand caressing his young master's pale skin, savoring its >smoothness. Jowy: You know, what disturbs me isn't the scene per se, but the fact McDohl doesn't even _notice_ he's being felt up. McDohl: Yeah, I'm not _that_ dense. ^^;; Gremio: No, sad to say, you're denser than that. McDohl: Gremio! Gremio: Sorry, Young Master... ^^;; >Young >master is beautiful all over. He couldn't appreciate him like >this. Jowy: *Way too cheerfully* So he poured cement into the bath and turned McDohl into a statue, the end! ^_^;; Shawn: You feeling all right, Jowy? Jowy: Of course not! *sniffle* I wanna go ho~~me... >"Young master, may I come in the bath with you?" > Young master shrugged. "Sure. Why not." > Gremio took off his clothes in a neat >pile and joined the young master. Nanami: Booyaka! ^_^-<3 >The two >guys sat in silence looking at each other. Gremio's heart >raced faster and faster. McDohl: Then it exploded and made a big mess. >He had to tell young master how he feels. Shawn: With his hands? *rimshot* >"Young master," Gremio said out of the blue. "Do you think >there are enough >suds in the bath?" Jowy: Gremio, Master of Smooth... NOT! >Young master sweatdropped. "Gremio?" >"Yes, young master?" Gremio asked. His blue eyes misted over >and had a funny >look in them. Shawn: ACK! Ghaleon got to Gremio! Jowy: *Pictures Gremio dressed as Evil Luna; shudders and whacks Shawn upside his head* Don't you EVER say that again! O.o;; >He felt giddy and lightheaded. His heart was >going to burst at any >moment. Shawn and Jowy (Wayne and Garth): Ka-BOOM! *mild laughter* >"Can you give me a massage?" Nanami (McDohl): A... sensual massage? *wink* Kasumi (Gremio as Kathy Griffin in a male voice): Sometimes I would like to touch the tender parts... McDohl and Gremio: NANAMI! KASUMI! Kasumi: Well, it was wide open for comments... ^^;; >Gremio's eyes flew open. 'Yes oh yes, young master! Thank >you for the honor I >have so long dreamed of!' he thought but all that came out >was a controlled "Yes, >young master." Shawn (Torgo as Gremio): ThE MasTeR ApPRovES! >Young master turned around and leaned on the end of the >bath as his servant >gave him the massage. Jowy and Shawn: o/~ I hope someone gets my/ Massage in a bott~le.../ Massage in a bott~~~le... o/~ ^^;; >Gremio's gentle hands worked up and >down young >master's back, Jowy: o/~ It might be you, or maybe you, my mind is jumping back and forth and up and do~wn! o/~ >easing the pain from tense muscles underneath >baby-soft skin. >Gremio's hands worked their way lower and lower as young >master moved higher >and higher until Gremio's hands rubbed upon young master's >beautifully curved >behind. Nanami: With 25% more moisturizer? ^^;; Kasumi: No, no, you're thinking of the Creamy Buttcheeks. That only has 10% more moisturizer. >"Young master..." Gremio breathed. >"Gremio..." said young master. "Why--?" McDohl: -are we stuck in this @#(!*^ fic?!? Gremio: Language, Young Master! McDohl: *sigh* Sorry... >Gremio raised his right hand and brought it down sharply on >the rounded cheeks >before him. Young master winced. Shawn (Gremio): You DARE talk back to Gremio the Mighty?! WA-TAK! >"Don't talk back to me, young master! Stay still and don't >say anything!" Gremio >commanded. Jowy (Gremio/Cartman): RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!! >"G-Gre..." McDohl (himself): Grenseal? What the hell are you doing here?! Gremio: GLOMP! Kasumi (Grenseal): I love you I would date with you... >Gremio brought his hand down again for a hard slap to young >master's rear. "If >you don't be quiet, I'll have to spank you some more!" Jowy (Gremio; French accent): Now go away or I shall spank you a second time-er! Gremio: WHATWHATWHAAAAAT?!? O.O;; >"Then please, Gremio! Spank me!" McDohl: I BEG YOUR PARDON?!? I am _NOT_ into that, thankyouverymuch! Gremio: *Mutters* that's not what ted said... ^^;; McDohl: That was different! I wasn't on the recieving end! Shawn: I am _not_ hearing this! O.o;; >Several minutes passed. Young master's butt was now a pretty >shade of red. Nanami and Kasumi: It's vermillion! All else: .............. ~.~;; >Young master panted hard. He was in pain, but good pain >somehow. McDohl: Urge to kill... rising... >Gremio was >also panting hard. It was now he had to tell the boy how he >felt. Gremio: *Extremely sarcastic* Oh yes, putting the one a person love through great physical pain and _THEN_ telling them how you feel is _PERFECTLY_ logical! *Fumes* >He lowered >himself to young master's level. >"Young master, I..." Gremio started. Nanami (Gremio): I wanna shag you 'til I can't- MMPH! Shawn: That's enough of _that_, Nanami! >Young master turned around and looked innocently into >Gremio's lovely blue >eyes. Gremio came closer to the young master and lightly >brushed the young >boy's lips with his own. Kasumi: Funny place to have hair... *rimshot* >Young master was surprised at first >but then relaxed as >Gremio deepened the kiss. Nanami: o/~ We go deep and then/ We get no sleep... o/~ >Gremio's lips were soft but young >master's lips were >even softer, melting in the man-servant's mouth. Shawn: But not in his hand! ^^;; *rimshot* >The older >blond fondled his >young master's developing chest, All: *blink*blink* Shawn (Jusenkyou guide): Oh, he fall in Spring of Drowned Anime Catgirl too! >tracing circles with his >hands and lightly >teasing the younger boy's nipples. Jowy (Gremio): Neener, neener, neeeeee~ner! >The younger held his arms >around Gremio and >undid the long ponytail, letting the long strands of cornsilk >come free. Shawn and Jowy: o/~ But they don't got/ What we got.../ Corn. o/~ >"Young master..." said Gremio. >Young master smiled. "Shall we?" McDohl (himself): -go on an insane killing spree? Gremio (himself): Only if we can get the author or Luc first. *shish-THOOM!* Voice: NO AUTHOR FLAMING! >A few minutes later, Luc decided to check up on Gremio to see >if his spell >worked. He teleported in the bath house and to his surprise >what did he see? Nanami: ALIENS! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Shawn: NAGA! Oh, the horror! Jowy: CATHERINE ZETA JONES! Ooo... ^^ McDohl: AND CAMERON DIAZ! Yippee! ^^ Gremio: A-AND JODIE FOSTER! Booyaka, even. ^^ *Notices the stares* What? >Outside the door, he saw Cleo and Pahn eating popcorn, deeply >engrossed at >watching something. Shawn: Hey, I remember those too! Weren't they like old family friends of yours, Matt? McDohl: Yeah... That's what makes this even worse... O.o;; >"Pass the popcorn, Pahn." said Cleo. >Pahn reluctantly handed the giant bag to Cleo. "Don't eat it >all. I'm hungry." McDohl: Excuse me; I'm going to go bang my head against a wall until I become unconscious. *Gets up and walks to the closest wall. He proceeds to bang his head against the wall* Gremio: May I join you, Young Master? Please? ^^;; McDohl: Sure. *Gremio gets up and does the same as McDohl* >Luc poked his head in between the two watchers of "Masterpiece >Theatre" to see >Gremio and the young master having too much fun. Shawn: o/~ "Too much fun," what's that mean?/ It's like a girl too pretty; there's no such thing! o/~ >Sansuke ran >inside to see >the same picture. He screamed. Shawn (Sansuke): TETSUOOOOOOOOO!! Jowy (Sansuke): KANEDAAAAAAAA!! Nanami (Sansuke): FEIIIIIIIIII!! Kasumi (Sansuke): SAOTOOOOOMEEEEEEE!! >"Aaaaaah! My bath house! Commander, what are you up to?!" McDohl: *Completely out of it* Uh... three and a half? @.@ Gremio: *Ditto* Naw, that's how many cups of sugar it takes to get to the moon! @.@ McDohl: Right, silly me... @.@ >Young master and Gremio looked up from what they were doing. >Gremio and >Young master were both under the water with Gremio on top of >the young master. Jowy: That means they'dve probably drowned and be dead! Nanami: THEY'RE ZOMBIES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! >Luckily, the suds were in the way for Luc and Sansuke to see >anything. For >Sansuke, his bath was ruined. For Luc, his life was ruined. Nanami: And there was much rejoicing! ^_^ Gremio: Yay? @.@ >"That doesn't make sense!" Alen snapped. Kasumi (Alen): I mean, Zelgadiss and Xelloss as a _couple_?! That's not right! Shawn: I'm not listening! o/~ LALALALALALALALA~ o/~! >.< >"It makes perfect sense!" Greenseal snapped back. Nanami ("Greenseal"): One can love _and_ hate someone at the same time! It is _so_ plausible! Shawn: Still not listening! o/~ Kick! Punch! You all remember!/ Chop-Chop back again, yes forever! o/~ >.< >"How can someone as ugly as you be part of the pretty boy >attack?" Alen yelled. >"I, on the other hand, am too handsome to be on the pretty >boy attack." Jowy (Alen): o/~ I'm/ Too sexy for that sissy-named attack/ Too sexy for this fic/ So sexy, ye~ah~! o/~ >"Yeah, so handsome you look ugly!" Greenseal yelled. >The two former retainers to the late Teo McDohl were yelling >so loudly early that >morning, they awoke everyone else. Kasumi (McDohl): Dammit, I _knew_ I shouldn't have installed the PA system! McDohl: *Back to normal* Dammit, it didn't work! Gremio: *Ditto* My head hurts even worse now... >The late risers weren't >very pleased about >having awoken so early. Valeria, who hung around the area >close by, looked as if >she was about to kill them. McDohl: Faster, Valeria! Kill! Kill! >A groggy Luc came into the scene. >"Wha'?" he asked. Jowy and Shawn: o/~ What's the buzz?/ Tell me what's 'a happening!/ What's the buzz?/ Tell me what's 'a happening! o/~ Nanami: And what's a MSTing by Chibi without an obscure theatrical reference? *CRASH!* All else: FOURTH WALL! Nanami: Sorry! ^^;; >Valeria blinked upon seeing the disheveled state of the >young apprentice. Kasumi (Valeria): Oh my, Gremio maimed him again... >Apparently, Luc hadn't gotten any sleep after the disturbing >incidents of last >night. "Luc! Did you get into a fight with Lotte again?" Shawn (Lotte): You DARE mock- MMPH! Jowy: We've already filled our "WA-TAK" quota, Shawn. Shawn: Dammit! >Valeria asked teasingly, >knowing Luc's rivalry with the female mage. Shawn (Luc): Damn that Lina Inverse! Jowy: Wrong female mage. Shawn: Your point is...? Nanami (Jowy): *Reflexively* -only for you, baby! Shawn and Jowy: NANAMI?!? O.o;; Nanami: Sorry, reflex. ^^;; >Luc shook his head and saw Alen and Greenseal fighting. 'One >last try with the >Happy Spell and if it doesn't work, I'll be really angry.' >he thought. McDohl (Luc): You won't like me when I'm angry... Gremio: We don't like 'im anyway. >p >Once again, the red mist flew through the air as Luc cast the >spell, causing >everyone in the area to see nothing but red. Jowy: Uh oh, here comes Chewcudda... Shawn (Female duck alien): Nevah show Chewcudda anything red, not evahn yer tahngue! >When the mist >cleared, Alen and >Greenseal weren't agruing at each other's arms, they were Jowy: *Hopefully* -firing ARMs, killing each other and ending this story? ^^;; >arguing IN each >other's arms. Jowy: Dammit! Kasumi: What, are their arms hollow? *rimshot* >Luc fell over as well as Valeria. >"Luc, what did you just do?" Valeria asked. Nanami (Luc): Hix and Futch... oops, I mean, sore wa, himitsu desu. ^^;; Shawn: Jowy, since you're closer, smack McDohl for corrupting my big sister. Jowy: 'K. *WHACK!* McDohl: Ow! I didn't do nothing, I SWEAR! ^^;; >"I-it did it again!" Luc exclaimed. He turned to Valeria. >"Not you too..." McDohl: Valeria in a sex scene?! YES! ^__^ *WHAM!* Kasumi: MATT NO BAKAAAAAAA!! >"What are you talking about, Luc?" Valeria demanded, >showing no signs of being >affected by lust. "Luc, change them back right now!" McDohl: Dammit! >With the help of the Wind Rune, Alen and Greenseal were fast >asleep. (In each >other's arms but still asleep.) Shawn: SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP! >Valeria also fell under the >sleeping suggestion of >the Wind Rune. McDohl: Panty shot? ^^ *WHAM!* Gremio: No, wait until Camille shows up... ^^-<3 McDohl: AHA! I _knew_ there was somethin' goin' on between you two! Gremio: Eheh, well, it's not like we made it any kind of secret, Young Master... ^^;;; >Luc shook his head. He just had to find out >exactly what is the >rune Lady Windy gave him. Jowy: Which if he had any kind of intelligence in this story, he would have done that when she offered it in the first place. >Deciding to go directly to the >source, he teleported to >Gregminister Palace. All this teleporting was making him >tired. He decided that >after this is all over, he will go to sleep. Gremio and Nanami: -forever. >Lady Windly remained at her usual place in the throne room. Shawn and Jowy: *Make flushing noises* Nanami: Shawn, Jowy... ~.~;;; McDohl (Windy): Ah, I feel five pounds lighter! Gremio: Young Master... ~.~;; >Emperor Barbarosa >was at his garden so the scheming court magician was left >to plot her takeover of >the Sould Eater. Kasumi: Good thing she's not after the _Soul_ Eater, ne? ^^ >She hadn't decided on anything when Luc >arrived. She noticed >his presence. Nanami (Windy): Ugh, what's that smell...? Oh, hi, Luc! >"Sister Leknaat's cute apprentice returns." she announced. >"How may I have the >honour of basking in your presence?" Gremio: By sending him... *Dubbed Vejita* TO ANOTHER DIMENSION! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *All else shudder* >"Tell me what exactly this rune is." Luc demanded. His >arms were folded across >his chest. The green eyes glared angrily. Nanami: Huh? When'd Dragonmaster Alex get here? ^^-<3 >Lady Windy pretended to look confused. "I don't know what >you are talking >about." >"The rune you gave me last night!" Luc yelled. McDohl: Never heard it called _that_ before. *WHAM!* >Lady Windy pretended to have a look of recognition on >her face. She loved >playing games in front of everyone, although she wondered >if Luc would sense her >deceit. Shawn: If it were the _real_ Luc, he would, but Happy Spell Luc? _Naaaaaaah_. >Deciding finally that the clever apprentice would >figure her out, she >decided to tell the truth. "The rune I gave you is very >special. It is the Rune of >Eroticism, one of the 27 true runes." All: *Facefault* >"The huh?" Luc sweatdropped. >"It only works on members of the same sex." Lady Windy >continued. Jowy: *cough*contrived*cough* >"So in your >case, it only works on males. If attached to a female, >it only works on females. McDohl: Oh gods, it's the Rune of Bad Yaoi/Yuri! O.o;;; Kasumi: Hmm, if Windy had it before, that'd explain a lot of those bad Sailor Moon lemons... >You remember clearly how effective this rune is, do you?" >Luc remembered the wonderful things Hix and Futch did to >him last evening night, McDohl: *Heavily sarcastic* Oh yes, being forced into sex is FUNZIES! *Enraged* WHAT KINDA #*&@#)(&$@ #& MORON IS LUC IN THIS STORY?!? >.< Shawn: That rune must have an Aura of Duh. >.< >the wonderful things Gremio and young master did to each >other last night Gremio: I'm glad Camille didn't see that; it'd take forever to convince her it wasn't true... ~.~;; >and >the wonderful things Alen and Greenseal did to each >other in the morning. His >face turned red thinking about it. Nanami: ACK! He's one of the Killer Tomatoes! >"You're not taking it off, are you?" Luc asked. >Lady Windy turned to Luc, falsely disappointed. "What's >wrong, sweetheart? You >don't like the gift I gave you?" Jowy (Luc): No, but what the hell am I supposed to do with Xelloss?! >Knowing it was of no use to argue, Luc teleported away >to Toran Castle. Perhaps >the runemaster, Jeanne, could help him. Shawn and Jowy: o/~ Help me, Jeanne/ Help, help me Jeanne... o/~ ^^ >Luc didn't have high hopes of Jeanne succeeding and this >time, his cynicism was >rewarded. Shawn (Yakko): And he wins... Jowy (Wakko): -a date with me! ^^ McDohl (Hello Nurse as Luc): Great, I got the booby prize... Nanami: *Ala Dot* Not. One. Word. Any of you. >"I'm sorry, Luc." Jeanne apologized. "I can't unattach >the rune. Runemasters >were only taught how to work with normal runes. In other >words, attaching and >detaching normal runes is one story, attaching and >detaching any of the 27 true >runes is another story." Shawn: Is it Peter and the Wolf? ^^;; Jowy: No, no, it's gotta be "Goldilocks and the Three Bears: The Uncensored Account"! Kasumi: "The Uncensored Account"? Nanami: Goldilocks get eaten by the bears in it. Kasumi: Oh. >Jeanne shook her head. "I'm sorry, >Luc. I'm really sorry. If >you like, I can unattach the Wind Rune." Gremio: That'd leave him defenseless... *Lightbulb* Unattach it, Jeanne! >"I've grown attached to it." Luc said, referring to the >fact that Leknaat found him at >infancy with a Wind Rune attached in him. Nanami: Unfortunately, she didn't shove his basket back into the river. >"Doesn't it feel uncomfortable to have two runes within you?" >Jeanne asked. >"People will perish if two runes conflict within their bodies." Gremio and Nanami: *Chanting* Conflict! Conflict! Conflict! >Luc waved his hand to say it was okay. Jeanne blinked. McDohl: Jeez, _everyone_ in this story needs to see an optometrist. Kasumi: And this Luc needs psychiatric counseling; poor kid's in denial. >"You really are Leknaat's apprentice." she said in awe. >Luc didn't reply. He couldn't believe how stupid he was to >forget. Shawn (Homer/Luc): D'OH! >Only then he >remembered the time when Jeanne attempted to unattach young >master's Soul >Eater Rune and failed because the Soul Eater is one of the >27 true runes. McDohl: *Irritated* I _have_ a name, you know. Shawn: Yeah, like Hiro, Monty, Matt, Billy, Tenchi, etc.... McDohl: Yeah, yeah, but she coulda picked a name for me here. >p >"I heard from Onil about what happened last night." Jeanne >spoke up. Kasumi (Jeanne): Are you OK? I mean, various people heard you screaming... McDohl (Luc; in denial): Nope, nothing bad happened! Really! It was my fault! *Pretends to burst into tears* Jowy: And the odds of him doing that in this fic are... *Summons cheap calculator and does the math* 2,000,000x99 to 1. Wow, this thing does scientific notation too? >Luc shot her an urgent look. Leave it up to Onil the >gossiper to somehow find out >about everything and tell everyone. "What did she say?" Gremio (Luc): Ididn'tdoitnobodysawmedoityoucan'tproveanything! >"Nothing much..." Jeanne lied, not wanting to press the >touchy issue. "Perhaps it >is because of that rune that the people are going crazy." Nanami: o/~ Crazy.../ Crazy for feelin'... so lonely... o/~ >"I know..." Luc frowned. >The young apprentice paced the floor in front of Jeanne, >trying to think of how to >unattach the rune. McDohl: Just give it to someone else, stupid! Gremio: Or cut off your hand! I'd do it for you if you want! ^^ >If Jeanne couldn't unattach the rune >then most likely no other >runemaster could, either. Maybe somehow.... Kasumi: o/~ -a place for us.../ Take my hand and I'll take you there!/ Hold my hand and we're halfway there!/ Somewhere.../ Someday.../ Somehow... o/~ >Suddenly, Luc jumped up. A flash of an idea was seen in >his green eyes. >"I have it!" he announced to Jeanne. "That Windly is >going to pay for messing >with Luc, Leknaat's number one apprentice!" All: ................ Shawn: Just one more "WA-TAK" line? Please? Jowy: _No_. >Luc teleported away in front of Jeanne's eyes. Jeanne >smiled. >"Not to mention her only apprentice." she added. Gremio: Nice one, Jeanne. ^^ McDohl: She's got a nice two as well- *WHAM!* ^^ Shawn: Yeah... *sigh* ^^ >Lady Windy walked around the throne room, bored out of >her mind. Shawn (Homer/Windy): Booooooring! >When was >that fool Barbarosa going to return from his garden? >'Maybe I should check on >him.' Jowy (Quistis): o/~ Check and turn the signals to the right-/ I SAID THE RIGHT! THE RIIIIIIGHT! o/~ Shawn (Zelgadiss): The right?! Aw bugger! Nanami: That's obscure, boys. ~.~;; >Just then, a guard ran into the throne room. The court >magician pretended not to >notice that the guard was wearing no pants. Shawn and Jowy (Guard as Wakko): I'm not wearing any PANTS! ^^ >"Lady Windy!" he cried urgently. "Come quickly to the >castle gates! There's an >emergency!" Jowy: o/~ Woah, ho, ho, stop the car!/ We got an emergency, can't you see? o/~ Kasumi: And we've met our quota for Parappa and Lammi refs. Jowy: Already? I thought we had two more... >Lady Windy put on her air of significance and followed >the guard who had no >pants on. To her horror what did she find but every one Nanami: -of her M&M's gone! Oh, the horror! Kasumi: That's almost as bad as taking away the Dove bars! >of the guards making love >to each other on the palace floors and giving the word >orgy a new meaning! Gremio (Bubble): An orgahy? I thought you didn't do- MMPH! McDohl: Grem, now is not a good time for that... ~.~;; >The >few female servants who were seen had either passed out >or were running, >shreiking, at the awful sight. Nanami: Then Jessy de Alkirk laid the smack down on those pale female stereotypes! Kasumi: o/~ What would Jessy de Alkirk do if she was here right now?/ She'd make a plan and she'd follow though, that's what Jessy de Alkirk'd do! o/~ >Lady Windy wrinkled her >nose at the abundant smell >of semen. Jowy and Shawn: o/~ In the navy- o/~ *WHACK!*WHACK!* McDohl: I _SAID_ don't sing that! >The guard with no pants on quickly ran off to >join some other guards in >love making. Jowy (Chef): o/~ I'm gonna make... I'm... o/~ *Normal* GAH! This thing is sucking my will to be a smartass! Nanami and McDohl: That's not the only thing it's sucking- HEY! >"What could have done such dastardly deeds?" Lady Windy >asked herself. Kasumi (Snidely Whiplash): Curses! She's onto me! Darn you, Windy Do-Right! >The court magician then felt a powerful presence from >where she was standing. >Only then she realized who could have done this. McDohl: Bill Gates! Shawn: Kenneth Starr! Gremio: The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight! *All stare at him* What? >Lady >Windy hurried past the >love-making guards to the castle gates. To her changrin, >standing in front of the >main door was Luc, arms folded, wearing a smug look on >his face. Kasumi (Luc): Hello, my name is Luc Montoya. You gave this #@)(&# rune; prepare to die. >"Happy?" he asked. >Lady Windy clenched her teeth. "What do you want?" Jowy (Luc): I want... A SHRUBBERY! Shawn and Nanami: Ni! Ni! Ni! McDohl: You already used that. Jowy: So? It's fun! ^^ >"I want the Lust Rune unattached now." Luc commanded. >Lady Windy was at a loss. Holding her hands in front of >Luc's chest, she >concentrated hard. The red rune popped out of Luc's body >and into her hands. All: ................ ouch. O.o;; >"Are you happy?" Lady Windy asked. >Luc smiled sweetly. "Very happy!" Shawn and Jowy: o/~ Happy, happy/ Joy, joy/ Happy, happy/ Joy, joy! o/~ >And with that, the young apprentice vanished into thin >air. Lady Windy stomped >her foot in anger. 'How could I let a 14 year old >outsmart me?!" she yelled in >frustration. Kasumi (Snidely as Windy): Curses! Foiled again! >Luc returned to Toran Castle feeling very tired from no >sleep and all teleporting. >To his dismay, Lote was waiting for him by the elevator >door. Gremio: -with wire cutters and an evil grin on her face. >In one arm she held >her cat, Mina. >"You're in for it now, Luc." she announced. >"What?" Luc asked, exasperated. Kasumi (Lotte): You left the toilet seat up again! >"Jeanne told me what happened." said Lotte. "Apparently >this morning, >something was in the air and it blew all over Toran >Castle. Shawn: o/~ There's something special in the air... o/~ >You should see for >yourself. All the guys are making out!" All: ..................... ~.~;; >She put her >hand on Luc's shoulder, >smiling like a friend. "I won't tell anyone." Kasumi (Lotte): Except the police and your therepist; you were violated and that's not funny. You need help here, and I'm here for you, Luc. >Luc brushed her off. Having the Lust Rune in him for >awhile gave him some sort of >immunity to the spell itself. He walked into the elevator >where he met up with >Sergei and Kamandohl making love inside. McDohl, Gremio, and Kasumi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! ((O.O));;; *All three run out of the theater screaming* Shawn: *blink*blink* That was unexpected. >"Where are you going?!" Lotte demanded. Jowy: ... I'm not making a Mircosoft ref here... >"To bed." Luc answered. >The elevator door closed. Nanami: -on Kamandohl's- Jowy and Shawn: NANAMI! NO! >The End ^_^ All: *cheer* >============================================== >AUTHOR'S NOTES: >Comments and Critics to Mousse Jowy: It's over! Hurray! *All those left exit* [In the lobby] Kasumi: *Speaking really quickly in a language not unlike our Japanese. Loosely translated, it means...* Ohmygoddess thatwasatotallygrossanduncalledformentalimageImaythrowupnow... Gremio: *Holding McDohl by the hand and yelling at the Soul Eater rune* C'mon! Take me back! I don't wanna live after seeing Sergei and Kamandohl like that! *shudder* McDohl: *Hysterical* TAKE ME WITH YOU, GREMIO! *uncontrolable sobbing* Emilia: It was _that_ bad? Hugo: ... did they say "Sergei and Kamandohl"?!? O.o;;; Jowy: Who _are_ Sergei and Kamandohl? Hugo: You don't want to know after seeing what they saw with you... O.o;; Emilia: If I knew it was _that_ horrible, I would have went with that Wild ARMs piece. Forgive me... Shawn: I guess _technically_, it was OK, but what served as the plot... *shudder* O.o;; Nanami: I feel kinda sorry for Luc now, after I saw what he went through in that fic... Jowy: I just feel dirty... If you'll excuse me, I'm going down to the baths. ~.~;; *Exits* *Fade to black* Hugo's voice: Sergei and Kamandohl... what was she thinking?! --------------------------------------------------- The REAL End Comments? E-mail at: Lessa990@aol.com Or feel the wrath of the Blinking Rune... >Luc poked his head in between the two watchers of "Masterpiece >Theatre" to see >Gremio and the young master having too much fun. Lookie, a shameless plug! Organized Chaos! http://www.crosswinds.net/~rinichan My own site. Beware the Temporary Portal, er, Picture of the Week; It can lead you to strange things... Season one: ------------------ Episode 101: "Battle of the Strongest" Episode 102: Raging Double Feature ("Wild ARMs Rage" and "Toshinden Rage") Episode 103: "The Cursed Waters" Episode 104: "The Jonathanlizers" Episode 105: "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story" part 1 Episode 106: "The Return of Lord Thinker" Episode 107: "Get Rich Quick" spam. Episode 108: "Don't Freak Out" Episode 109a: "The Price of Redemption" parts 1-3 Xenogears interludes: ------------------------- Episode 109b: "The Price of Redemption" parts 4-5 Episode 201a: "Messila's Journey" part 1 Episode 203: "Ash's New Friend" Episode 206: "Emerald Nights" part 1 Episode 207: "Pokemon Gangbang" (MSTed with Hyperonius) Season Two: ---------------- Episode 202: "Why RPGs Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development" Episode 201b: "Messila's Journey" part 2 Episode 201c: "Mesilla's Journey" part 3 Episode 204: "FFVII: The Untold Story" part 2 Episode 205: "Behind the Scenes" Episode 208: "Beloved? Yeah, Right" Season Three: ------------------ *Special* Episode 300: "The Happy Spell" Episode 301d: "Messila's Journey" part 4 Episode 301e: "Messila's Journey" part 5 Episode 302: "Decency Patrol #2" Other MSTings: ------------------ Episode 000: "Rebirth" (MSTed with Nick) Episode 001: Stephen Gohan's letter to the GIA (MSTed with Katana Angel) *Coming soon!* Episode 002: "Cloud Vs. Aeris" (MSTed with Nick)