Turn in your badge... You're off the force, Dirty Harry! Legal Crap Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Final Fantasy Tactics, Xenogears, and Chrono Trigger are copyrighted by SquareSoft Wild ARMs is copyrighted by Media Vision or Contrail, the latter being the newer name for the company. Any other thing I forgot to mention is copyrighted to it's owner(s). Please don't sue; I have no money as is. ~.~;; "Final Fantasy VII: the Untold Story" belongs to Wade Carpenter and, dude, he can keep it. The intent of this MSTing is not to insult/offend Wade, but to simply make a humorous commentary the story. Please don't hurt or flame me. <=8 Chibi's notes (a.k.a. Stuff you don't give a (&(* about) Um, this is MSTing number five, if you don't count "Rebirth". That's it, really... With that out of the way, Here we gooooooooooooo!! ------------------------------------ [Aboard the Yggdrasil; the Xenogears world] Elly: There's no sign of him on the bridge. Billy: He's not at the gear shop, either. Bart: Nor in the engine room. Fei: What could have happened to Doc? He couldn't just up and disappear off the face of the planet, could he? Margie: Maybe he got sent into space on a satellite and is being made to read bad fanfiction? *All stare at her* Um, maybe not... [A futuristic-looking theater] Rini: *Appears with a pulse of blue light* I don't think I'm space anymore, Toto. Ash Ketchem: Space? Rini: It's a long story. Where am I? Cid Highwind: You're trapped in this *&(^&%% theater with us! Frolbericheri: Who the hell are you, anyway? Rini: Oh, um, I'm Rini, Miss...? Frol: (*&(*& I'm a man, dammit! Shuutarou Mendou: Shush, Frol! I apologize for their lack of tact, Miss Rini. Rini: Well, aren't you nice? Would you happen to know where the exit is? I need to get some friends down from a satellite... Cid: If there was an exit, do ya think we'd still be in here?! Rini: Oh bugger. *Cue the theme song!* --------------------------------------- (Singer) In the not too distant future, (Methinks it was next Thursday) A bunch of poor suckers Have some hell to pay! A group of evil people, led by Mala-chan, They were bored one day, so they dreamed up a plan. They choose some people they didn't like, Then they sent those poor victims into space and- *B-ko cackles* (Mala-chan) We'll send them crappy fanfics, As many as we can find! (Lalala!) (Marle) They'll have to sit and read them all! (Dycedarg) And they'll slowly lose their minds! (Lalala!) (Singer) Now keep in mind they can't control Where the fanfics begin or end. (Lalala!) To try to keep their sanity, Upon each other they must depend! RIFFER ROLL CALL! Rudy! (Lemon fic?) Ramza! (Why me?) Lucca! (I'm a genius!) Citan! (This does not bode well...) Jaaaaaaaaaack! (Oh bugger.) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe And other science fact, Just think to yourself, "It's just a file, I should really just relax, For 'Idiotic Fanfic Theater Whatever'" *Twang!* [The S#!t Out of Luck] *The SOL crew is standing on the bridge* Voice: -so she ended up in this other theater somewhere in the anime multiverse. Rudy: Why am I not surprised? Citan: May I ask you a question, Miss Voice? Voice: Sure, fire away. Citan: Why am I here in the first place? Rudy: You see, when a- Voice: BOLT! *ZAP!* Don't mind him; he's just a little smartass. As for your question, the Laws of Narrative Causiality dictated that if one MSTier disappears or is about to, another has to appear in it's place. Citan: "Narrative Causiality"? Voice: Cliches, Citan. Citan: *Rather confused* If you say so... *The yellow button flashes* Jack: We'll be right back. *Pushes the button* ----------------------------------------------- Announcer: New this season on UPN- *Click!* ----------------------------------------------- Jack: That was short. Citan: It made sense, though. *The red button flashes* I do believe that the TGIF lineup is calling. *Presses the button* [Evil Central] Dycedarg: TGIF LINEUP?!? Why you- Mala-chan: Just for that, I'll send you something extra after today's fanfic! [SOL] All but Citan: CITAN!! Citan: Sorry... [E.C.] Mala-chan: Because of Dark Sonic's intrusion, we have nothing for the invention exchange. Marle: *Whiny* Why do I gotta clean up? I'm a _princess_, ya know! Mala-chan: Shut up and mop, you! [SOL] Lucca: Aw, and I had a really good invention this time! [E.C.] Dycedarg: Well, tough noogies, woman! Mala-chan: Back to the subject, your story today is "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story". Oh, and don't forget the short at the end! Dycedarg! Dycedarg: One double dose of pain, goin' up! *Presses the button* [SOL] *The lights flash and the klaxons go off* Citan: Oh, dear, WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN!! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically Door 5: It's Cheep-Cheep the Cooking Chicken. You pass on the Seafood Cake and keep going. Door 4: It's an arcade machine. After fumbling for two quarters, you insert the coins and it disappears. Door 3: It's your normal run-of-the-mill drawbridge. It falls out towards you, barely missing you. Door 2: It's Moonlight Chris. You yell, "Isn't the Sailor Soulstone?!" to distract him while you run past. Door 1: It's a wall. Tinkerbelle comes, waves her wand, and an opening appears right before you run into the wall.* >Final Fantasy VII Ramza: BOO! >The Untold Story Jack: Is this anything like "Domino: The Untold Story"? Citan: No, that was a fairly decent story. If this was one as well, that Mala woman would not have sent it. Jack: Oh. >By: Wade Carpenter Citan: A carpenter? Maybe I could bribe him into making that shelf Yui wants in the house... >Once upon a time in a beautiful city called Midgar Lucca: Midgar is beautiful?! Citan: That is like saying that the Gazel Ministry is a fair and just ruling body. >"God Damnit that hurt!" Jack (Kyle): Dude, he's farting fire! >Yells Cloud Jack: *About to say something* Rudy: Don't start with that "Isn't he related to Commented Cloud" crap again, Jack! Jack: Why not? It's fun! >"Damnit Cloud you pussy ass, Lucca: It's Oscar! >fight don't complain!" says Barret "But it hurts!" Cloud says in a crying >voice Rudy: Out of character! Cloud has no emotions other than staring! Ramza: That, and being a bigger ditz that Chibi- Voice: BOLT! *Lightning strikes near Ramza's feet* That's just a warning; next time I aim. Rudy: Hey, you never gave me any warnings! Voice: That's because I like to torment you. Rudy: *Mumbles* stupid bitch. Voice: What did you say?!? Rudy: ......... >"Well then get your ass out of my way so I can fight!" Citan: Did Cloud say that or did Barret say it? Rudy: Yes. >and in an instant he get so pissed that his limit breaks five times >a he blows Rufus, Reno, Elena, Rude, and Tseng so far away that you would >need 20 satellites to track were they went. *The Turks and Rufus make a hole in the SOL, fly across the theater, and go through the other side* Lucca: Now that's new. Citan: How...?! Rudy: You get used to weird stuff happening up here after a while, Doc. >Later at Tifa's Bar sounds of gunfire came from inside Lucca: *gasp!* Someone inside pissed off the Kazei 5! Citan: "Kazei 5"? Rudy: Never you mind, Doc. >"What the fuck is going on in there!" asks Cid" Lucca: Bad grammar, that's what? Rudy: At least he's in character. >Get the hellout of here God Damnit!" Citan (Cartman): Seriously, Ah'll kick you in th' nuts! *All gawk at Citan* What? Can I not be a "South Park" fan? >Yells Barret Jack: Commented Crono's third cousin. Rudy: Jack! Jack: What? It's not profane or anything! Rudy: No, but it's just too damn idiotic! Jack: Why should I listen to you? You're just a kid! Rudy: KID?!? Why you- *Citan takes out the copy of "Spell Casting for Dummies" Rini left behind* Citan: Silence! *Double helixes of green stars surround Rudy and Jack, rendering them unable to speak* That is much better. >from inside then lots of people start to run out of the bar Ramza (Random person): Duh, why didn't I do this when he started shooting? Lucca (Random person): We're expendable extras and it's a plot device. Now shut up and keep running until we get out of the fanfic! *The spell on Rudy and Jack wears off* >"Damnit Barret were do you get off scaring my customers like that I need the >money!" asks Tifa Rudy (Barret): Well, I thought you got all the money you need by selling your body to every man in Midgar! Citan: Please refrain from that kind of comments in the future, young man. Rudy: Make me. Citan: You will wish you hadn't said that if you make another such comment. Rudy: *Sarcastically* I'm so scared. >"Everyone, meeting in five min." says Barret. Lucca (Nature show guy): Now we see the ever elusive period out of its natural element... Rudy: Was it really too much trouble to type out "minute"? >Five min. later in the basement of Tifa's bar Lucca: The third annual buffet and orgy took place. Citan: Lucca! Lucca: What? >"All right everyone we have a problem. " Lucca (Guy who's talking): We're missing more periods than a room full of pregnant women. Any way we can correct this? >Beep Beep Beep Beep Citan (Random character): Would someone please turn off the television? Having an episode of "Jerry Springer" playing in the background is not helping any! >"What the hell?" "Make that two problems. Ramza (Guy who's talking): First, Cloud has suddenly gotten emotions and second, I have this evil "Alundra" obsessed twin on the loose. Citan: What is wrong with "Alundra"? Voices from the P.A.: DON'T START! Rudy: Huh? >First while Cloud and I were fighting the Turks Cloud became a big wuss Ramza: I thought he was a big wuss in the first place. >so I took over and blasted them out of there, but it didn't kill them we >tracked them to Sanfransico, California in America. Lucca: Urge to kill... rising... Rudy (Barret): *Takes a deep breath* You may wonder why I didn't use any periods see it's really fun to not use any, because it really annoys everyone hey guys where are you going? Ramza: "Sanfransico"? I don't remember seeing that on any Earth maps... >The second problem is the worst and the fattest Citan: Palmer! >it's Jenova and Sepiroth Jack (Barret): They're trying to pirate the airwaves and force everyone to watch "Spice World" and listen to "Mmmbop"! All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! >they're attacking sector 3 we got to get there fast so get off your lazy >asses a lets go!" Citan (Cartman): Aw, screw you, hippie! >Later at sector 3 "Ahh!" "Blamman are you all right?" asks Kablam Jack: Huh? Who are these people and what do they have to do with FF7? Rudy: Not another crossover; I hate crossovers! Lucca: Aw, you're just bitter about all the crossovers you've been in. Rudy: So? >"I get knocked on the ground Jack: *Singing* o/~ But I get up again/ You're never gonna keep me down! o/~ >and I yell ah. What do you think!? Get that fat bitch!" "Yaaaa!" yells Cid Ramza (Cid; badly dubbed): You have dishonored my ancestors; for that I will smite you! Hahahahahahaha! >as he jumps from the Tiny Bronco Citan: How on earth did it get there? I thought it was broken beyond repair... Lucca: He must've bought an Instant Plot Device (TM). >and he takes his spear and stabs it right in the middle of Jenova >(AKA Grandma). Citan: Um, nani? Rudy: This guy has some issues, I tell you what. >"Take that you piece of Shit!!!!!! Ramza: -he yelled right before incinerating Mr. Hankey, the end. >I summon the Knights of the round table!!" yells Cid Lucca: And there was much rejoicing. All: Yay. >(and if you've seen the end of FFVII you know what Knights of the round >table summon is.) Rudy: Not necessarily; not everyone has enough patience to get a gold Chocobo, let alone know where the island is. Lucca: Hell, I haven't seen "Knights of the round table". I've seen "Knights of the Round", however. >Then out from no where Vincent appears Rudy: Is it Rally Vincent? Rally... *Goes off into his own little dreamworld* Lucca (Vince McMahon): Rock, push the button! >"I thought you might need a hand." says Vincent Ramza: Vincent then blows away everyone there, the end. >In an instant he pulls out his HUGE shotgun Citan: Jessie? Is that you? >and blows Jenova and Sepiroth far away, Ramza: Looks like Team Jenova's blasting off again! >but unfortunately Jenova hit the Tiny Bronco and Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, Barret, >Cat Dick, Citan: Eww... Rudy: Looks like Fritz Fraundorf is going to do some smiting soon. Lucca: Either that or just send Hanpan after the author. Citan: Send... Hanpan?! Rudy: Don't ask. >Yuffee, and Red XIII had to bale out of the plane. Jack: They're hay stacks now? >"Well it looks like we are flyen coach." says Barret. At the Midgar Airport Jack: -international terrorists blew up all the planes, the end. Ramza: Don't steal my lines, Jack! >"Red get in this case you need to be able to help us incase we get in >trouble." says Tifa Jack (Red XIII): How will I get out then? Citan (Tifa): Duuuuh... I like rice. >"Do I have to." "YES!!!!" "Ok." Red climbs Rudy: -on top of Tifa. Tifa didn't mind though, her being used to it and all. Citan: *Opens "Spell Casting for Dummies"* BOLT! *ZAP!* >into the suitcase then like a cluts Rudy: It's a lemon now? Citan: BOLT 2! *ZAAAP!* >Tifa starts to stab lots of holes into the suitcase Jack: Norman Bates! Ramza: One character down, eight to go. >"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMNIT BITCH THAT HURT!!!!!" yells >Red XIII "Sorry." says Tifa Citan (Tifa): Tee hee, sorry for almost killing you, tee hee! >Later in the scanning line "How is Barret going to get through with that gun >on his arm?" asks Cloud Lucca: Maybe by putting on a NORMAL FAKE ARM?!? Rudy: Your head isn't going to explode, is it? >"Shut up you little fool and let me do the talking!" Says Barret. Jack: Yells Barret's twin brother. >BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!!!!!!! Jack (Barret): Damn, I thought I put that pager on vibrate! >"Sir could you step over here please?" asks Midgar security Citan: Now there's an oxymoron if I ever saw one. >"Sir over here please." Ramza (Security person): Now just wait right there for the next month and we'll get to you. >"I’m coming. Damnit have some fucking patience!" Rudy: IfyaknowwhatImean! Citan: BOLT 3! *ZAAAAAAP!!* >"Sir what is that?" Lucca: "That" is a demonstrative pronoun; why do you want to know? >"Its a gun that was crafted to Citan: -fire a bullet through Kathie Lee Gifford's head. Lucca: It should be _"grafted"_, not _"crafted"_. *Grahf breaks through the fourth wall* Grahf: Dost thou desire the power? Citan: Not you again! No one here wants "the power", so bugger off! Grahf: But- Citan: Go! Grahf: Aw, no one lets me do anything. *Disappears* >my arm once I loss the feeling in it." Ramza (Barret): Sort of like Cloud, really. >"Well you are going to have to take that off if your going to get on this >plane." Lucca: Gyah! Bad mental image here! Citan: You could say that again... >"You dumb ass. Do you need a hearing aid? It was crafted that means it >can’t be removed." says Barret Jack: Such riveting dialogue! You can feel the emotion poured into it! Lucca: Getting sarcastic on us, Jack? Jack: What makes you say that? >(sarcastically) "Well I’m going to let you on but I will have a guard Rudy (Security person): All I have to do is promise a promotion, heh, heh, heh! Citan: But I just- but- but- Ramza: Rini did the same thing and it didn't work either. Citan: Oh bugger. >with you at all times. Ok?" "Alright." Citan: S'alright? Jack: S'okay. Rudy: *groan* >Some unexpected teenagers go through the scanner Lucca (Robin from "Bebe's Kids"): Test tube babies... >"Yea! Yea! Kick Ass!" says a young man Citan: Cartman! >heading toward the plane with what seems to be his friend. Ramza: Oh, does anyone have friends, or is it just an illusion? Is- Lucca: Now is not the time to be philosophical, Ramza. Voice: Philosophy?!? ARGH!! *The speaker explodes* >"Well lets go." Ramza: Fine with me. *Gets up* Voice: SIT DOWN!! Ramza: Yes, ma'am! *Sits down* >says Barret "How did you get through security?" says Cloud Lucca: Walking would be a good guess. >"What did I say before I went through the scanner?" says Barret Voice (Cloud): That the scanner's crap and it messes up the colors? Citan: Wrong type of scanner, Miss Voice. >"I forget." Ramza: That's an easy task for Cloud. >"I said SHUT UP!!" Rudy (Kid from "Upright Citizens Brigade"): Shu' up. Jack (Father): What? Rudy (Kid): Hit me. Jack (Father): I will not! Rudy (Kid): Shu' up. Jack (Father): No, you shut up! Rudy (Kid): Hit me. *Jack pretends to hit Rudy* >Then the group headed toward the plane. Ramza: Then the plane crashed, the end. >On the plane. "Oh here’s our seats." Says Tifa Jack: Another new character! *SMACK!* Rudy: *Puts up the Iron Fan* I said knock that off, Jack. >"oh shoot. I dropped my sunglasses. Tifa could you get them?" says Cid Lucca (Tifa): Why sure I'll bend over and show everyone my butt just to get your stupid sunglasses, tee hee! >"Sure." Say Tifa. Jack: Is that Says Tifa's nickname? *SMACK!* >Tifa starts to bend over. "Ohhhhh! Come to Butthead!" Rudy: ARGH! More crossovers!! Citan: I do not like the direction this story is going in... >says a voice from the other seat "Excuse me!!!!!!!" Citan: It's A-ko! Ramza (C-ko): Hiiiii DDDDDDDDDD!! Lucca (D): Ow, why do I have to get run down every day? >says Tifa in an angry voice. Rudy: "Bite me!!!!!!!" says Rudy in a sarcastic voice. >"Oh nothing." Says Butthead. Jack: Says is a popular first name, ain't it? *SMACK!* QUIT HITTIN' ME, KID!! Rudy: Only if you stop with those bad jokes. >The plane takes off from Midgar airport Ramza: -in a futile attempt to get out of the fanfic. >"Ladies and gentlemen our next stop will be Rudy: *Evilly* -hell! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ramza: They're coming here? >Sanfransico, California." Says the pilot. An hour later, Ramza: -we're still stuck in the theater. >"Well it looks like we should be there in about thirty min." says Tifa. Citan: How does she know that? Ramza: Just smile and nod and it'll go away eventually, Citan. >"Oh boy oh boy I finally get to see America." Lucca: o/~ I like to be in America!/ OK by me in America!/ Everyone free in America! o/~ >Says Cloud, and he starts running up and down the halls of the plane. Ramza: And I thought Cloud was a moron _before_ this... >"Sit the fuck down, and quit acting like a fool! Ya fool." Yells Barret. Rudy: Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department from which this is brought to you. >At Beavis and Butthead’s seats "Would you like anything to drink before we >get to Sanfransico?" Jack: o/~ Bring me two pina coladas/ One for each hand... o/~ >Asks a stuertist. Lucca: "Stuertist"? Man, this fic is like what would happen if Thinker went foul... Rudy: Two words: Dark Thinker. *Lucca shudders* >"No thank you." Says Butthead "And how about you sir." "Yea! Anything with >alcohol in it!" says Beavis "Ok. Here you go." And the stuertist hands him >Tequila. Citan: What kinda moron is this person?!? Serving alcohol to a minor?! Ramza: You're not going to go crazy and destroy the theater, are you? >Then Beavis gulps it down faster than anyone has before, and it makes him go >crazy. Jack: No beer and no TV make Homer go crazy! >"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Yells Beavis and runs down the hallway toward the >cockpit. Lucca: *About to say something* Citan: *Sternly* No. >As he enters the cockpit he put his shirt over his head and then… "I’M >COOLEO!!!!!" Ramza: Then Coolio came and sued Beavis, the end. Citan: *Aquires a pale blue ether aura* That's _"Cornholio"_, _NOT_ "Cooleo"! Rudy: *Anime sweatdrop* Um, is he supposed to have a battle aura? Lucca: Ether aura. Rudy: *Anime sweatdrop* Is he supposed to have an _ether_ aura then? Lucca: No, no, he isn't... Rudy: Oh bugger... >Yells Beavis, and it scares the pilots to death, and they release the >controls. Jack: That's not a good sign. >It causes the plane to fall, and Barret’s guard falls over and busts his >head. Rudy (Barret): No wonder; he wearin' a red shirt... >Barret gets up and runs to the cockpit and yells "Get your ass out of the >fucking cockpit *Rudy and Lucca fall out of their seats laughing* Ramza: Now that line riffs itself! Citan: My head hurts... >you piece of shit!!!" Citan: We already made a "Mr. Hankey" ref, right? Jack: Yeah. >Then he starts firing at Beavis, but misses and hits the pilots. Jack: *Sarcastically* Nice work, really, I mean it! >The plane starts to descend, and the passengers are tossed around. Rudy: That's one hell of a carnival ride! >In the storage compartment. "What the hell is going on up there?!" Rudy: We're being made to read a bad fanfic, that's what. >says Red XIII. In the front. Cid runs to the front of the plane. "Barret what >the hell did you do?! I got to land this plane." Ramza: -but he fails and the plane crashes, the end. >Cid takes the controls. Jack: -and hides them on the highest shelf. >"Sanfransico airport do you read?" Citan: Probably not. Rudy: That's mean, doc. >asks Cid "Yes we read you." "Both pilots are dead, Jack (Cid): We need another pen, and fast! >I’m bringing her in, Rudy (Cid): -with a _big_ grin on her face, heh, heh, heh! Citan: BOL- oh, why should I bother? >but I need your help I’ve never landed a plane this big." Citan: *Ether aura* But the Highwind is- but- but- ARGH!! *Takes out his sword and slashes the screen repeatedly. However, the screen repairs itself after each swipe* It won't go away... *Collapses* >"Ok ease back on the wheel until you have the planes ass pointing to the >ground. Rudy: Is the plane the Draconis or something? Normal planes don't- Ramza: Don't think too hard; you saw what happened to Citan a minute ago. >Then lower the wheels, and just land her like any other small aircraft." >Thankfully the plane lands safely on the ground, Ramza: Thankfully for whom? >and airport security pulls up next to the plane. "Who is responsible for >the death of these pilots." Lucca (Security): -and the question marks? Citan: *Gets up and staggers to his seat* I believe it was "COOLEO" that was responsible. >Asks airport security, and the whole plane points at the Final Fantasy 7 >and Blamman groups. "Alright follow me. Citan (Fleaswallow): -rap. I've been working in the fleamarket so early... Rudy: NO MORE PARAPPA!! Citan: Where is your sense of humor, kid? Rudy: Don't call me "kid". >In Sanfransisco Prison holding cells. "When are we going to get out of >here." Whines Cloud Ramza: Never, if I have anything say in it... >"Cloud don’t forget Red is out there he’ll help us." Says Cat Sith. Citan: *Ether aura* Even if he didn't die from blood loss, how is he going to get out of the suitcase?! Ramza: ......... >It’s starting to get dark we’d better get some sleep." Says Cid "You know >something Cid. Being in here trapped with you makes me so horny." Says Tifa >in a seductive voice. Ramza: Oh dear lord, it's turning into a lemon. Rudy: This is going to hurt badly... >"What the!?" Tifa drops her clothes and stands naked before Cid. Lucca (Tifa): And right here is the scar I got from the enlargement... >Then Aeris sees this and she starts to get horny and she drops her clothes Ramza: Oh my. o.O Rudy: I take back my last statement; this is going to hurt _very_, _VERY_ badly... Jack: This from the hentai. Rudy: Even I have my limits, Jack, and any lemon scene involving Cid Highwind is past them. >and then… "STOP!!!!!" Jack: Hammer time! Elly's voice: HAMMER?!? DIE! Fei's voice: Elly! Calm down! *CRASH!* Bart's voice: There goes that table... >yells a strong voice "Sorry about the disturbance I’m from Lucca (Other voice): -the Partnership for Good Fanfiction. You're all under arrest for making MSTiers nauseated. >the censorization company and by Parent Law number 53 this shine Ramza (Other voice): -needs retouching. The waxy build-up is awful! >may not by written unless there is verification from a Parent Police Officer. >Thank you. Oh yes and kids please don’t drive drunk." Ramza: I like this character. ^_^ >Suddenly the door to the cell opens "Holy Shit! Damn Tifa you got some nice >ass tits." Says Red XIII All: o.O Citan: Could you repeat that? >"Holy Shit! Damn Tifa you got some nice ass tits." Says Red XIII Citan: *Ether aura* Since when does Red XIII find human women attractive?!? Jack: Think of it this way, Red XIII didn't say it, Says Red did. Citan: That doesn't make it any better, Jack. >"Oh well get you clothes on and lets get the others." Ramza: *Darkly* Sure, we'll go... *Takes out a bow and an arrow* >"The door to the next cell opens and Red looks in and sees Yuffee sitting >on Barret’s dick All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Rudy: NOW THAT'S NOT RIGHT!! Ramza: Yuffie's not like that!! She would never...! Lucca: Gyah! I can still see it when I close my eyes!! Jack: ......... *Faints* Hanpan: I'm in hell, aren't I? Citan: *Ether aura* Yuffie...! Barret...? >"Damnit is there anyone in these cells that’s not having sex!!?" yells Red >XIII. Red opens the next cell and sees Cloud and Cat Sith unconseus on the >floor. All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Rudy: THIS IS EVEN MORE WRONG!! Lucca: I think I'm gonna hurl... Ramza: *Mumbling to himself* hehehe, blackmail... Citan: *Ether aura flaring* Cloud...?! Cait Sith...?!? ARGH! *His head explodes, raining M&M's everywhere. His head reappears with an audible "ping!"* Whoa... >"Well what the hell happened in here!?" asks Red XIII "You don’t want to >know." All: YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!! >Says Vincent. Then Red opens the last cell. Rudy: Wait, Vincent was there?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! That's even worse! Ramza: I didn't know Vincent liked to watch- *Thwap!* Citan: Do not go there, Ramza. >"Man why did you have come now me and Kablam were just about to >beat FFVII?" *CRASH!!* Lucca: And the fourth wall has been completely demolished, thanks to them. Jack *Gets up and sits down* Oog, I had this dream about Yuffie and Barret... Citan: It was not a dream, Jack. Jack: Damn. >says Blamman. Out side the cells next to the guard lying on the >floor with blood oozing out of him. Rudy: ??? Ramza: Daravon strikes again! Jack: How'd you pronounce question marks, kid? Rudy: Wouldn't you like to know? >"RED did you do that!?" yells Tifa " "Hell no Bitch! He was like that when >I came up here. I don’t know what happened." Ramza: Neither does anyone else. >"I think I know who did it." Says Cid "WHO??" asks ever one in the group Jack (Slappy Squirrel): I MEAN THE BAND ON STAGE!! *WHAM!!* Rudy: Don't you start that again!! >"Sepiroth! Lucca: Didn't he kill "Aries"? >And I have a good feeling Ramza: This job was a gift from God! This's the way! Items used in battles are items! *SMACK!* Rudy: Shaddap! >that he is here." Says Cid. "Ha Ha Ha! You don’t know how right you are Cid >I see you later. Jack: He's a psychic?! Lucca: *Holds her head* Bad... grammar... and spelling... wrong... lime scenes... urge to kill... rising... >Oh if you want to see me again I’ll be at a quate little town called Knothole >Village. Rudy: Ack! Another crossing over!! Lucca: "Quate"?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *A flash of light, and another Lucca, this one with red hair, appears next to the original* Other Lucca: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Runs off* Ramza: Dude, this is pretty f^*^ed up right here! >See you there. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" says Sepiroth. "Well I guest we’d >better find some wheels." Says Tifa. *All exit* *Reverse door sequence* [SOL] *Other Lucca is on the bridge* Other Lucca: *Playing around with the ship's wiring* Mwahahahahahaha! Die, die!! Laser cannons, fire! *Touches two wires together* [E.C.] Marle: Dycedarg, you ever get this feeling of impending doom? Dycedarg: No, why? Marle: 'Cause I have this bad feeling- *A laser strikes mere inches from her* Aw crap! Why did I have to be right?!? *Runs around, screaming like a lunatic* Dycedarg: This is not good! Where're B-ko and Mala-chan when you need them?! [Filgaia] Cecilia: I'm free! I'mfreeI'mfreeI'mfree! *B-ko swoops down in her battlesuit and carries Cecilia off* I'm trapped! I'mtrappedI'mtrappedI'mtrapped! [Deep 13] Mala-chan: -and _that's_ how you can double their suffering! Dr. Forrester: Now why didn't I think of that? [E.C.] Marle: WE'RE DOOMED, I TELL YA! DOOMED!! Dycedarg: I'm too young to die! [SOL] Other Lucca: You want deep hurting?! I'll show you deep hurting! BWAH! *WHAM!* Lucca: *Tosses aside a clown hammer* Knock it off! *The lights flash and the klaxons go off* WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN!! *Door Sequence: Door 6: Same as before. Door 5: Cheep-Cheep tries to sell you a cherry cake this time Door 4: You have to put in two more quarters to pass. Door 3: Same as before Door 2: It's Moonlight Chris. After coming on to the two Luccas (and getting smacked around for doing so), you go past to... Door 1: The opening's still there.* *The other Lucca sits to Jack's right* >Later at a Rent a Car Depot. "Damnit man don’t you hear straight? Ramza (Guy): What? You want a beer crate? >We need a car now, because if we don’t get a car the whole world will be >destroyed and everyone will die." Ramza (Guy): And I should care because...? This is concerning what...? >Says Barret "Sorry sir but we can’t just give you a car. Citan (Mooselini): You want to drive, huh? It's harder than you think it is. *SMACK!* Rudy: NO MORE PARAPPA! >You have to pay for one." Says the clerk Rudy: No, really? I thought they had to click their heels three times while saying, "There's no place like car". >"That’s just it we don’t have any money." Citan: His dad's gonna bite him! *WHAP*WHAP*WHAP* Unless you want that fan shoved where the sun does not shine, I suggest you quit hitting me. >Says Barret "Well then I can’t give you a car." "That does it!" yells Cid Ramza: Smite 'em, Cid! *Chanting* Smite! Smite! Smite! Other Lucca: Yeah, smite, smiTE, SMITE!! >"CID!! What are you doing!?" asks Aeris. Other Lucca (Cid): I can't take it anymore! It's time to kill, kiLL, KILL! Rudy: Uh, right... >Cid grabs Aeris’ staff and hits the clerk upside the head with it and takes >the keys to a car. Lucca: Reeeeal subtle, Cid. >"CID!!!!" Jack: MCCLOUD!!!! Rudy and Lucca: NORM!!!! Citan: STELLA!!!! Ramza: D'oh, BART!!!! Other Lucca: SAOTOME!!!! >yells everyone "What!?" "Why did you have to hit him?" asks Tifa Other Lucca (Cid): It was either him or me, you gotta believe me! >"He wasn’t going to let us have a car. So quit getting upset and let’s >go save the world." Other Lucca: But what if they don't want to save the world? Rudy: You act like they have a choice. >After a long drive they finally arrive at Knothole Village. Citan (Mooselini): Do you know why we stopped the car again? *WHAP*WHAP*WHAP* Rudy: I said to stop with the Parappa references. Citan: And I said stop hitting me. *Grabs the fan out of Rudy's hands and throws it through the fourth wall* Voice: Ow! All right, who threw a fan at me?! All: *Anime sweatdrop* ......... >"God Damn this town is lame." Ramza: Actually, it's the story that's lame. >Says Vincent. Then a flash goes by. Citan (Daggit): I am the silent wind of doom, WOOOOSH! Jack (Norbert): Daggit, you're a beaver, you're not supposed to be dangerous! Rudy: Citan, Jack, what the hell are you two talking about?! Citan: Never you mind, young man. >It looked like a blue string of light. Lucca: Shi shi hokodan! Citan: Someone's putting lights on the tree! Rudy: Why'd anyone want to do that? Citan: Um... Lucca: There's no such thing as "Christmas" where he comes from. Citan: Oh. >All of a sudden the light comes back and Ramza: -disintergrates the FF7 cast, that end. >stops in front of the group, and they see that it’s not a string of light Rudy: No, really? I thought it was a Ranma 1/2 crossover as well! Lucca: Like that'd suprise us now. Rudy: That's for sure. >it’s actually a small spiky haired little Other Lucca: -super-deformed Crono? Rudy: Please don't mention super-deformed characters in my presence. Other Lucca: Why not? Rudy: I was in this bizarre crossover with Magic Knight Rayearth and I don't like to look back on it. Voice: It wasn't that bad! Besides, you're barely even _in_ the sequel! Rudy: *shudder* Sequel... >hedgehog. "Hi my name is Sonic. What’s yours?" Citan (Gremio): I'll be Roi. Lucca (Cleo): I'll be Maria. *Rudy snickers* What? Rudy (Viktor): You don't look like a Maria. Other Lucca: Enough with the "Suikoden" gag, you three! >says the hedgehog then everyone says their names all at the same time. Jack: Gah! The Olsen twins are here! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *SMACK!!* >"Okay. Well what are you doing in Knothole Village?" says Sonic Ramza (Cloud): Staring, what else. Lucca (Tifa): *giggle* Oh Cloud, I love you! Other Lucca (Aeris): No way! He's mine, bitch! Lucca (Tifa): No way! MINE!! Other Lucca (Aeris): MIIIIINE!! Ramza (Cloud): ......... >"We are looking for a man named Sepiroth. Lucca (Aeris): He didn't pay me for the se- Citan: LUCCA!! Lucca: What? >He is traveling with a big fat creature Citan: Palmer? Lucca: Heidigger? Jack: The Kool-Aid man? Rudy: *groan* >her name is Jenova." Says Cid "They may just be here. Rudy (Sonic): Or maybe over there, I don't remember. >Yesterday I saw a huge creature that looked like a peach." Says Sonic Lucca: Jenova looks like a peach?! Since when?! Ramza: Since now. >"That’s her!" says Tifa "Did you say it was evil?" asks Sonic Other Lucca (Cid): Well, duh! What, you think it's gonna give out free snow cones?! >"Yes." Says Cid "Well how about I help you stop the ugly creature?" asks >Sonic Rudy (Sonic): I have a box of high explosives... Other Lucca (Minnie May Hopkins): You called? >"Well ok, but do you know why Sepiroth would pick such a small and unknown >town to pick a fight?" asks Cid Ramza: Maybe he wants to pick up Robotnik. Citan: That's just sick, Ramza. >"Maybe, there is a man, an evil man, who is trying to take over this >town. Citan: *About to say something* Rudy: *Points an ARM at Citan* No "Pinky and the Brain" refs. >His name is Dr. Robotnick, Lucca ("Robotnick"): Hi, everybody! Jack (Random person): Hi, Dr. 'Nick! >but I call him Robuttneck. Citan: Thank you for sharing that with us. >Wait a min. Rudy: No, wait a sec., no, wait a hr., no, a wk., maybe a yr... >I remember reading something about Jenova it said she had a brother and >his name was Dr. Robotnick." Says Cid Rudy: How convienient. Ramza: So in a way, I was right. >"So that’s why they came here. Rudy: *Without missing a beat* It's a plot device. >Well I’d better take to my home and get a few items." Citan: Strangely, he could carry 99 of any item, no matter how large the items are. >Later at Sonic’s House. "Hold on I will be right back." Says Sonic Jack: If he were smart, he wouldn't come back at all. >"Who are you." Says a little kid. Citan: I am sorry, could you be a little more vague? >Then once again the whole group says their names all at once. Rudy: Oh great, it's a running gag. Even that stupid "Blue's Clues" one is funnier than this. Citan: "Blue's Clues"? Rudy: Don't ask. >"Well my name is Tails, and this is Sally." Says Tails Jack: And that's Steve, and this is Blue, and that's- *SMACK!* Rudy: Shaddap. >"Well here you go. These might be useful." Says Sonic and then he hands >them some Materia, Restore HP, Restore MP, and some Phoenixdowns. Lucca: Um, how could he do that if those things don't exist on Mobius? Citan: The same way monsters have money and items even though they have no use for such things. Lucca: That kinda makes sense, I guess. >"Those want help you prepare to die!!! Yells Sepiroth. Other Lucca (Shampoo as Sephiroth): Ranma-husband no want violent girl! You die now! >Then he disappears with out a trace. Ramza: An Instant Plot Device (TM) at work, folks! >"Sonic where does this Robotnick live?" asks Cid "In a little place >called ROBOTROPOLIS Rudy (Sonic): It's right past this _little_ place called Midgar and this _tiny_ place called Caer Xahn. >about two miles from here." Says Sonic "We got work to do!" says Cid. Jack: It's time to make the doughnuts! >At Robotropolis. "Is this it?" asks Tifa Ramza: -right before the clown with the glowing eyes hacked her to pieces. >"Yes." Says Sally "Well lets get go…" Ramza: Good idea. Voice: Don't you dare, boy! >try’s to say Cid before he is interrupted "Not so fast! Other Lucca: The speed limit's 20 miles per hour here, and you only got one! Everyone else: *groan* >You will have to deal with us first!" says Rufus. Jack: -Xavier Saspirilla? *SMACK!* Rudy: No "Schoolhouse Rock" references! Those are even worse than Parappa ones! Lucca: Who pissed in _your_ cornflakes today, Rudy? >Then the rest of the Turks appear from behind a wall. Citan: And brought out the kareoke machine. >Then out of no where moogles start to run up with instruments. Then they >start to play the boss music from "Final Fantasy VII" Ramza: As opposed to the boss music from "Tales of Destiny". >Rufus draws his shotgun Lucca: -as does Lucca and her twin, who was recently created under weird circumstances. *Takes out her gun* >and fires at Barret but misses "You need to learn how to shoot a weapon >boy! Citan and Jack: Foghorn Leghorn! >Here’s a crash course" Lucca: If you insist... *Fires a round of ammuniton at the screen* >Yells Barret. Then he lifts his arm and shoots Rufus in the leg disabling >it. Ramza: He should have used "Arm Aim", seeing as Rufus has a long distance weapon... >As Rufus lies on the ground Rude casts fists of furry on Cloud. *All laugh* Rudy: Fists of "furry"?! Looks like Rude became a Mobius Avatar! >The blow knocks Cloud unconsus. Lucca: I call no "Lewinsky" jokes, people. Citan: This reminds me of the day I met Yui... Rudy: Please don't go into details, doc. >"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" laughs Rude. Citan (Rude): Your weapons cannot harm me! >As he laughs Cid sneaks up and steals the fist of furry materia and >turns it right back on Rude. *All crack up again* Lucca: Now _Cid's_ a Mobius Avatar?! *Pictures Cid as a furry. This makes her laugh even harder than before* >Then while Rude is down Elena kicks Tifa down Citan (Chop-Chop): Good job, Elena; you can go on to the next stage now. *WHAM!* Rudy: NO PARAPPA!! >and this makes Cid so pissed off his limit break meter could breaks All: ......... Other Lucca: ... anyone understand that line? Ramza: I think it means, "Gyra famous on Amy." Lucca: Thank you for clearing that up, Ramza. >and he jumps into the air and slams his spear right into Rude’s heart >killing him instantly. Jack: o/~ Speared through the heart and you're too late/ You give love a bad name! o/~ >He still isn’t finished his limit breaks again and does the same thing to >Reno as he did to Rude. The Luccas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOT RENO!! Lucca: He's too cute to die! Other Lucca: He had that neato shocking nightstick thingie, too! >This scares Rufus, Elena, and Tseng so much that Elena and Tseng grab >Rufus and they run away. Rudy: o/~ And then, brave Rufus, he ran away! o/~ Ramza (Rufus): Did not! >As they enter Robotopolis they see a vast majority of inventions and >gadgets. Lucca (Gadget Hackwrench): Golly, how did I get here? Citan (Inspector Gadget): You are obviously a MAD agent! Other Lucca (Gidget): Moondoggie! Jack: That's _"gadget"_, not _"Gidget"_! Other Lucca: Oh. >As they enter the main building they see the ugliest, hairiest, and >fattest thing in the world Citan: My old biology teacher? >Jenova Synthesis. Then the moogles run as fast as they can Jack (Moogle): Kupo! Run away, run away! Kupo! >and start playing the boss music again. "Not again." Says Cloud "Stop being >a wuss Cloud." Says Tifa. Citan (Cartman): Yeah, if a girl tried to beat me up, I'd say, "Hey! Stop dressing me up like a mailman a-and making me dance for you, while you go smoke crack and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!" Jack (Stan): Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?! Citan (Cartman): I'm just saying, "Stop being a little wuss..." >Then Jenova flies into the air and comes straight down on the whole group. Ramza: -killing them all instantly, the end. >Tifa and Cat Sith are seriously injured. Other Lucca: Ain't Cait Sith a robot? Rudy: Not according to Fritz Fraundorf. >"OH NOW YOU FUCKING PISSED ME OFF YOU FAT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!" Yells Cid. Jack (Kyle): I told you not to call her that! >Then he casts Knights of the Round Table on Jenova. She is hurt but not out. Other Lucca: Um, how? Ramza: Smile and nod, um, other Lucca, smile and nod... >"DAMN!!" yells Cid. Then Cid grabs The Weapon Sword from Clouds hands Lucca: Now he's stealing weapons that don't exist! Tsk, what's the world coming to...? >and jumps into the air and comes down on her with the power of 200 men. Rudy (Wayne Campbell): Sheyeah, right! And monkeys fly out out of my butt! >The blow splits Jenova in half. Jack: And that's the power of the Sledge-O-Matic, everyone! Ramza: Does this mean it's over now? Voice: Actually, it's supposed to be part of a yet-to-be finished trilogy. All: NOOOOOOOOOOO!! >"YES!!" Yells Cid, Other Lucca: He like "Herbal Essences" too! *Everyone else gags* >but before they get to celebrate Robotnick comes out of nowhere. "The >fight’s still on" says Barret. Rudy (Mills Lane): Let's get it on! >For some reason Vincent steps up and tells everyone he wants this on alone. Rudy: That can be _so_ taken out to context. Lucca: Eww... >So everyone steps back and lets him have the fight. Ramza (Cloud): You can have the fight, but I get to keep the Playstation. >He pulls up his rocket launcher loads fists of furry materia *Again, they laugh* Lucca: Ya know, I can't quite picture Vincent as a furry... >into it and fires the fists are so painful it beats Robotnick to death. Other Lucca: And there was much rejoicing. All: Yay. >After that the moogles just about fall down, but one approaches Cid and >the moogle sticks out his hand like he wants money. "Hell no I’m going to >pay you. We never asked you to play the music!" says Cid Jack (Cid): So there, nyah! >"FUCKYOUMAN" Citan: Cid's superhero alter ego! >says the moogle and he walks away angry. "Sepiroth come out where ever you >are!" yells Cid. Rudy (Sephiroth): Bite me! >Then Sepiroth appears. "You may have won today, but there is always >tomorrow." Other Lucca: o/~ Tomorrow!/ Tomorrow!/ I love ya/ Tomorrow! o/~ *WHAM!* Lucca: Shaddap! >Says Sepiroth, and he disappears. "Oh well. Sonic I need you to do >something." Rudy (Cid): Could you do my taxes? Shera won't get off her lazy *(& to do 'em! >Says Cid "Yea." Says Sonic in a happy voice over exitment of finally Citan (Sonic): Yea. Wow. Cool. >getting to do something. "Take these bomb and Ramza (Cid): -blow up the author. >set them all over this place. "OK!" Then Sonic runs around as fast as >he can placing the bombs. Rudy (Sonic): And they ask, "Are you evil?" And I say, "Yeah, baby, yeah! For I am the crazy midnight bomber what bombs at midnight! >While he did that everyone runs out of the so-called Metropolis. Citan: *gasp!* They are going to blow up Lois Lane! >Then Sonic runs out. "Ok all set." Says Sonic. Cid pushes the button Lucca (Dr. Forrester): Push the button, Cid. >to detonate the bombs. "WAIT!!! Tails is still in there!!" yells Sally, >but it was to late… BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! Citan (Homer): D'oh! >"OH MY GOD YOU KILLED TAILS!!!" yells Sally "YOU BASTARD!! I wanted to >do it!" yells Sonic. Rudy: I thought that was only in ASADAE... Hanpan: DON'T SAY THAT!! >Later at Sonic’s hut. "Well we’d better get back to Midgar. We will >have a Citan (Cid): -a barbeque! >better chance of finding Sepiroth there." Says Cid Lucca: You'd have an even _better_ chance if you go to the north crater! >"Thanks for your help. Now I can live a normal life. Citan: Until Sally finds out about his drag show, that is. >I hope you find Sepiroth and take him down." Says Sonic. Then the group >says bye to Sonic and Sally and get in the car and head for Sanfransico. Citan: Now step on the gas! *WHACK!* >TO BE CONTINUED! All: *groan* >Return to Final Fantasy VII Fanfictions Ramza: That's not really necessary. *All get up to leave, but...* Other Lucca: *Tries to open the door* The hell? It's locked! Mala-chan's voice: I hope you haven't forgotten the other piece of sunshine I'm sending up for that TGIF crack. Jack: That reminds me... *Takes the Iron Fan and smacks Citan upside his head with it* That's for getting us stuck in here even longer! Citan: I said I was sorry! *All go back to their seats* >The most Caffienated MSTier Award goes to... Jack: -Rudy Roughnight. Rudy: That's not true! Jack: Then explain all the empty "Jolt" bottles I find all over the place. Rudy: ... bite me. >JAMIE JEANS!!! Rudy: I told you it wasn't me. Jack: Don't push it, kid. >Jamie runs out Other Lucca: Run, Jamie, Run! >and takes up the bronze statute of the bottle of Jolt with his name >printed on the stand. Rudy: Oh, now _that's_ original. >"Oh thank you! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! Ramza (Jamie): Did I forget to say "Thank you"? >I can't believe I won this award! Lucca (Iago): Oh, now that's a real _surprise_! I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and _die_ from that _surprise_! >Oh man... wow... drinking all of those pots of coffee and bottles of Jolt >have finally paid off! Yay!" Citan (Jamie): Yeah! Not being able to go to sleep and having to use the bathroom every ten minutes is cool! >Samantha sighed and Alexander blinked Citan: Who are they? Rudy: Long story, I'll tell you later. >as Jamie ran off the kareoke stand of the Anipike Club and started to >hug everyone. Rudy: Glomp! Lucca (Shampoo): You no Ranma-husband! *Pretends to whack Rudy* >"Oh man... dad is gonna be on this caffiene high for some time," Citan: Did she say "dad"?! o.O Rudy: Don't ask. >Samantha said, rubbing her Rudy: Saaaay... >forehead Rudy: Oh. >with her hand. Ramza: Instead of her feet. Rudy: *Goes off into his own little dreamland* Hehehehehehehe! >"You got a headacher too, big sister?" Alexander asked. >Samantha nodded and then winced as Jamie was clobbered by Makoto >for hugging her the wrong way. Ramza (Makoto): SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE! Lucca (Jamie): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! >"I just hope they don't give out another one next year... no doubt >he'll win that one as well." Jack: Be afraid, be very afraid. >Alexander nodded and handed the bottle of Aspirin to Samantha. Jack: Ya mind sending some our way? >She gladly took it and swallowed a few Ramza: Hundred. >tablets. *Reverse door sequence* [Futuristic theater] Rini: Let's see if I can use this to get out of here... *Holds the locket and concentrates. She disappears with a pulse of blue light* Ash: Well, she's gone... Mendou: Dammit! She could have taken us with her! Cid: Yeah! Frol: Yeah, but who knows where we'd end up? Mendou: Point taken. [Nowhere 1] Rini: Now where am I? *Sees that she is not alone. She seems to recognize the people there* Boss? That you? Mysterious female 1: Shhhhh! No spoilers! Go away! Rini: But- MF1: GO! Rini: OK, OK, sheesh! *Disappears with blue light* [SOL] Rudy: Well, that was... pointless. Jack: I'll say. Everyone in the fic was out of character and the plot was one big series of contrievences and- Ramza: Cloud and Cait Sith?! That's too wrong to even use as blackmail! Lucca: If it were a parody, it wouldn't have been so bad, but... Citan: Also, was it me or was everyone there either sex crazed or overly violent? Jack: It's not you. Other Lucca: When do I get to smite the Mads? Lucca: Later, um, do you have a name? Other Lucca: Just call me... *Thinks hard for a moment or two* Charlotte! *The red button flashes* Jack: Er, Mike and the 'bots are calling. *Presses the button* [E.C.] Mala-chan: Hello- *Rini appears behind Mala-chan* Rini: Where am I now? Mala-chan: You! I thought you were on the satellite!! Rini: Well, I'm not there now, now am I? Mala-chan: Dycedarg, push the button. *FWOOSH!* Not that button! The _other_ button! Dycedarg: Oh, right. *Presses a button. A familiar portal appears under Rini, dropping her in it* [SOL] *The portal opens on the ceiling, dropping Rini... on top of Ramza* Ramza: Ouch... Rini: Oh, sorry. [E.C.] Mala-chan: Now push the "FWOOOSH" button, Dycedarg! Dycedarg: Right, then. *FWOOSH!* *Fade to black* *Roll credits* --------------------------------------------------- THE REAL END E-mail comments to me at: Lessa990@aol.com You probably won't though... >"Holy Shit! Damn Tifa you got some nice ass tits." Says Red XIII Season one: ------------------ Episode 101: "Battle of the Strongest" Episode 102: Raging Double Feature ("Wild ARMs Rage" and "Toshinden Rage") Episode 103: "The Cursed Waters" Episode 104: "The Jonathanlizers" Episode 105: "Final Fantasy VII: The Untold Story"